I did'nt do anything. In all reality he is wrong. I hope you would'nt agree with some random guy on the street cos they don't know me either.Originally Posted by ThexMrs
Never mind. I should have never said anything . I don't mean to vent so much.. everyone else does tho.
No, no, no. You said "some guy" but it didn't sound like someone off of the street. I don't know why some random person would say that. It makes no sense. That's the world I guess.
Don't worry about venting. That's totally cool.
I was just curious about the situation, that's all.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
I'm super pissed off because someone left me a message that I don't understand and then decided not to talk to me. It makes no sense! What could you possibly have to say that you would regret? And why? What the eff did I do? I have no idea. I think it's so bullsh** that you think it's okay to leave me that kind of a message and not talk to me about what's going on!
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
lol Is that pertaining what I said??? You did'nt do anything. I don't regret saying about what happened to me today. I was walking home today and some miserly drunk bum on the sidewalk said something to me because I ignored him..living in SF there's alot of bad parts to avoid. Some people are just not very nice and it's not the first time that's happened to me.Reason why I carry pepperspray. Sorry I don't mean to make you mad. I hope you understand now.
No, that wasn't for you Izzy. No worries. You and I are great.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
"To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shi* through each others eyes"
I wish this was possible. Someone needs to feel my pain. (Not to be hurt) just to understand. I feel so empty right now. I don't even know why I get out of bed some days. The truth is, I'm starting to feel like I may be back-tracking. My old ways are coming back into play. Like right now what do you think is appealing to me? What do I always go to? Xanax and men. Why? Easy to attain I suppose. Easier than to have to deal with what I have going on. It's really rather sad. I had sex last night and it's not enough. *shakes head* I'm a massive mess. I'm going to call the counselor again tomorrow. I need help.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
I so feel for you Isabella. A similar thing happened to me the first time I was in Seattle (and this was just down the pier from the aquarium no less).
I felt like having a sundae at McD's (yeah blaa but I felt like it) and walked past these two guys who said something like "can you spare" and I said I didn't have any extra money and they yelled at me saying "We want YOU not money" then they started following me. Fortunately McD's was just nearby and as it happens there was bicycle officer in there and I went to him and told him and when we turned back the guys had disappeared.
I've also heard about "The Tenderloin" part of SF and was told never to go there alone and avoid it if at all possible.
Sorry again to hear you had a bad experience.
Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
-Lord Buddha
There's a "Critical Incident Response" meeting in an hour that is mandatory for everyone who works in my building. Normally I would think it's a good idea, but people who have already gone to it tell me it's us sitting there for an hour while someone tells us how to evacuate the building if there's a fire or something. And how to use a fire extinguisher, etc. Um, I'm pretty sure I learned all this in 2nd grade.
Basically, I'm really flattered that this company thinks we're all idiots who can't handle ourselves in the event of a crisis. If I hear anyone even mutter the words "swine flu" they're getting a punch. Closed fist from yours truly
I've got to be direct
If I'm off please correct
You're standing on my neck....
Oh crp - I just laughed so hard. That was funny!If I hear anyone even mutter the words "swine flu" they're getting a punch. Closed fist from yours truly
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
I hate to say anything else because I don't want to be looked at as a downer but I'm having a hard time still today. I thought that I would feel better after a good nights sleep but I didn't acheive that. I took two Xanax last night and didn't fall asleep until after 4 this morning.
I was looking at my old threads (that I started) last night and found ones about Marty and what he did to me. I thought that wound was completely healed but I burst into tears after reading it. I don't know if that means it's still an open wound or just that reliving caused me to cry. Is that the same thing?
I turned my phone of knowing that he would text and call today. When I turned my phone back on I had 4 texts and 1 missed call from him. I just called him back knowing he wouldn't answer because he was having dinner at his sisters. I left a voicemail saying that he could call if he wanted to after dinner or that he could just wait until we talk at our normal time. We'll see what he decides. He knew I was having a tough time last night and tried to make it better but he didn't and that's a first. He always makes everything better. I'm just really low.
I feel so much guilt and hurt and I'm afraid that I'm going to hurt someone else (Jared) and that's the last thing that I want to do. I don't want to let him go though. When we're together it feels so right. When Jared and I are together I don't even think about Marty. As soon as he leaves though... What do I do? I call or text Marty.
I wanted to cut so badly last night and I almost did but I chose not to. I thought about going to the liquor store today but I didn't do that either. I'm really trying not to back track. Ilya wants to hang out tonight and I said I would but I'm thinking that I shouldn't. Not when I feel this low. I know I'll do something stupid.
Alright, I've said enough. I just needed to get that out.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
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