CHANDLERS WISH

Do you believe that your up-bringing constitutes how you think, sexually.

There seems to be mixed thoughts regarding "sex" in all it's intimacy......

I was reading something quite contraversual where, a 40 year old lady decided to have a 3 some... She regreted it after, but only because she "thought" that the guy that suggested it was a "friend" she was "drunk" and they treated her like meat... 1 and a half years later, her "now" boyfriend and her were sitting at a Pub and those two guys walked in...turned out that the "friend" knew her boyfriend from High School. And, had been friends ever since. Remembering they are in their 40's.

They hinted of what happened and so instead of discussing it with her now boyfriend, she pondered. Her now boyfriend, and her went back to the same pub a week later. She feared they would be there, still did not talk to her boyfriend about the situation and yes, not only were they there but they stated what happened. And, it turns out that they had told him 1 and a half years ago but off course, didn't mention names, just exactly what happened, every detail.

So, this guy, sees the picture all over again, only realises all that time, it was her they were talking about.

What came out of this, was naturally, she should have told him before the second time they entered the pub, as she established they were friends and she should have had better judgement at experimenting with her fantasy with people she didn't know and not in her town.

However, what also came out of it was the MMF - and "pig-roasting" discust etc, etc, from the men, yet MFF, not a problem..

Why is it that a grown woman is a .... yet, MFF is perfectly okay, or FF is perfectly okay to the majority of men.

What's your thoughts?

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WildChild

Good old double standard. There is still a sense that it is OK to put a woman down for any type of sexual activity but that from a man it is essentially OK. We still have the nonsensical idea that men have this higher level, somewhat uncontrollable sexual urge that proves their maleness but women who have a real interest in sex or do some exploring are ho's. It's embeded in our language and cultural expectations.

Until we women start respecting ourselves and our sexuality and insisting other respect it as well, it won't change. Women and men who confuse overty sexual behavior with being sexually responsive people need to understand the difference. I went to the Sex Fair last weekend and saw a lot of overtly sexual behavior but it was apparent listening to conversation, that there were a lot of non-orgasmic women there. That was sad.

It's unfortunate that the lady you read about got drunk and was used that way. It sounds like she confused overt behavior with being adverturesome. Her best tack would probably be to refuse to justify or explain. She did it for her own reasons and it's no one else's business.

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