Thread: boyfriend doesn't turn me on

Just starting to think about Monday evening. I'm going with friends to a restaurant that the only time I was there before was with my ex. And it is actually the first time I have been in that area since that day with him. I know I need to start making new memories but I also know that it won't be easy. I could skip it but it is the only real plans I have next week so I want to go to get out of the house. And like I said before, I need to make new memories. I can't avoid this area for forever.

I remember that day. After lunch we went for a walk. It was a sunny, hot day and I was happy. The both of us were. That turned out to be the day that I told my ex that I was practically a virgin. He took it quite well. He also didn't have a clue on how much I had no idea of when it came to sex. Neither did I. We, unfortunately, figured that out the hard way.

Monday, I have to find some way to get through this. As much as I would love to, I can't keep running. I just know it is going to hurt like he**!!

Originally Posted by Tex

Haha, how about Ceiling Taz? No, maybe not, that'd be kinda creepy!

I'll stick with ceiling cat. Ceiling Taz does sound a little creapy. lol

Spent the day on doing job hunting related things. Ran into a snag that made something that should have been simple into a headache. Wasted a lot of time but got it finished thankfully. Still have a lot to do though.

Haven't been in the mood today to try anything sexually.

I canceled my plans for the hockey game at Fenway on Saturday. I'm just not in the mood to freeze my butt off watching hockey. And then there is the ride to Fenway,the fortune for parking, I said forget it. If that had been a Patriot game, I would have been quite willing to freeze my butt off for that. Never gone to one but would love to some day.

Have finally made plans to see the Harry Potter exhibit with friends. I'm dying to see that!!

I just love that picture of the kitty. Not because of the idea of it all, even though it is funny, but because that cat is so cute!!!!

Originally Posted by Tex

How are ya feeling now, Amber? Better, I hope.

I'm ok, I guess. I have been busy with job hunting related things lately. I haven't been in the mood for anything sexual lately.

I survived last night. It had it ups and down throughout the evening. I think the buzz I was feeling from the drink helped some. It also helped that we were not in the same part of the restaurant that I had sat last time with my ex. I really wanted to cringe when someone brought up jobs and as so happened two of the people at the table have the same job as my ex. They had a long conversation about it and it made it impossible not to think about him.

You know, it is pretty bad but I think this is the first time in about 15 years that I don't give a dam what I do on New Years Eve. When I was ballroom dancing, I was out dancing somewhere. When I was forced to stop dancing, I was out with my parents, wishing I was out with my dancing friends. Last year, I was wishing I was with the new single friends I had just met but I had just had a cortizone shot in my foot and dancing was out of the question.

This year my knee is acting up and dancing is still out of the question. Everyone is going to a party that has one form of dancing or another in it. I still can't do it because even though taking the screws out of my knee helped the pain some when I walk, I'm still getting pain standing in one spot. So club dancing is still out of the question. I see the doctor again next month. I pray it is something that can heal.

But I don't even give a dam. Don't get my wrong, though. When it gets close to midnight, I will definitely be thinking even more than usual how much life s*cks and all but I don't even care what I do this year. I guess when one thing or another happens to you, other things just seem trivial.

Just finished reading Like Water for Chocolate. What a strange ending!! But I guess I shouldn't be too surprised by it.