Most of you already know JUST what kind of circus I live in. If not, I will debreif you.
I currently live with my mom and step-dad, along with my eldest sister (who has a rage problem) and her two children, whom I watch over for free. My other sister is dating my eldest sisters ex, who just happens to have a child with this man, so of course they fight. Why dont I move, you ask? I would, but I have never been able to feel comfortable at my dads house, because my step-brother molested me for 6 consecutive years. When I finally told, my mom told my dad, and then my dad told my step-mom (who now hates me), and they took my step-brother to the police, and he lied and said he never "touched me". So, he got away with it, and my step-mom made me out to a liar to my whole family. The worst part of that story? I was kicked out of my dads house, and HE got to stay. They never told my step-sister what had happened (as I found out a few months back) and let her believe I hated the lot of them. The sad part is that I have been molested by TWO different family members (one of them being my uncle). My uncle came to me and apologized for it, and I forgave him. My step-brother has never apologized, and now has a child of his own....a little girl.

I have never been the star student in school. I would always fake being sick, and stay home, to avoid the undying question of "what do you want to do when you leave school?". I did manage to graduate, somehow with my marks always in the high 80s. And now I am going back to school...actually...to college (classes start tuesday).

That is all I have to write for now....I'll add more later

I am sorry about the rotten things that have been done to you. I hope things will get a lot better for you in the future.

Told you, you were a strong person and opening a thread to discuss how you feel is a fantastic idea. Good for you.

Add to it daily to help yourself grow.

Those marks are incredible and you will do even better at College and one day, you will be able to live on your own away from all of this...

CW

I have more to add....but I dont know how to edit my posts....(chandlerswhish...HELP)

I am going to do as C.W says, and add to it...

so, for today...

When I was in kindergarten, my parents seperated...because I was young, I thought it was my fault. I took this very hard, and did everything in my power to try and get them back together...(close, but no cigar). I would scare off my mom's boyfriends ( I even put mouse traps in the one guys' shoe), and acted out to get my dad to stay home with me, so I wouldnt have a babysitter that night if he was going to go out.
It obviously didnt work out. My mom now has a husband, and my dad took another wife. The MOST horrible thing ever was when he proposed to my now step-mom. We were at my grandma and grandpa's for dinner. My aunt brought up the subject of marriage, and they all chatted about it for a while. I was at the same table, but I didnt say a word. Then my dad proposed to my step-mom...and ALL I could do was get up from the table, excuse myself, and lock myself in the bathroom and cry. I didnt come out for.....about an hour. I will be the first to admit that I did not want my dad to marry her. She was (and still is) a horrible person. My dad changes around her. The once funny, playful man had become a slave to his emotions...and her.

Don't need to edit, you did fine.

Except you spelt my name wrong haha I'll get over it.

I am in awe at the way you write, you should be a writer.

I am LMAO at the mouse trap wish I was a fly on the wall.

I want to ask how much you see your Mum cause I can.

And, as a result you will marry the Man of Your Dreams cause YOU CAN.

CW

PS: No smiles icons cause i would put one at every sentence and i can only do 4...

C.W- hehehehe, I have this thing where I forget names....its really bad, actually. The names just slip out of my brain. Im not sure where they go, but I hope it is somewhere good.

Thanks...I've never fancied myself as a writer...but you and a few others I know say that they enjoy my writing. WHO KNOWS....Maybe I'll win a Nobel prize for writing a great novel?!

You should SEE some of the stuff I pull. It can get quite insane at times. For instance, out camping, my step-dad kicked us all out of the holiday trailer (ours has no bathroom, just a sink) so he could wash his "naughty bits". Of course I had a witty comment to follow:
"Dont you mean itty bits?"

and for my contribution today:
Life as a surrogate mother is hard. People who say being a housewife is an easy job are OBVIOUSLY misinformed. I find that being a "mom" is one of the most rewarding, and hardest jobs one could ever have....with the WORST pay in the world. Yes, you get the satisfaction of knowing you raised your child well, but thats about it. Before they even say thank-you in the end, you have to go through the terrible twos, threes, fours, fives, sixes...it goes on. And dont get me started about puberty. I have TWO girls who arent mine. One is six, and the other is 10. The six year old is always right, and tells on her sister for everything. The 10 year old is "budding" and has an idea that she can do whatever she pleases. HA....welcome to Auntie Jenn's bootcamp, small children. In my house, we use manners, go to bed good, we dont talk back, we dont sass, we listen, we practice good hygiene, and we eat properly. Oh, there is MORE that we do here at my bootcamp, er...finishing school.
Trust me...they'll thank me when they graduate ( I am the first out of 3 older siblings to graduate).

I havent posted in a couple of days....I started College, and got the Flu.

so here goes.

Being depressed is like wearing a black veil. You can still see, yes, but your vision is not perfectly clear. Those who read this and have suffered from depression know what I am talking about. Sometimes you have those days where you don't want to get out of bed. You just want to forget about ALL of your responsibilities and say screw it. It is like one can feel themselves being sucked down a hole by an unseen force, and only the strong seem to escape its deathly grasps. I have dealt with depression daily for my whole life, and it sucks. But I am here to tell those sufferers that where there is a will, there is a way. Not every day is going to be a bad one. The only way it will be bad, is if you let it. You need to fight those bad feelings. Try crying. Cry until you have no tears left in you. My now deceased friend once told me that there is nothing wrong with a "good cry". My aunt says that that is where Sinus infections come from, is from unshed tears (that explains why I used to get them all of the time).
I know that the people around me love me, but when Im in that mood, all I feel like doing is saying "go to ". But next time you catch youself...try giving yourself sh*t. We all have gumption, we just need to find it.



another one:
I am finally in the phase in my life where for the first time, I feel I am ALMOST ready to spread my wings, and fly from the nest. What with College starting, and my new leaf shining brightly in the warm sun (but sometimes cold rain), I feel almost uplifted. I feel as if I can conquer anything. I even talked to the owner of a bussing company yesterday, and gave him a major lecture on being a good company.*Long story short- his wife gave my sister sh*t for calling about the bus being late, and then HE called my sister, and began giving her sh*t as well, so I grabbed the phone, and politely asked what the problem was, and he said that he has only even gotten compliments on his companies runnings of the school buses, so I replied that when someone does complain about being treated rudely, you do not bypass it, but you LISTEN respectfully...blah blah blah, and he listened* There have been a few ups and downs lately.
I seem to be having these shaking attacks, where I get really weak and shake, so I need to go to the doctors for that. I am also taking care of a baby crow who has a broken leg. He seems to be bringing me some good luck, because everything I do lately, gets rave reviews from people. Like my getting into college. I've never head my dad gloat about me before.
I've also become more of a woman. I am handeling things myself, whereas before I could not even make my own doctors appointment.
The bad part- Satan himself gave me a killer flu that has knocked me down a bit....yuck. Lets hope I get better...A.S.A.P., because as we all know, there is NO time to be sick when you have a lot on your plate of life.