Chandler, if this doesn't belong here re-post it where it should be ok. thank you LOL

I was wonder a few things recently. This has been a topic of my friends that I hang out with and different things were said as I am sure there will be the same here.
I read alot of forums from a few sites. And most of them are for advice. So question that came to mind was:

Why is it easier to give advice, than take it?

If you really think about it, honestly think of it, most things are just common sence. examples:
You know that stealing is bad and you can get in trouble, so why do some do it?
You know cheating is bad, but again, why do some do it?
The list goes on and on. But for some reason people can give great advice but they wont apply it to them selves.
I answered a post earlier and said what I thought to be right, and this question hit me again. I am sure the person I replied to that particular thread is smart. And if I was the one who posted that thread, that person would have had a thought/advice for me as well. I am not downing that person at all, but a few things that were mention just didn't make sence to me. I had to ask myself why they even made the thread in the first place?

So with all that said, does anyone have an insight on this question? I would like to hear some thoughts on this matter.
I am sure there will be plenty of insight from you all.

JWB, i can't think of any other place that you could post this, all good.

I am the same, I don't know...

I give advice all the time, but do I take it?

Well is it down to wisdom and experience? That we learn from our mistakes?

As a result we know what to look for next time? And, to ensure we have grown?

For instance, I have been on a few dates, since my Marriage... I am a "believer" in honesty.

But, from what I have seen (thankfully) before the event, all were more interested in getting me into bed, nothing more, nothing less, none tried to get to know "CHANDLER" haha silly fools.

I think for the example of "stealing" some people are adventurous, like to "gamble" take a chance, and so they do knowing the outcome but wanting to know if they can get away with it.

Some do it for attention, because they have none and need it.

Cheating? I think again some do it for the attention that they are not getting, the feelings that they so badly need but don't have, regardless of the on-going cries for help that go un-answered and some, just don't give a f.......... at all, it's a game, to be played, "i won't get caught" or so they think " smart" but not... and lose.

Some ask for advice, sure.... They want the replies to be what they "believe" not what the other person has stated, or feels, and if it is what they think, believe, then they continue the thread, if it is advice that seems to be agreed with "against" what they believe, we never hear from them again.

Anon I believe said that to me when I first replying. If you say what they want, they love you if you don't, they go.

So be it.

We can't save the world rather, tell the story, you decide.

Good thread.

JWB.

CW

I think its easier to give advice bcause...we are not emotionaly attached..to the problem.Its easier to see the problems when we can look at it from a 3rd party point of view.
That and as we get older we have had more expierances in life. so more knowledge.

I like your very thought provoking question, Jaydub.

In regards to your question... Why is it easier to give advice, than take it?
I think Lakerat hit the nail on the head...It really is easier to advise problems when detached emotionally.

That’s why smart people do can still do things...Although we know what is best and wisest, we can get truly blinded when we are in the throes of passion, anger, infatuation/lust or grief and don’t always succeed in approaching the situation with a calm head. It is also a true and lovely thing, that as we grow in life we never stop learning so the advice gets better as we get older due to our own hard learnt lessons, but that’s never a guarantee of preventing a mistake from happening again. What it can guarantee is that we learn to recognize the warning signs sooner and get better at avoiding them which is of course the goal after all. That’s why our CW is such a smart cookie! :-)

Now for those who deliberately go against good advice over and over again and yet keep asking for it it...I think some people simply want their own reasons/feelings narcissistically validated and they will keep asking for it until they get it from someone, even when they know that what they are doing is morally wrong, which may be why as Anon stated to CW, "if a person likes what you say, they love you, if not, they leave…"

And then sometimes it all comes down to simple emotional thickness...a person may just really need to learn through painful experience and it wont matter how much advice you give, they will never get it until they have been beaten up by the painful lessons of their own actions/experiences. It is their journey and they simply need to travel it.

I have found in my experience with this issue is that many people who ask for advice may need insight but many just want to vent and not really deal with the issue...

If you really want to face yourself in the mirror and REALLY want to deal with a particular issue. No amount of advice will solve the problem. One must make its own steps and follow a path to solve the problem...

I have a friend who always complains about the same issue over and over and over again. At first, I tried to give her advice but I soon realized it fell on dead ears.

So now... I just listen and keep my mouth shut...

It is ironic in a way... We all know deep down what must be done to deal with our own demons... When we ask questions is it really to solve the problem or just get attention and activate the "poor me syndrome".

I wonder...

With me now, when someone will come to me for genuine advice I always respond before the person goes any further... Translated from French...

If you have to ask, be prepared to receive an honest answer.
With me you will not hear what you WANT to hear...
I will give you my honest opinion.

It also depends on the level of dysfunction of the person asking...
We are all wired differently I guess...

Just an honest opinion...

Yes Anna that’s also true…I actually had one of my best friends call me today. Someone I consider very wise and very strong, who I love dearly. She was talking about an issue she had and I knew as I was listening to her that she just needed me to listen to her, not give any sage advice.

I also told her that I knew she already knew what to do and she laughed and said “I know….”


post edit: I meant to say…. That’s why smart people still do foolish things…

any other thoughts? I think this is interesting...

I often give the advice I need myself...And seeing someone else do it kind of helps me with my problem. If that makes sense? I don't do it intentionally but halfway through what I'm saying I kind of realize it relates to me too!