confusedandscared

God where to begin...I'm wondering if i'm just plain ....I think my bf is cheating....He goes out for walks late at night which he has always stated thats what he likes to do. His cell phone is never far away from his side, even takes it to the shower. He never cared before where it was really. He went away for a night to be by himself due to the anniversary of the death of his little girl many years ago and states he's always done that on the day...ok so maybe hmm....then a few months later he pops up with i'm gonna go visit my buddy on the mainland for 2 days. When he returned i asked to see pictures of the weekend and he replied i'll get him to send them and then i'll show you...that was in june...still no pictures..hmmm ...i'm dumb hey? He's different with me than he used to be in every way, not mean spirited but just different. he claims he loves me but i don't know if he does anymore....Any ideas or help for this mentally person?? i am going to talk to him tonight and ask him to be honest, so we can move on or move out......

Wiltered flower

Hi Confused , I have been seeing the same signs in my boyfriend for nine years,yes nine years. I know I sound like a sucker for punishment and I probably am. Is it more or less like his cell phone has become part of his body ? That is the cheaters way how to comunicate with there lovers.Have you ever been able to get access to his phone to see if a certain number is being called all the time ? Even better, His phone bill would be the best thing to look at or does he hide it from you like my BF does ?

Wilterede Flower

confusedandscared

Ok so i'm not the only one feeling like its a punishment. Yes his cell phone has become a part of his body. His phone is password protected and it always has been even when i first met him. He has always gotten his bill online so that's out lol. Why Why Why is it just so hard to say get out.

Wiltered flower

I feel like you and I are going through the feeling of being shut out as if we are worth nothing to them. There is no doubt in my mind that yours and my BF are up to the no good.I am trying also to find a way out,but for some unknown reason feel like I am trapped . Men can be such selfish creatures. They want there cake and eat it too . But they do not relize the heartbreak they are putting us through everday.Just out of curiosity.Does your BF use working late as an excuse a fair bit ?

Confused , I know this sounds gross.But I have been going through this way to long and have learnt a few tips from a P.I. What he suggested to me is keep a diary about his underwear..LOL . He told me to try and see what color underwear he is wearing..the darker the color..the better . Hold of sex while he is wearing those underwear.When he takes them off to be washed.Check for a starchy kind of stain on his underwear.Because you have not had sex with him..you will know that the semen stains are not because of you.There is a kit you can buy called Checkmate that can test to see if any stains are actually semen.If it comes back positive he is BUSTED !!! Also, make sure the underwear has been washed before he puts them on.

Google, getcheckmate.com. Make sure you delete the history on your computer .

W.Flower. Good luck.Pitty it has to be under these sircumstances hey?

Circumstances.I meant Circumstances

rcoreyus

This is one of the reasons I don't think it is worth spying on someone. Stains in the underwear? Yes, might be due to sex, or maybe he watches dirty movies, or maybe he just jerks off at the office restroom when he gets horny (wouldn't want to get caught by the boss, but not bad in the way cheating is).

If you look you will keep looking until you find something - real on not. Might as well just give up and save yourself the pain. At the point where you have lost so much trust that you need to spy, I think the relationship is over.

anonymouswhitefemale

I think that could only ever make sense in a womans head.

A semen stain in your underwear means BUSTED on an affair? b/s

ALSO, if I found my woman doing something like that it's the "this isn't going to work" talk.

Davey

LOL I was laughing at that. I leak precum when I know my girlfriends on her way. A healthy man have around five erections while sleeping, which could result in a fluid when it returns to flacidity. Not good evidence to support your accusations. Stop paying a scumbag PI's bills and have a serious sitdown with your man. I'm not gonna pretend to know your situation, but I can tell you that for the most part it's the being alone part that ppl are scared of, not so much the person. Sit him down an find out the deal adult to adult. What's the worst that could happen.

Wiltered flower

It decects (semen) not fliuds that are secreted from the penis when a man gets aroused.I am not paying no P.I AT ALL THANK YOU.But obviously the girl on here is seeing a few tell tale signs of her bf having an affair. Besides,many woman have caught there cheating spouses/husbands with the checkmate.

I had a talk to a P.I about the fear of my fiancee cheating.He suggested that I try Checkmate.He also went on to explain that even though men do have a thing called pre ejaculation fluid..the test is %100 accurate when it comes to detecting the difference.I am not here to debate with anyone,just trying to help.

W.Flower

rcoreyus

Problem is, men masturbate - sometimes at work in the restroom, Or at home before they go to work. Any of those could leave actual semen stains.

I think it is important - women might use a test like this and think it is absolute. It is sort of like DNA evidence. DNA evidence is very good at showing that a person's DNA was in some location - but it doesn't necessarially say what the person was doing there.

For my part, if I discovered my wife was hiring a PI to investigate me, or doing any other sort of active checking on me I'd leave (and I'm not doing anything questionable (except posting to this news group that is <g>)). A relationship needs trust. If you don't trust your spouse - leave, don't try to find evicdence. Evidence is to try to get a better divorce settlement.

You can never proove that something didn't happen, only keep looking until you convince yourself that it did.

Wiltered flower

RCOREYUS,THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING IT IN MORE OF A POLITE WAY.I JUST KNOW THE HURT IT CAN CAUSE ANYBODY TO BE CHEATED ON AND FEEL SORRY FOR ANYONE THAT HAS TO GO THROUGH THAT KIND OF PAIN.

W.FLOWER