Cockiness or Confidence

**In-Need** · 01-01-2009 10:51 PM

I tho't of this when I seen a member saying she likes seeing a man walk in a room and seems to take command of the whole place, or something like that, can't remember now but it's close.

Sometimes I feel they go hand in hand, other times they don't, and or is there pride involved in 1 or the other, or both?

**WildChild** · 01-01-2009 11:16 PM

It's all a matter of how it's done. Male or female, I think confidence is an attractant. But it depends on the person. I think if I were male and a woman walked into a room, doing the too cute for words. little girl thing, I'd gag. Men (actually people) who are pushy, domineering and bossy are as much a turn off as those who are completely diffident. But there are people attracted to all of those.

Confidence in part rests in competence. that's why it's a treat to watch someone doing something they are good at. Pride in one's skills and abilities can be well placed but arrogance isn't. When I met the LOML confidence was a huge factor. He has some remarkable skills and accomplishments that he keeps very quiet about but that mastery shows in his bearing and movement.

Now I'm a different story, when I'm "on", it's confidence but it comes from a simmering joy and bouyancy. When I'm happy I opporate under the assumption everyone else is or will be happy after I get done smiling at them. Doesn't require much thought, just a state of being. I'm finding that spot more lately.

But getting back to men...one who knows when to take charge and can keep appropriate limits on that, is a turn on.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-02-2009 02:29 AM

cockiness is: Insecurity

confidence is: secure in one's self....

End of story.

CW

**Livelaughlove** · 01-02-2009 06:51 AM

Cockiness or Confidence

**cough cough** You rang..

Its all in attitude..

"Cocky" is arrogant, over-assertive, and confrontational. It is something you must demonstrate.

"Confident" is self-comfortable, relaxed, and grounded. It is something you RADIATE.

However, with cockiness it can be neutralized with humor... Which is the reason I try to make people laugh if Im going to say something "Cocky"

Got it

**Little** · 01-02-2009 09:48 AM

I dig cockiness. All the boyfriends I've had (who lasted any respectable amount of time) have been cocky. All my friends are cocky jerks at first glance. And you all know me

Cockiness is a mode of behavior, and there's a big difference between someone who's cocky and confident versus someone who is cocky without. And then there's confidence without cockiness, which I don't find attractive at all. Sorry, guys

Someone who's cocky but doesn't have confidence is putting up a front, and they'll be found out pretty directly. But someone who's cocky with confidence is fun.
For me, part of the "mating ritual" is ensuring that the male I'm after is my equal (or better!) So a guy demonstrating the qualities of someone in charge is going to catch my eye much faster than someone sitting back just chilling. Has this gotten me into some self-destructive relationships? Ohhh yes. But that's what I find attractive, for reasons I've analyzed. The boyfriend and I make it work.

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 01-02-2009 02:50 PM

I get called both.

All I know is if I wasn't either I'd be less attractive.

A few girls I've known have thought that I acted like an overly assertive arsehole sometimes, but then told other people I know that they actually found it really attractive....

So, whatever.

**sourpuss** · 01-02-2009 02:59 PM

CW and Livelaughlove got it.

**Livelaughlove** · 01-02-2009 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

I get called both.

All I know is if I wasn't either I'd be less attractive.

A few girls I've known have thought that I acted like an overly assertive arsehole sometimes, but then told other people I know that they actually found it really attractive....

So, whatever.

That's probably because they found you attractive and you didn't demonstrate any sense of vulnerability.

there is a difference between telling a girl "Stop starring at my sexy body" and "Stop looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheese burger"

One just cocky

The other is cocky and funny

Confidence would be "You like what you see" a statement not a question. Then give her a compliment.

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