Thread: To the Guys only - if you don't mind :)

how long has he been giving you this stank attitude? from day one? it's hard, you know, to fall in love with someone after you've been engaged or married or whatever. maybe it's something you just need to sit down and talk to him about. tell him you're not saying he can't have his lonewolf-ness, but ask him why it's necessary. you know? because you want to better understand what's going on in his brain, and i'm sure he would at least appreciate your honesty and openness even if he doesn't himself know why he's always running off to be alone.

nah, not from day one, but since we have got so close and sort of built up a connection, its like he has to keep his exits open, one of the things thats good about him, is that he is so self sufficient, my ex always needed me, to fix up his screwups. i like to be wanted not taken for granted.

he's probably just scared of getting hurt again. it's a viscious circle, you know...him being afraid you're going to leave and therefore keeping an exit...you saying you won't but getting so fed up with his exits that you consider leaving....it could just be a time issue. or maybe he should talk to someone, like a counselor? that helps sometimes. =)

i always thought (until very recently) that the scared of being hurt line, was just an excuse men gave as to why they didnt want to commit. but thanks to CW and others (you know who you are) i can see i will have to factor it in. BUT he says he trusts me completely and i have never done anything against that, so why is his baggage creeping in now, when we are getting so close and connected???

Originally Posted by happy ending

why is his baggage creeping in now, when we are getting so close and connected???

You just answered your own question.

^^yes.

a lot of people hold in their baggage until they really start to get close to someone. actually, it might be a GOOD thing because it means he trusts you. he might trust you too much (in his mind) and it scares him. he probably just has to warm up to the idea that you aren't going anywhere. support him and let him know you love him either way =)

It's also a good sign that he had the idea to buy a house.