amea114

hi, my name's annmarie (my friends call me AM) i'm 23 years old and i reside in pennsylvania. i am a new mommy! i found out i was pregnant with my first child 2 weeks after my mom, whom i was extremely close with passed away. i also found out my edd was feb 8; my mom's birthday! talk about coincidence! my pregnancy was not easy at all, i developed hypertension and gestational diabetes. because of the diabetes i was scheduled to be induced into vaginal labor at 39 weeks. after being induced on feb 1 the baby's head was molding when i was at 8 cm and my blood pressure went up and my son's heart rate when down too low so i was told i needed to have an emergency c-section. my son, jordan was born healthy, 6lbs 12oz 20in long. i however couldn't find any joy in his arrival. i had and am still having problems bonding with him. i remember feeling like i was "stuck" with him and he couldn't possibly be "my" baby, and i thought he was too perfect to be mine. two weeks passed after his delivery and the depression got significantly worse. i am currently taking the lowest dosage of zoloft and going to psychotherapy weekly. i also found out that i may be suffering from a condition called cyclthymia or bipolar disorder and in april i have my first visit with a psychiatrist. i'm hoping to find other women to confide in for advice and to share their stories. maybe i can help someone else feel not so alone too! hope to hear from you soon! --AM

alibaby

Hi amea114.

I'm sorry that you lost your mom. Sad that she won't be able to meet her grandson. I can relate somewhat as my mom passed away when I was child, so my kids have only seen her in pictures. I've never dealt with postpartum depression or been bipolar, but I know that psychotherapy is a great tool in healing. It can be a lot of work but the rewards will be well worth it. I don't post much (being a little adventurous tonight, I guess ) but this is a great place to learn as well as get feedback.

See you around.

Ali

elisea

hi amea114

i sort of know how your feeling because i have got postpartum depression and my daughter is 11 months i have found it hard to bond with her and the only help i have been given is some tablets "TRAZODONE HYDROCHLORIDE". my depression developed while i was pregant has i also had a few health problems and lost my nan who i love to pieces and split up with my babys dad so i was on my own. since having her it doesnt even feel like shes my baby most days and that im stuck in hole i cant get out of. My depression got to extreme measures but since being on my mediciation ive felt abit better but not quite myself yet.... if you wana chat im online everynight on "