AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am so so so so madddd.
sometimes, you want to just write...so thats what I am going to do...so sorry if this post is long.

well, my life seems sooo ed up.

Lets start here...

My brother has a girlfriend, and she is a...um...HARLOT? I know, its none of my business, but hello? They've been going out for a week, and they're saying "I love you" to eachother? NO...my brother is naieve...he didnt even know what a blowjob was...until he made friends with this local boy who is gay. I have NO problem with gay people, but he is...just...INAPPROPRIATE...He was having cyber sex on MY COMPUTER with his boyfriend, and my brother was typing as well...WTF?

Secondly...
My uncle Kenny is coming down, and I am sooo exicited!!! YAY...I havent seen him for years, so I've been preparing. I did the windows today, laundry, the bathroom, organized closets, and did up the supper menu. But I feel so wierd. Im so excited to see him, but Im also kind of scared. I mean...how am I supposed to do school, and then take care of the kids, and make supper, and be a good hostess?

Third...
My mom is pissing me off. I tried to tell her how I feel about my sister living here with her kids...and you know, it was basically a cry for help...and all she said was "you think YOUR unhappy?"
YEA, mom...I am...listen to ME...Im not talking about YOU...I NEED HELP, I CANT DO IT ALL.

Fourth...
My family is driving me crazy...There is always a new fight happening...I cannot keep up anymore...they change who they're mad at as fast as I change my undies (daily...sometimes twice...lol).

Fifth...
School is tooooo easy. I got two of my tests back.... 100 percent, and 95 percent... COME ON...and Im getting bullied. This one chick wont talk to me...and is completely INDIFFERENT...arrrhhhh...Maybe she's just jealous because I KNOW how to spell? I dont know...its getting rediculous. I mean...I could TEACH MY CLASSES...why is college so easy??

sixth...
I facked up my back pretty good. I went to the chiropractor, and he told me that I need to see a doctor right away...He says something is not right. I dont want to go for anymore tests. I've gone for so many already. blood tests, 24 hour urine tests, scopes, x-rays, scans, cancer testing...
like, NO MORE. I KNOW that there is something wrong (lupus is what every doctor has come up with, but canot catch it on a test)..

seventh...
Im beginning to feel so full, that I'm actually running around like a chicken with its head cut off...Ill be cooking, and I'll literally go and do something else, and burn whatever I am cooking.

I just want it to END...I want to be normal. I want to feel like Im knocking down the Berlin Wall, and to be able to feel liberated...does that make sense? Its like Im drowning in everything, and I want so desperately to able to swim.

I also want to write a book, but I find myself uninspired. I was going to write about my life...but I gave up on that...who would want to read about the memoirs of a nobody?

Haven't you already got a thread the same madam? mmmm...

It's cool, add to one only though, it's confusing...

Um, a Nobody? In who's Opinion? Seeing as everybody needs you including your animals then you are definately a somebody.

Don't give up on your dreams because others are drowning you, you know you won't be there forever, so get writing again and that's an order.

If you don't correct your spine early in life you will be bent over like a hag witch when you are old mmm... that one I would have a test on, sorry but worth it later in life trust me.

And, your clever at school, very attractive and highly intelligent being able to look after a family all by yourself, people get jealous too you know, you don't have to be friends with everyone you meet in life, in fact you won't be.

You will count them on your fingers as life goes on and you will always only be able to do so.

So, go back to once a week, maybe two making yourself that sandwich and nick off into your bedroom and let them feed themselves, so you don't burn the food everyday.

Your brother's life is his... You have enough to think about so shhhh.

And, now go get and write the next page of that book.

CW

I'd read it! Especially with that title, sounds like a book I'd read too!

Thought its horrible, its also nice to see someone else going through a lot of the same things as me! Why should we be the ones to grow up when everyone around us insists on being a child

First off:

GET YOUR A$$ TO THE DOCTOR!!!

Back problems are nothing to put off, it can only get worse. Others be nnned, you need to do this for you! I know too many people who have screwed around and waited with back issues and it never works out well.


Second:

MAYBE YOU ARE JUST A REALLY SHARP PERSON !!!

I know it's frustrating that college seems so easy. BUT, from what you write it seems like it's the only thing that is easy. Until things lighten up in other areas, why make school work harder for yourself?


Third:

TELL THE BULLY TO PI$$ OFF !!!

Then tell the instructor if she's bullying you and interfering with your schooling. If she touches you (not in a good way), call the RCMP and file a complaint.


Fourth:

GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK !!!

It's obvious you are doing the best you can in a very stressful home environment. make more time for yourself away from the house. Too bad if the others don't like it. It's hard enough to save others who dont want saving.

It's harder to save yourself when you wont try.........

XOXOXO

Anthony

thank you guys SO much...yea...I was just so pis*ed that I just...began writing....

would you guys HONESTLY read a book about someones life????

Off course... A lot of people will be able to relate to you, you are not the only one who does all that you do...

Also, if edited correctly, it can be a very touching book about a young girl and her struggles in life. If you write it over a couple of years, there could and should be an interesting ending to it, one where you are in a place for you, how you over-come all those hard times...

That's the aim at the end of the day isn't it? To over come all of this one day in the near future.................

CW

yea...
well, the end of today? I WANT TO CURL UP IN A BALL, AND CRY.
My mom is still sleeping..my sister went to "work" (she got a text from her bed-buddy and had to run), my step-dad is shopping, my younger brother is useless....
someone, PLEASE...stick a fork in me, because I AM DONE....

school is so much easier than my life.

Yeah well... Why do you care what your brother is doing, or that your Mother is sleeping or step father is shopping, or your sister is doing what she shouldn't be doing, because, that means you have the kids right?

Stop coming home so much after school then, make some friends, play basketball in a group anything that means that THEY HAVE TO GET UP, or THEY HAVE TO NOT GO OUT.

Stop creating it by letting them use you.

CW