I caught him lying to me and he walked out

**bronzebunny** · 07-13-2008 05:01 PM

My husband has been working 2 nights a week at a second job for about 4 mths now, so that we can pay of our cc bills before we have a baby in Oct. I was going to wash his jeans and pulled out a receipt from a bar dated for the night he was "working"! I was pissed and called him on it and he just blew me off, saying it was after I left work and only for two beers. We didnt speak for the rest of the night. I was still mad this morning and asked if he had anything to say and we started to argue, he then said maybe I should leave for a while, I thought he ment to play golf or something, just get out of the house....well he left with a few suits for the week and his ovrnight bag! Why is he running ut on me? anyone have any suggestions for me?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-13-2008 05:25 PM

Well, he gave you an answer, "it was after work", then defended himself,
"and only two beers" however, you didn't speak to him for the rest of the night, then the next day you persued even further "anything you want to say?".

So obviously, you didn't believe the answer.

Obviously, he's in a no win situation...

And, more than likely this is an occuring thing, of "non trust" or making a mountain out of a mould hill for him and he's had enough.

If you trusted him, you would have said, well why didn't you bring me home a bottle of champagne, only joking i can't drink and smiled.

But you called him as well on it, not waited until he got home.

Non trust - he can't win - no communication going on.

**Fire(m)** · 07-13-2008 06:10 PM

Don't take all the heat Bronze. Life and marriage is a 2 way street. He owes it to you to be honest. Totally honest. There's no excuse for lying, and walking out is just wrong.

And yes, I'm a man and I said that. I hope things calm down and you're able to get this situation resolved Bronze. Good luck.
Cheers.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-13-2008 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Fire(m)

Don't take all the heat Bronze. Life and marriage is a 2 way street. He owes it to you to be honest. Totally honest. There's no excuse for lying, and walking out is just wrong.

And yes, I'm a man and I said that. I hope things calm down and you're able to get this situation resolved Bronze. Good luck.
Cheers.

Yes, that is if he is lying......

When i said "no communication", i mean't both not one sided, he should have felt easy to come home that particular night, and state, he stopped by for a couple of beers how was your day, to his wife but there is no communication there. And, correct me if i am wrong but both partners should always feel comfortable talking about anything, if nothing to hide.

Just for the record, bronzebunny, I'm not "putting all the heat on you", but i understand why the above poster felt that i did, hense the added post here of explanation.

As you haven't stated that you have had concerns before where he has lied to you in the past, hense your questioning on -going.

Often more information is forthcoming from an original question whereby a clearer picture is given to answer. My answer was based on why he possibly left.

I do agree with the above poster and omitted that accidently, your pregnant, 6 months? And, he packed a few things and left, that's not a good man in my books anyway, and i do that and i hope he returns tomorrow after cooling down.

If he is working 2 nights a week, plus full time, he could be feeling stressed and any pressure could also make him do hasty things.

If he is lying and not working at all those two nights, then he could have felt guilty and walked out, as he has no explanation.

So, i guess the question is, do you know that he is working those two nights? And, do you have reason to feel that you can not trust him?

Because all i saw, not knowing any of that, is he answered and you didn't believe ...

CW

**jayjay** · 07-13-2008 06:34 PM

Most of us don't have a place to go just like that. the fact he did, well...hmmmm.
Bronze, don't worry it.
Look at the possible scenarios;

1) he's having an affair and you said the 'magic words'. (He was looking for an
excuse to move in with her.

2) he's fed up with the marriage, the baby and just wants to be free for a while.

Either way, he's not ready to be married, or a father.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-13-2008 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by jayjay

Most of us don't have a place to go just like that. the fact he did, well...hmmmm.
Bronze, don't worry it.
Look at the possible scenarios;

1) he's having an affair and you said the 'magic words'. (He was looking for an
excuse to move in with her.

2) he's fed up with the marriage, the baby and just wants to be free for a while.

Either way, he's not ready to be married, or a father.

Parents place? lol jayjay, hopefully it's not number 1) or 2), just a phase.

**commonsense** · 07-14-2008 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by jayjay

Most of us don't have a place to go just like that. the fact he did, well...hmmmm.
Bronze, don't worry it.
Look at the possible scenarios;

1) he's having an affair and you said the 'magic words'. (He was looking for an
excuse to move in with her.

2) he's fed up with the marriage, the baby and just wants to be free for a while.

Either way, he's not ready to be married, or a father.

I agree. It takes a lot for a person to walk out with luggage. This didn't happen just because you caught him. He's been thinking about leaving for awhile and this just gave him a reason to go ahead and do it.
I bet he's seeing somebody.

**jayjay** · 07-14-2008 05:40 PM

The luggage thing got me and I think it also set off an alarm in Commonsense. Someone
slams out of a house, that's one thing, but to take luggage means there are arrangements
in place.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-14-2008 07:00 PM

bronzebunny
well he left with a few suits for the week and his ovrnight bag!

Without further information on past situations, i'm not one to speculate, judge, as it still could be a simple thing such as can't handle being a husband/father, not ready, too much commitment and he could have gone home to his parents house.

I truly dislike men leaving their pregnant wives irrespective of the reason and especially that far along, it's not a time to be on your own.

I hope that he returned the next day, or went to his parents house.

I understand, logic can also be that he is having an affair, off course, not at work drinking, or it was after work, not staying with parents, but with a lady, or staying with parents.

But, as i said, without further information........

CW

**jayjay** · 07-14-2008 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Without further information on past situations, i'm not one to speculate, judge, as it still could be a simple thing such as can't handle being a husband/father, not ready, too much commitment and he could have gone home to his parents house.

I truly dislike men leaving their pregnant wives irrespective of the reason and especially that far along, it's not a time to be on your own.

I hope that he returned the next day, or went to his parents house.

I understand, logic can also be that he is having an affair, off course, not at work drinking, or it was after work, not staying with parents, but with a lady, or staying with parents.

But, as i said, without further information........

CW

What set off the 'alarm' is that he seemed to have it 'under control'. He packed 'a few'
suits.

Leaving a pregnant wife is unacceptable.
Ladies, some of us become rather difficult when we are pregnant, but our men
stick by us. They cut down on work once we reach the fifth month. Make sure
we are alright. This husband increases his job load.

Thread: I caught him lying to me and he walked out

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

I caught him lying to me and he walked out

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions