want mans point of view
Hi, this is the first time I have bloged and I hope someone can give me a little insite cuz I am clueless. I was looking at my husbands messages and jokes on his cell phone, when I came accross some text messages that got me wondering what the!!!!! They were Why are you mad at me sweetheart. and please tell me what I can do to make you not mad at me sweetheart, and good night goodlooking sweetheart, and last but not least are you and your ya still in bed or did you die on me. Well of course I instantly got mad and demanded he tell me what was going on , he says nothing its work stuff. Now I am not that stupid to believe this, he is a truck driver and she works in parts,so I called the number and it was this girl from his work. She tells me that nothing is going on, they are just friends, ya what ever!!! She also stated I didn't realize it was going that far, we never did anything. Well I don't think I call that not doing anything!I have been married for almost 35 yeaRS AND HE HAS BEEN UNFAITHFUL BEFORE, AND HIS RESPONSE THEN WAS ITS NOTHING. tHIS GIRL IS 21 YEARS YOUNGER THAN MY HUSBAND. Opps sorry about the caps!!! I am so hurt again, some of the jokes she sent him and he sent her was porn. I have seen them together before and I don't know if any of you other gals can agree with me but you just know if they have a thing just the way they look at each other and laugh at what what the other one is saying, it was pretty uncomgortable for me. My husband has always been a flurt and has always expected me to just sit in the back ground. When we go to parties he is always visiting with the gals not the guys. Am I reading too much into this or was it just joking around as he put it. I am so hurt agin, I just think after all these years there would be more respect. Please let me know your view.
first off, you should not have been going through his cell phone. that was just wrong.
as far as for the texts and messages, it may be something or it may not. i have a few female friends that joke with me in a similar manner and it means nothing.
and just because the "click", doesnt mean that they are actually doing anything. Now they may both feel like they would if things were different, but it's all a guess.
Ya I know it was wrong and I don't feel right about going through his phone, he always shares his jokes with me and I never thought I would find anything else. Your right it is anyones guess, I just have a problem with all jthe junk from the past. I got married at 16 and feel we should be past this by now, I just know that there is so many double standards, if I were to be doing what he was doing it would not have been ok. I thank you for your view, I just need to get over all the !!! I have alot of trust issues and I guess a pretty low self esteem, just who I am, I am trying to work on it. Life is too short Right!!!!
we all have our demons.
you will be ok !
I want to know what does it take to get close to your husband so he doesn't feel the need to flurt or want another women or is this impossible. I just don't understand why there is such a need I am very attentive and do what he wants, I have a great job so I could go on my own but I really do love him.
If any of you gals have some input on this, I would really love to hear from you!!!!
Wish I could change your heading, then some females may respond, lol.. However, as I have, let's see if they do..
Jealousy is difficult.. If you have been married for 35 years, that should tell you something...
Low self esteeme runs you into circles and makes you think the worse.
Flirting is natural and shouldn't be taken out of context. In addition, he does it openly in front of you at parties, and shares the jokes.. He's a truckie, he's on the road all the time, meeting all walks of life, and male and female... It's his way.
How do you make him not flirt? You can't but what you can do is make him flirt with you just as much as everyone else... You firstly need to laugh when he does it when you are at parties, (knowing that he has been with you 35 years) and is yours.. You need to get out there and get your hair cut/coloured and buy a new dress, and put some lipstick on, start walking and feeling alive.
Let him see what he married and bring the inner child back out of yourself, be cheeky and cute and sexy and alive... be confident... let him see what he has, he will soon flirt with you as well at parties as he sees your confidence and smiles at innocent flirting.
This girl is 21years younger, do you think she wants a 50 year old man? She is flirting back, it's all fun and they get on well, he's probably more like a father image of what she wished that she had, open to communication and laughter...
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Hi thanks for responding, I am going to take your advice and try get his attention again, I know he really loves me and I know alot of this is my insecurities so I need to get over it.
You have given me alot of good advice, this site is really agreat idea. Thanks alot, let you know how this goes. rj
My Dad is 68 and still flirts but in all of his 50 years, he has never strayed from my Mother.
He is somewhat nieve though, like the time he was on a plane on business and an air-hostess flirted with him, he thought it was just talk/flirting but she was making a play for him to attend her Hotel Room, when that was explained to him, after he was telling the story, you could have dropped a bomb, his face was priceless, he had no idea...lol...
He just likes flirting with the ladies, my Mum knows it's innocent but it took her a while to understand that so your no orphan..
But, yes, your hubby works long hours, away days at a time, be nice to go back some years and shock the living daylights out of him when he gets home, gives him something to think about too whilst driving off again, over and over and over...
Let us know.
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
I'm a guy. I flirt - but it is just in fun. Just a nice way to pass the time making someone feel attractive / wanted, and getting the same in return. If I sense the other person is getting serious, I'll stop.
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