Eye contact in general and during intimacy...

**Hopeless Dork** · 05-24-2009 02:15 AM

I think I have always struggled looking people in the eyes, from a kid right up until now, If I lock eyes, male, female, friend, family member I immediatly start feeling a bit uncomfortable. Mostly unsure of how long its appropriate to look someone in the eye... once you are engaged in the eye lock, when can you let go without seeming rude.. distinterested etc.

I am a shy person, thats probably my problem. When I met my boyfriend one of the first times I believed he might actually be interested in me.. (this was before he actually asked me) he lowered his sunglasses, which I was fine looking up at.. and looked me in the eyes and it just connected with me... I was like is he flirting??? lol.. I held it for as long as I could probably blushing like crazy.

Even now, after all the months we've been together I will turn away from his gaze in regular conversation sometimes, sometimes I hold it and it still probably makes me blush.

Now for intimate moments... when we are having sex and I look up and he's looking at my face, eyes open it melts my heart and I look back into his eyes for a few moments then bury my head in his chest.

I always here people in porn talking about girls looking up during fellatio and giving the guy eye contact... and I am not sure about that one. I keep my eyes open usually, watching the job at hand, Ive peeked up occasionally to see him looking down at me sometimes and I will catch his eye for just a moment then back down my eyes go... sometimes i look up and his are closed and I will watch him but its usually only for a second then he is back looking at me and I hurry my eyes away.

I am curious how you all feel about eye contact with people you meet... do you think less of people that don't look you in the eye when they talk, what does that make you feel like? Do you feel uncomfortable if someone won't break a stare... and especially how does eye contact during intimacy make you feel, are you comfortable giving it? And if you practice oral sex on your SO do you do the whole porn star looking up giving eye contact thing... do guys even want that, I would imagine it would feel weird lol. I dont know!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-24-2009 02:28 AM

Very good thread HD.

If someone can't look me in the eye for business purposes, I don't trust them.

If a man tilted his sunglasses and looked at me? I would think he is totally confident and it would scare the out of me, as I would think, player, however, i would think flirt and i would smile, look back hold, and then look away so like, catch me if you can...

Attitude.

If someone won't break the stare I think of the Devil, hahaha, seriously, like controlling, scare the out of me.

As for in bed, like you, whilst i have let go of all my inhibitions, i have to be with a man whom allows me to feel that as well and well, to date, i did that by myself and well my man is soooo far away and time has not allowed me to establish if i would but I think personally? I would stare into his eyes and meet his soul and not look away...

That is what I believe.

But, that comes with feeling in love, trust, no inhibitions and well no inhibitions, I can do that.

CW

**ItsASecret** · 05-24-2009 09:48 AM

I am definitely a person who is uncomfortable with looking a person in the eyes but thats just how I have always been. I turn my head away because I always think that if someone is staring into my eyes they will divert their gaze after a second and look for things to stare at on my face which makes me very very uncomfortable. When it comes to business I try my best to make eye contact out of respect but my mind does often tell me to look away because of my routine with other people. With my boyfriend I totally avoid eye contact during sex or any sexual act. We do things with a small amount of light in the room (usually a bit of the laptop light) but I have told him that my nature is to be extremely uncomfortable with eye contact so he will never see me looking up at him during oral or while he is down on me. I'm his girlfriend, not his porn star

**WildChild** · 05-24-2009 03:27 PM

I'm fine with making brief eye contact. To hold it creates an entirely different message. I enjoy making eye contact with the LOML during sex or anytime but I don't make prolonged eye contact with other men. A lot of it depends on context, looking someone in the eyes can convey sympathy or empathy but it can also be flirty or agressive, you know, staring them down?
Ever noticed how sexy it is, for example in the movie, Dirty Dancing, when they are dancing while gazing into each other's eyes?

**ThexMrs** · 05-24-2009 09:05 PM

I still feel very uncomfortable during sex so when being intimate I have to force myself to look that person in the eye but it doesn't last long. I remember when I was MUCH younger, my boyfriend asked me to look up at him while I would give him a blow job. I said no, cover your head with a pillow. Yes, that's right. I asked him to cover his head with a pillow so that he couldn't see me. Eventually, this changed. I got to be much more comfortable with him. With my last boyfriend, I was very nervous about being intimate and I went back to my younger years. He wanted me to be on top while having sex and I said, okay... Just cover your eyes until I'm ready and comfortable. Needless to say, he did it but it didn't go well. We just switched spots. As for when I go out. If a guy is looking at me I will lock eyes with him and give him a little smile. When he smiles back I might turn away to act a little disinterested or if I really like the guy, I won't look away. Either way, they always come up to me. Last night I met a guy, very cool, very good looking. He actually knew someone I had met there previously so it was nice to have something in common or someone rather. He locked eyes with me and it was INTENSE! He wouldn't look away so I neither did I. It lasted a long time and after that I was just taken with him. It turned into a GREAT night... NO, I did NOT sleep with him. Anyways, that's my two cents.

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