Rape (Not sure where to post this)
Saturday I went to my brother's house for a party he was throwing.
My brother's girlfriend's uncle raped me two years ago at a party he had.
The uncle was there on Saturday.
He semi confronted me.
I tried to walk away and he followed me everywhere.
He asked if I had a boyfriend.
He asked what I wanted in a boyfriend.
He said he made a mistake.
He said that was the past.
First time he ever acknowledged what had happened.
I don't know how I feel.
He makes me sick.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
Honey...Im very sorry this happened to you.
did he apologize for his actions that night at the party?
I was raped/molested for years...by my step-brother...I've never gotten an apology...he got away with it alll.
I would confront him...if he wants to talk about it, let him hear about it...and what kind of pain he put you through. After that, you will feel heeps better, and the healing process can REALLY begin.
We're all here for you, and we all love you.
Sounds like he wants you to act like it's all OK. Of course it isn't, he can't make it allright for you and there is no reason why you should make it allright for him. This is a tough thing to deal with - I know - been there. Personally I would avoid a confrontation, if he applologises you don't have to say its ok, you can simply acknowledge that you have heard him. After I was gang raped, several of the guys involved appologised within a couple days and that did help me let go of some of it more easily.
You do have to let go of it. Otherwise you are carrying it around and revictimizing yourself. At some point in the process you will need to forgive him - not for him but for you. That will help you let go of it and heal. Doesn't mean what he did is ok but that you are handing it back to him so to speak.
Do avoid ever being alone with this man. Asking about things like your bf is out of line from him. Take care of your self.
I know your not asking for questions here, but i assume your brother didn't know this occured or else he wouldn't have allowed this man to be at the party and also invited you.
You know the "past" is what has haunted you and you don't need to to re-surface unless you can put closure to it, as that's the main aim and goal.
Perhaps this happening is a way for you to now deal with him finally and have closure.
I would bring this up to your councellor and if your brother doesn't know then i would personally discuss this because you do not want to have to deal with this sort of thing again, if he wants this man at a party, then he knows not to invite you, or if he's a brother, then rightly he would invite you and not him.
Knowing and being able to make your own decisions in life is certainly better than not knowing and then getting a complete suprise... that's not fair.
Keep smiling sweet.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
No, he did not say that he was sorry the night of the party. He never officially apologized to me. He told his sister that he was sorry but I've never recieved an apology.
On Memorial Day I went over here and he was there again. (Turns out it was his 50th birthday) I wasn't going to stay but Teonna (my brother's girlfriend asked me to) Before I could answer her uncle said, "Come on Lindsay, stay. It's not like you have anything else to do) I ended up staying but not because of him but because Teonna really wanted me to.
They were playing this game called "Bags" and I wanted to play. I ended up having to stand right next to him. It was different this time. I wonder if I am finally over it and have let it go. I felt comfortable for once.
I guess I kind of look at it like... This happened in December 2007. Why still let it bother me? I can't change what happened so just let it go and be congenial. I will have to deal with this person for the rest of his or my life because of my brother. I don't want things to be hard on my brother. That's the biggest reason that I didn't do anything about it when it happened. I don't want my brother's life to be harder because of me.
Anyways... I just thought that I would update this since after I posted I decided not to respond.
Thank you all for your comments. You're wonderful and helpful to me.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
my femine side (i really did not know i had one) say men can be such jerks!!
a smart man learns from his mistakes..a wise man learns from the mistakes of others..
By the age of 40 over 25% of women are estimated to have been raped at some point prior to that. The vast majority of rapes are unreported. When I chose to start talking about my experience just to let other women know that they could speak I was surprised that some women I had known for decades had been raped and never told anyone.
Wow... I didn't know that. Thank you for the statistic. (Though I want to make sure to say that I don't look at us as statistics) I've been raped 4 times since the age of 16. When I was 5 I was molested by a female. I've been sexually assaulted without being raped a couple of times. (That's a story all on it's own) Until recently, I've never talked about this. The doctor I saw after the 2007 rape told me she would have a counselor contact me but she never did. I think I'm alright though. Sometimes I have my days but I get through them and most of the time healthily.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
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