Thread: boyfriend doesn't turn me on

Ok, I finally got out of him what is bothering him. Yep, as I expected, he is bothered that I don't feel anything when he kisses me. He thinks he will never be able to satisfy me because I fell nothing when we kiss. it is that chemistry thing. He thinks if I don't get fireworks when he kisses me on the lips, then we don't have chemistry and if we don't chemistry, then he will never be able to please me.

I think this is pathetic for plenty of reasons. For one thing when he kisses me, he feels plenty. So he is getting the chemistry on his side. As for pleasing me, I'll kiss him if that makes him happy. But there are other ways he can please me. There are so many places on my body that are sensitive. He touches me and I shiver. I think the only place I'm not sensitive is my lips and my nipples. He can touch under my breast and I shiver, he can touch my arm pit and I shiver. He touches me feet, my arms, my legs, and close to my vagina and I shiver. I love it when he kisses my neck. And I know there is something happening when he touches my vagina. i just have been fighting it because I can't relax. So I believe he can please me quite well but because the kissing on the lips doesn't turn me on, we have nothing. I tried to tell him that there are things that a woman does to please a man and there are things that a man does to please a woman. I can easily kiss him to please him and whatever else he likes and he can touch me all over to please me. I don't see the problem. My therapist said there is a good chance that I will be able to feel kissing but I can't guarantee him this.

I can't believe it because we have plenty of the same interest, and we can keep each other laughing all day long. We get along great, and he is kind, smart, sweet, and usually very patient. But this is the breaking point for him.

Ok, I know some of you think that the kissing equal chemistry rule. Is there anyone who sees my point?

I can sort of relate to things mentioned here. When I kiss my boyfriend I do feel something and I do get tingles but it does not happen often nor does it last that long. Touching myself results in nothing, only way I can describe it is I know that I am being touched because I can feel it but as for any build up of feel good feelings there is nothing. I was not raised in a 'do not touch there' environment so I have no problems touching I just get zero satisfaction from it. To me I just say "what is the point of doing it if I feel nothing but a touch, no tingles no jingles".

ItsASecret, I desperately need your help. You say you feel it sometimes but not often. How does you boyfriend take this? Does he believe you two don't have chemistry? Is there anything you can tell me that might help my boyfriend that it is ok?

I know I can't force him to want this and if he wants to end this, I will have no choice but to do so. But I just think it is crazy because he is afraid that I won't be pleased when I'm fine with what i can feel. He wants to meet with me tomorrow afternoon somewhere outside. Why, who on earth know why, besides break up with me, which he did mention tonight. If he thinks he is going to give me one more chance with the kiss, he is insane. I'm going to be so nervous tomorrow, ten times worse than usual.