Fat and depressed :(

**Jesinsnicks** · 02-01-2012 09:52 AM

Well here I am , I'm from Ontario Canada , 37 with 3 kids and married.
I just got back from Mexico vacation and after seeing photos of my self I sat and cried

nothing fits me, I look so fat and seriously I am so depressed. I FEEL like my DH doesn't find me sexy anymore and I hate going anywhere. I need to lose 20lbs minimum. My BFF is so skinny and pretty I hate going out with her cause I feel like such a cow.
I don't like working out and I love food and beer and I feel like food and beer makes me feel happy and if I stop eating what I like and drinking beer I'll just be depressed about that too!! So I'm lost and feel like I have no hope .....

**KMonte85** · 02-01-2012 10:28 AM

Hi Jes and welcome to the forum!

If you're focused on weight loss, you may want to check out WH's Fitness, Nutrition, and Weight Loss Forum! There are lots of people here who are looking to improve their health and get fit (including myself!!), and I think you might find some useful information, which can be found here: Fitness, Nutrition & Weight Loss

I can feel the frustration and sadness in your post. You seem to be in a bit of a self-defeating cycle. You feel bad about being overweight, so you beat yourself up about it, and you make yourself feel better by eating and drinking unhealthy foods/drinks. That behavior along with not exercising is what makes you overweight, which makes you feel bad, which makes you find solace in the comfort foods again... You see?

If you REALLY want to lose some weight, something's gotta give here! You're going to have to bust out of this cycle! I hope we can help you with whatever goals you have towards making a healthy lifestyle change! Both with our advice and our support!

**Tim** · 02-01-2012 12:48 PM

For me, it required a lifestyle change. Although I understand you love food and beer (the latter of which will keep you heavier without question) it is *extremely* rewarding to pursue a new avenue of health and fitness, and, the great news is, most of the best exercise techniques these days are of far shorter duration than they ever used to be AND are far more effective!

If you're willing to make some sacrifices, and in turn find alternatives to some of your current food choices, reduce the quantity, embark on a healthy detox plan (often the foods and alcohols we crave are due to internal issues that cause the cravings we have) you will be rewarded.

Hey...it's the beginning of February...if you started now, by the time summer hit your part of the world, you'd have a pretty dang awesome bod that you could be happy with...and easily by summer, likely by Spring.

My first suggestion as a guy with a six-pack: Go lengths to cut the beer out. At the very very least, cut the quantity WAY down. It is a toxin, empty calories, lousy carbs, worthless drink. You CAN live without it. I used to down forty-ouncers every night for years. Haven't had a drop in six years now and feel SOOOOOOOOOO much better (and look SOOOOO much better)

**anelim** · 02-01-2012 12:50 PM

Hey Jes,

Welcome to that awesome forum! You'll find a lot of support here. I am in Ontario too. Let's connect - watch for my private message

**Jesinsnicks** · 02-01-2012 01:29 PM

Ty all for the welcome

and ane I think we live VERY CLOSE lol !!

I really really hate the gym :/ I do have a fairly physical job that requires me to walk allot and I own a few horses. I had surgery last yr so I didn't really ride and was on light duties at work. So that's when I gained this 20lbs - I cannot believe how quick I put it on its scary. So I'm going to start riding my horses more again and walking at work. It's so much harder to loose weight in ur 30's!! Ugh!!
Now as far as food (gulp) the hard part I find is Eatting with the family. What diets are working now? When I was in Mexico I went to a show in playa de carmen called coco bongos I do wanna have a butt and thighs like those girls * sighs *

**KMonte85** · 02-01-2012 01:41 PM

There's absolutely zero reason for you to have to step foot in a gym to get fit! You can do anything you can do there right in your own home... The WORLD is your gym!

**Jesinsnicks** · 02-01-2012 02:00 PM

hahaha great, I really have limited time with my job/kids/horses that going to the gym would be almost impossible

**KMonte85** · 02-01-2012 02:10 PM

I hear ya! It's tough for busy people to find the time to exercise, but if it is important enough, we find a way! Completely doable

**anelim** · 02-01-2012 09:57 PM

[QUOTE=Jesinsnicks;307503]Ty all for the welcome

and ane I think we live VERY CLOSE lol !!

Lol, Jes I just noticed - you have it mentioned in your profile. Ha-ha it's a small world. I am currently working with friends on a project in our home town - I think you will be very interested. Where can I send you details?

**Tim** · 02-02-2012 12:44 PM

A gym is absolutely NOT necessary, but activity IS...and it needs to mostly be resistance exercise. A favorite of mine are the resistance bands, and there are some that I believe Sears carries, "Yes 4 all" or some silly name like that, but they are double-banded, so if it breaks, it won't snap back and hit you (have had this happen to me as I used my manly brute force to TRY to break the bands...and eventually succeeded. Don't be dumb like yours truly)

Seriously, they're awesome and getting the muscles moving and toning is what makes for our fat burning machine.