This post will be for those who just typically need a pick up.

You know how it feels when your just feeling bad. When its hard to put on a smile even though the people around you are having a great time. You take deep breaths as an attempt to bring some life into your now beaten soul.

The average human has roughly 20 thousand thoughts in one day. These thoughts pour like the rain, You can not stop them. Some thoughts are good some thoughts are bad. The thoughts that you need to pay attention to are the ones you turn into beliefs. Thoughts have no power over you, however a belief can change your world.

A belief is only a thought that you make real!

Some women don't Believe that they are attractive unless they have make up on! Why do you make this thought real? Instead why not change your thought into a positive and then your belief will follow.

Every time you make a negative thought, before you make it a belief you first must backwards rationalize why this thought is true. At that very moment you should tell yourself to Stop it! The thing with these negative beliefs are that you will unconsciously feed its existence, and prove to yourself that they are true.

For example, If you were not to wear make up one day and you go out, you may notice that your not getting the looks that you usually get. Why you ask? You will convince yourself that your Belief is correct in that you are unattractive because your not wearing make up. What you don't know is that your unconsciously doing is that you are presenting yourself in a UGLY way. Your not smiling, your sluggish in your posture and there will be a loop inside your head of "You look like , you should of put on your make up." What this is communicating to the outside world is that you are not a friendly person therefore do not talk to you or even look at you.

Why do I mention this? What is your negative belief? Are you jealous of other women. Do you believe your not attractive as other women because of your height, weight, age or even skin color. Do you wish you were someone one else or even a little thinner, younger, or even taller?

Stop being so hard on yourself! No one person can change your belief but YOU! Its simple all you have to do is say STOP! When your noticing your turning a bad thought into a belief.

Seeing is not believing, Believing is seeing!

Seeing something simply does not make it real! I as well as others can tell you to no end that you are attractive, but unless you believe it you will not be convinced.

You have to know its who you are being on the inside! If you believe others will see it.

So feed yourself positive thoughts and turn them into a positive belief.

Hope this helps

Live life laugh often and love forever

Well this is an exercise I used in the past that I found helpful and have helped some of the people in my life.

Before you start the exercise you first need to read through it. Pace yourself as your reading. If your a fast reader you should digest each word before moving on to the next. Get yourself in a comfortable position. Whether it be lying down or sitting up it does not make a difference.

1. Now close your eyes and imagine yourself in a room that is completely relaxed. Focus on your breathing. The natural rise and fall of every breath. Become relaxed and let all your worries drift away. Notice your body can relax, and your mind can relax.

2. When you become comfortable Imagine a slightly more confident you sitting or standing in front of you. What is there posture like, how do you talk, breath, smile.

3. Imagine stepping into that more confident you. See through heir eyes, hear through their ears and feel the feelings of your more confident self. And notice that right in front of you is a more confident you; sitting or standing a bit taller, speaking a little clearer, a look of more self-esteem behind their eyes, projecting an aura of more charisma.

4. Repeat step three, stepping into a more and more confident you until you are overflowing with confidence. Be sure to notice how you are using your body, the smiles how they begin to form every time you step into your more confident self. Notice your breathing as it becomes stronger and more defined. Notice the light of pure joy as it forms in your eyes.

When your done Feed yourself affirmations. "I'm a naturally confident person" "I am a person that people love to be around" "I am beautiful" go into detail. The more detail the better it will make you feel.

That's all it will take. You can do this exercise at work or at home. Just don't do it when your driving.

Hope this helps and remember "Be yourself because everyone else is already taken"

Live life laugh often and love forever.

you know when you're feeling down when your walking in a crowded area?
all you need to do to have that bounce in your step, is walk like you have a secret...like "Im dating the guy every woman wants" or " I slept with him, he's small in the "southern areas"....it works.
and at home, write the word GUMPTION on your mirror.
seriously, look up gumption...its a great word.

More of my notes...

A big issue with fear is A LOSS OF ITEMS OR feeling EMPTYNESS


Most people when they are in a relationship that make the relationship there entire world. Imagine a single box with the word relationship in it. Once the relationship ends the box is left empty correct. This is where so many people fall victum to depression. Afterall there is nothing left of you. YOUR EMPTY.


So what do people do? They go and try to meet someone else to fill in that empty box. This has side effects like:

• Acting needy because you are desperatly scattering for someone to fill that empty box.
• You get protective over this guy because once you have the relationship you dont want to lose him.
• You act protective and jealous to keep him.

The Solution


Now imagine a grid with a nine boxes in it. Ill give you an example of mine mine looks like

• Contributions or being giving to others / mentor
• Hobbies
• Leisure activities
• Family
• ALONE TIME
• personal growth
• Work
• Friends
• exercise

These boxes will change as i grow. However if one was to end such as work I still have eight other boxes that define me. So ill never get hung up on one item. The more boxes you have the less needy you will be. The less boxes you have the more needy and depandent you will be to keep that box.

You need to consciously give 100%-everything you have to give to each box of the grid seperately. For example: If your at work then Work 100% holding nothing back. When you are with your friends be with them 100% dont think of some you did this morning. In the community they use the term. "Being in the now"

Act as if you count: Your head space should be along the lines of "Without me these tasks/goals will not be completed.

Some of my reasons:

The reason why i have mentoring others in one of my boxes is because knowing that i help others is a great satisfaction and it gives you the sense of not being helpless, that you are meaningfull in anothers life

Just changing your attitude can effect the way you view the world and how others view you.

How to make the GRID

1. Simply recongnize that you might be caught in a vicious circle.

2. Create your own WHOLE LIFE GRID. Make a 3x3 9 box grid

3. After you have filled in your grid Pick one of the boxes to work on

4. Get a clear picture of the task.

5. List as many things that would have to be done in order to make your visualization become a reality.

Action is the key to your success

6. Repeat steps 3, 4 & 5 for each box

7. Each day, add new goals to each of your boxes.

Bear in mind while completing these goals to give a 100% commitment and repeat to yourself I count. Without you the task/box will not be completed.

hope this helps
Live laugh and love

One of the biggest fears that keeps us from moving ahead in our lives is our difficulty in making decisions.

The problem is that we have been taught our entire life "Be careful! you might make the wrong decision" Thats why many of us post here. We seek the approval of others before we make our decision or looking for suggestions on how to make our decision. Just the sound of making a wrong decision when we are faced with a problem makes some of us quiver.

Closely tied to this is our panic over making mistakes. Our need to consistently be perfect and control the outcome of events work in unison to keep us petrified when we think about making a change in our life.

All you have to do to change you life is change the way you view it.

The NO WIN MODEL

When your faced with a problem you look at your possible options and you try to determine what are the NEGATIVE consequence of each option. Your heart feels heavy about the choice your about to make. You start thinking "Should i do this or should i do that? What if i do this? What if i do that?" The inside voice will run you insane if you let it.

After you make the decision your still trying to figure out if you made the right choice.. You may start to say if i did that then i probably would of got a better result. This is also know as a Negative feedback loop.

The NO LOSE MODEL

You understand that when making a decision what lies ahead of you are just two paths. BOTH OF WHICH ARE RIGHT! Each path has nothing but "delightful goodies" along the way. You are clearly facing a NO-LOSE MODEL.

The Delightful goodies are opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow, to find out Who you are and Who you would really like to be and what would you like to do in life?

Each path is strewn with opportunities-DESPITE THE OUTCOME

If you want something badly enough, there is a way to get it, because there is a way you will find it. Remember that underneath all of your fears is the lack of trust in ourselves. If your still alive and reading this then you've been making successful choices.

"Your not a failure if you dont make it; Your a success because you tried"

One thing to be careful of in the NO LOSE MODEL. DO NOT EVER BE PESSIMISTIC.

That means if you make a choice Dont EVER SAY "Wow i cant believe i did that" or "Wow i survived that"

Before you make a decision

1. Focus immediately on the NO-LOSE model: Affirm to yourself "I cant lose-regardless of the outcome of the decision i make"

2. Do your homework and prepare. What you want to accomplish is just the confidence once faced with the decision you will make the correct one. Also ties with the first step.

3. Establish your priorities. This will require you to look deep inside yourself and figure out what you want... Give yourself some time to think. It is important to understand that goals constantly change as your living life.

4. Trust your impulses. There was no right or wrong decisions, just different ones. This is the old saying of "Trust your gut" comes from. After doing your homework you brain will automatically access your material and give you the best possible outcome. Just beware of that hidden voice. it will try to protect you.

5. Lighten up. We live in a world where most people take themselves and their decisions too seriously. Sorry to bust your bubble but nothing in life is THAT important. Once the decision is made you have many other outcomes because of it.

After making the decision

1. Throw away that perfect picture. We all create expectations of what we would like to happen but there is something you have to realize. YOU DONT CONTROL THE FUTURE.

2. Accept total responsibility for your decisions. Simple dont blame others for the outcome of your decision. "She made me do it." When you take responsibility for your decisions you become a lot less angry at the world and most importantly less angry at yourself

3. Dont protect Correct. It is very important you commit yourself 100% to your decision. SO that means never use the words "I tried" Because that means you didn't give it your best. If you dont like the outcome of something CHANGE IT. Its just as simple as making another decision.

Making decisions from the NO WIN MODEL



Before making a decision

1. Focus on the NO-Win MODEL

2.Listen to your mind drive you crazy

3.Paralyze yourself with anxiety as you try to predict every possible outcome... And the future

4.Don't trust your impulses-Listen to what everyone else think.

5. Feel the heaviness of having to make a decision

After making a decision

1. Create anxiety by trying to control the outcome

2. Blame others if it doesn't work out like you had imagined

3. If it didn't work out, Keep wondering if it would have been better the other way

4. Dont correct problem if the decision is "Wrong"- instead go with it because you have to much invested.

Live laugh and love

I couldnt agree more.

The same principle applies for people that constantly say, 'i cant....' - i test people daily, give them something difficult to carry out or something difficult to do...and thats just it, its difficult, but its not impossible. The amount of times that i've heard someone say, 'but i cant... its impossible', or, 'thats never going to happen - it just wont work.'