Thread: Why do they cheat and lie?

I dont mean to be harsh as i know youre going through a difficult time.... Yet, i believe because you have taken him back after he cheated on you, he knows he can get away with it again...and its likely that he will continue to cheat because of this.

He isnt going to end your relationship because he is getting the best of both worlds.... someone to come home to and have a family with and someone to have a 'fling' with.... it is unlikely that he actually cares for this woman (emotionally), he has a past with you.

Is there a chance that he is cheating because he isnt getting that 'passion' at home with you anymore? Im not blaming you at all, youve done nothing wrong... just trying to help out ...

All men lie and cheat because they are all dirty pigs

But yeah, you didn't set a good example letting him get away with it. You place too little worth on yourself. You want to know what you can do to stop him from cheating? Do you know how weak a position that sounds?

But sure, it could be that things have gotton mundane, boring, and that he is seeking thrills from elsewhere. Does he get enough sex? Do you keep it exciting?

How would he react if you had an affair?

Cheating is rarely about sex in my opinion.

And why is he doing it, as stated above, becuase he can get away with it.

If he is cheating it is becuase he is not getting at home something that he needs. However, the fault MAY NOT be with you. The something he "needs" may be driven by issues he has that he has not resolved.

Have you asked him WHY he did what he did? Try that as a start. If he says he does not know then tell him to come back when he does.

Are you seriously saying women never cheat??? I worked in a factory where this "stud" used to bring his camper (He was young, single and buff) and he had about half the middle aged married women in that thing for "Nooners."

As to what to do? If he IS cheating show him the door and hire a foaming at the mouth level lawyer. In todays, STD and AIDS filled world who needs this ?

Originally Posted by miffed23

I dont mean to be harsh as i know youre going through a difficult time.... Yet, i believe because you have taken him back after he cheated on you, he knows he can get away with it again...and its likely that he will continue to cheat because of this.

He isnt going to end your relationship because he is getting the best of both worlds.... someone to come home to and have a family with and someone to have a 'fling' with.... it is unlikely that he actually cares for this woman (emotionally), he has a past with you.

Is there a chance that he is cheating because he isnt getting that 'passion' at home with you anymore? Im not blaming you at all, youve done nothing wrong... just trying to help out ...

Thanks for the reply. It didn't sound harsh to me just honest. I know maybe in the past I let him get away with the cheating, but since he admitted it to me I keep trying to talk to him about it. And I am at the point where I just don't know what to do. We have sex everday so I don't think that is why he is doing it.

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

All men lie and cheat because they are all dirty pigs

But yeah, you didn't set a good example letting him get away with it. You place too little worth on yourself. You want to know what you can do to stop him from cheating? Do you know how weak a position that sounds?

But sure, it could be that things have gotton mundane, boring, and that he is seeking thrills from elsewhere. Does he get enough sex? Do you keep it exciting?

How would he react if you had an affair?

If he wants to be with me i don't want him to stop cheating. I want him to want to stop. If that makes any sense. He can continue to do it, but then I am going to leave. I just don't understand why he wont admit it to me right now. That's all i want so I can figure my own stuff out, save money and leave. I am a WAHM I take college classes online. I only make about 300 a month so not enough at all. I have 13 classes left. He works and pays all the bills. He helps with the kids even the one that isn't his. The car is his I don't have one. We just moved into our own apartment in June and I signed a one year lease. I would need to figure out a way to save up money and all that so I could leave. My daughter is about to start Kindergarden. And unless I have money to pay get my own apartment I really have no where to go.

Sex hasn't changed since we first started dating. We have sex at least once a day. I keep it exciting besides the fact I would do the anal which he really wants. He is always asking but since the way he has been acting I wont let him.

Originally Posted by owlhunter

Cheating is rarely about sex in my opinion.

And why is he doing it, as stated above, becuase he can get away with it.

If he is cheating it is becuase he is not getting at home something that he needs. However, the fault MAY NOT be with you. The something he "needs" may be driven by issues he has that he has not resolved.

Have you asked him WHY he did what he did? Try that as a start. If he says he does not know then tell him to come back when he does.

I did ask him why and he said it was because we lived 2 hours apart when we first started dating and with the job I had then we didn't see each other often. I know it's not a good excuse, but I am glad he gave me one and didn't just say I don't know or something like that. Whether or not the was the real reason I have no clue.

Originally Posted by Phoebee

Are you seriously saying women never cheat??? I worked in a factory where this "stud" used to bring his camper (He was young, single and buff) and he had about half the middle aged married women in that thing for "Nooners."

As to what to do? If he IS cheating show him the door and hire a foaming at the mouth level lawyer. In todays, STD and AIDS filled world who needs this ?

I never meant to say women do not cheat. I know these days it's pretty equal with who cheats. Currently I can't afford to just show him the door and move on with out him. He is paying the bills and I work at home only making about 300 a month. And I have no where else I could go. My only option is to save money and get my own place.

I agree with Owlhunter
you need to find out why he is cheating. Sounds like he has a good sex life (a lot better than some of us <ng>). Sounds like he has a good relationship with the kids. But he must think he is missing something. He may be unreasonable (probably is), but it would really help if you could get him to tell you what it is he really wants.

Does he feel he can talk to you? This is a big problem in some relationships, where one partner feels they cannot be be open. Sometimes they will find someone else to open to.

This is probably not your fault at all, but maybe you can do something to fix it anyway.

in my opinion he feels like hes missing out on something.......... wat idk... but most guys are like that...
try talking to him and just tell him in plain words... that ur gonna leave him... u are a good women thats why he keeps coming back.. and in his mind he doent want to leave you....
but u have to make it clear to him.. and if hes not being straight forward with you make ur decision..