Husband: Erectile Dysfunction Myself:Sex Addict

mylittlewifey · 08-16-2008, 06:48 PM

Firstly: Me being a Sex Addict I have never once Cheated on my husband and have always been faithfull to him. However I do have a very high sex drive.

It has taken me 13 years and the fact that I broke, totally went off about it and threaten to leave if he didn't see a Dr.

For 13 years he has suffered from Erection problems. I think since as we were 18 when we got together and the fact that I have supported, been nice, tried to help, tried to encourage him to seek help. everything! Including me starting to feel like I was the problem and that it was something I wasn't doing for him and it seriously affected my self esteem.

I feel now that after a huge row and him having finally gone top the Dr but his lack of actually talking to me about. I understand when he says he feels ashamed, but I feel cheated out of 13 years. All he had to do was go to the Dr and yet he, because of him being ashamed, let me believe it was my fault!
I feel p****d off that he wouldn't even talk to me about it.

It's not like he's a loving husband, or one that ever spoils me with Gifts. I'm lucky if I am ever rememebered at Birthdays and Christmas. I'm not ever asking for expensive gifts, I never had. But something that has thought put in and not a DVD that he wanted!
I feel like it's something I can not talk to about with my few close friends as they know my hubby and I have never told anyone about his problem.
I feel at the moment like I'm banging my head on the wall and I'm sick of being turned down for sex almost everytime because he's just not in the mood and then he sulks because he can't and I get no contact in anyway!
Feel upset, low and a little annoyed.

**Fire(m)** · 08-17-2008, 11:12 AM

What was the result of him going to the doctor? Did he get a "fix" from the Doc?

What I find hard to believe is that you put up with this for 13 years. If you put up with this for 13 years, why are you mad at him? You put up with it! In the future, when you see something happen like this, just put your foot down in the beginning and take care of business. If that means you and he go to the Doc, and YOU tell the doc what's going on while he stand in the corner then what-ever.

Remember, this has only been a problem to YOU. He hasn't cared to fix it because it's' no biggie to him. To me you shouldn't have to go off about this. What you should do is when you recognize it to be a real problem, just get him to the doctors. If that means both of you going and you telling the doctor what's going on, then so be it.

Now, he SHOULD have cared enough about you to go get this problem taken care of. I would rather be humiliated by telling this to a Doctor for 10 seconds than be humiliated in front of my wife because I couldn't get or keep a hard-on for 13 years! That's crazy on so many levels.

I hope he got a fix to the problem.
Cheers.

**OG612** · 08-17-2008, 06:10 PM

I'm not medical expert, but I know more than I should. Erectile Dysfunction is when the man cannot get/keep an erection. Pills like Viagra and Cialis are usually short-term fixes for this.

But it sounds like he just doesn't have a sex drive. This is more common in women (although it's rare) and it's even more uncommon in men. With women, they call this "frigidity." I'm not sure what they call it for men. Guys with ED can get it up on ocassion. They even want to have sex! It just sounds like the man you love has no sex drive.

I'm not sure if seeing a medical doctor will help with this (although it wouldn't hurt) but seeing a hypnotist in your area, like a psychiatrist who does hypnotherapy, might be able to make an improvement in his condition.

Look in to it.

OG

**Joy** · 08-17-2008, 08:20 PM

well if you can't talk to your closest friends then you can talk to us. Its a hard subject to talk about cause well lots of men don't want to admit they have the problem can't say as i blame them they are so programed to be macho and studs. So he has lived in denial for 13 years. I feel bad for you guys cause you both have been robbed of your sexual expression. I can understand your anger..... sex and initmacy are free you were not asking to be showered with gifts you just wanted physical attention and never got it. I hope he gets better and that you can deal with your anger over the feeling of being rejected. You weren't but i can see how and why you felt that way.

I myself can't imagine going 13 years without my man making me feel like a woman. No doubt you are a little bitter about it all. You should look up Carolines wish she is a great writer and is all about blooming late and taking advantage of it. I hope you and your husband can turn up the heat!

**rcoreyus** · 08-18-2008, 03:44 PM

Society has made men very self concious about this sort of problem. A LOT of men would not be able to talk about it.

There are lots of fun things you can do in bed even if he can't get a full erection - so it doesn't need to be that much of an impact on your sex life.

08-16-2008, 06:48 PM	#1
mylittlewifey Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: UK Posts: 1	Husband: Erectile Dysfunction Myself:Sex Addict Firstly: Me being a Sex Addict I have never once Cheated on my husband and have always been faithfull to him. However I do have a very high sex drive. It has taken me 13 years and the fact that I broke, totally went off about it and threaten to leave if he didn't see a Dr. For 13 years he has suffered from Erection problems. I think since as we were 18 when we got together and the fact that I have supported, been nice, tried to help, tried to encourage him to seek help. everything! Including me starting to feel like I was the problem and that it was something I wasn't doing for him and it seriously affected my self esteem. I feel now that after a huge row and him having finally gone top the Dr but his lack of actually talking to me about. I understand when he says he feels ashamed, but I feel cheated out of 13 years. All he had to do was go to the Dr and yet he, because of him being ashamed, let me believe it was my fault! I feel p****d off that he wouldn't even talk to me about it. It's not like he's a loving husband, or one that ever spoils me with Gifts. I'm lucky if I am ever rememebered at Birthdays and Christmas. I'm not ever asking for expensive gifts, I never had. But something that has thought put in and not a DVD that he wanted! I feel like it's something I can not talk to about with my few close friends as they know my hubby and I have never told anyone about his problem. I feel at the moment like I'm banging my head on the wall and I'm sick of being turned down for sex almost everytime because he's just not in the mood and then he sulks because he can't and I get no contact in anyway! Feel upset, low and a little annoyed.

08-17-2008, 06:10 PM	#3
OG612 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Twin Cities, MN Posts: 306	I'm not medical expert, but I know more than I should. Erectile Dysfunction is when the man cannot get/keep an erection. Pills like Viagra and Cialis are usually short-term fixes for this. But it sounds like he just doesn't have a sex drive. This is more common in women (although it's rare) and it's even more uncommon in men. With women, they call this "frigidity." I'm not sure what they call it for men. Guys with ED can get it up on ocassion. They even want to have sex! It just sounds like the man you love has no sex drive. I'm not sure if seeing a medical doctor will help with this (although it wouldn't hurt) but seeing a hypnotist in your area, like a psychiatrist who does hypnotherapy, might be able to make an improvement in his condition. Look in to it. OG __________________ Through hypnosis, I create confident men and women to succeed in all facets of their lives. This place will soon get very interesting

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

08-17-2008, 11:12 AM	#2
Fire(m) Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 290	What was the result of him going to the doctor? Did he get a "fix" from the Doc? What I find hard to believe is that you put up with this for 13 years. If you put up with this for 13 years, why are you mad at him? You put up with it! In the future, when you see something happen like this, just put your foot down in the beginning and take care of business. If that means you and he go to the Doc, and YOU tell the doc what's going on while he stand in the corner then what-ever. Remember, this has only been a problem to YOU. He hasn't cared to fix it because it's' no biggie to him. To me you shouldn't have to go off about this. What you should do is when you recognize it to be a real problem, just get him to the doctors. If that means both of you going and you telling the doctor what's going on, then so be it. Now, he SHOULD have cared enough about you to go get this problem taken care of. I would rather be humiliated by telling this to a Doctor for 10 seconds than be humiliated in front of my wife because I couldn't get or keep a hard-on for 13 years! That's crazy on so many levels. I hope he got a fix to the problem. Cheers.

08-17-2008, 08:20 PM	#4
Joy Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 625 Blog Entries: 5	well if you can't talk to your closest friends then you can talk to us. Its a hard subject to talk about cause well lots of men don't want to admit they have the problem can't say as i blame them they are so programed to be macho and studs. So he has lived in denial for 13 years. I feel bad for you guys cause you both have been robbed of your sexual expression. I can understand your anger..... sex and initmacy are free you were not asking to be showered with gifts you just wanted physical attention and never got it. I hope he gets better and that you can deal with your anger over the feeling of being rejected. You weren't but i can see how and why you felt that way. I myself can't imagine going 13 years without my man making me feel like a woman. No doubt you are a little bitter about it all. You should look up Carolines wish she is a great writer and is all about blooming late and taking advantage of it. I hope you and your husband can turn up the heat!

08-18-2008, 03:44 PM	#5
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,334	Society has made men very self concious about this sort of problem. A LOT of men would not be able to talk about it. There are lots of fun things you can do in bed even if he can't get a full erection - so it doesn't need to be that much of an impact on your sex life.