My husband cant make up his mind about a famil now or later

mrsbou · 08-16-2008, 07:51 PM

I have been married for a year and me ad hbby have taked about kids since the beginning i would like to start a family soon he goes through a spel every month where for 1 or 2 days he says he wants to start a faimly now then he says we should wait again a couple days later he still wants to go back to school for 13 mths it is part time school one week every three months and his excuse is he does not want to miss 2years of our childs life which i can understand but he does not now when he wants to go back to school.
It is hard when he messes with the emotions sayng he wants to start then he does not i feel like he is just scared but i am not sre as to how i offer him the reassurance i think he needs has anyone else gone through this or can offer me some reassurance. He eve tells me what he would like to name the kids we cannot have right now

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-16-2008, 09:29 PM

I think procrastination based on him wanting further education which in return more than likely will provide more income into the family, shows that he is sensible...

He probably would love to see a little one running around but can't see the afordability.

I think also the moment some people get married, it just seems to be the next step, start a family.

One year of marriage is still a baby itself. I am assuming you are young. You will know when he is 100% ready and having a baby together when both really want one works much better than one really wants one and the other is still procrastinating with time. As, it will change your life as you know it..

At a guess, I would say your ready to be a Mum and he wants to be a Dad but simply isn't ready for such a responsibility, financially and it's frightening him.. He may also be trying to please you, if you are really wanting a baby, when in reality he's not really ready himself.

CW

**rcoreyus** · 08-18-2008, 03:41 PM

Please don't have a child unless you are both sure you want one. Don't pressure him to decide - if he isn't ready, he isn't. I know its tough on you, but you owe it to your future child to be sure it will have two dedicated loving parents.

08-16-2008, 07:51 PM	#1
mrsbou Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 2	My husband cant make up his mind about a famil now or later I have been married for a year and me ad hbby have taked about kids since the beginning i would like to start a family soon he goes through a spel every month where for 1 or 2 days he says he wants to start a faimly now then he says we should wait again a couple days later he still wants to go back to school for 13 mths it is part time school one week every three months and his excuse is he does not want to miss 2years of our childs life which i can understand but he does not now when he wants to go back to school. It is hard when he messes with the emotions sayng he wants to start then he does not i feel like he is just scared but i am not sre as to how i offer him the reassurance i think he needs has anyone else gone through this or can offer me some reassurance. He eve tells me what he would like to name the kids we cannot have right now

08-16-2008, 09:29 PM	#2
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,933 Blog Entries: 7	I think procrastination based on him wanting further education which in return more than likely will provide more income into the family, shows that he is sensible... He probably would love to see a little one running around but can't see the afordability. I think also the moment some people get married, it just seems to be the next step, start a family. One year of marriage is still a baby itself. I am assuming you are young. You will know when he is 100% ready and having a baby together when both really want one works much better than one really wants one and the other is still procrastinating with time. As, it will change your life as you know it.. At a guess, I would say your ready to be a Mum and he wants to be a Dad but simply isn't ready for such a responsibility, financially and it's frightening him.. He may also be trying to please you, if you are really wanting a baby, when in reality he's not really ready himself. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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08-18-2008, 03:41 PM	#3
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,334	Please don't have a child unless you are both sure you want one. Don't pressure him to decide - if he isn't ready, he isn't. I know its tough on you, but you owe it to your future child to be sure it will have two dedicated loving parents.