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ItsASecret, has your boyfriend ever told you his feelings on you not being able to always feel his kiss? What does he think about all the chemistry bit?
I am afraid I cannot provide anymore information than has already been presented. Your mental factor on the situation should be taken into account when he does talk to you. He needs to understand that this does mean a lot to you, and that you are not wanting to just give up. Try not to focus on past comments, they will only hinder further progression if you do not appreciate that those were one time occurrences.
My personal case, I love my boyfriend with all my heart. Sometimes there is sparks when we kiss, sparks for a bit then they dwindle, and other times it only feels like skin on skin contact no special feeling. I try to avoid negative reinforcement when there are no sparky feelings (ex. "no sparks must mean there is no chemistry so there is no need to try" - that is completely untrue and that path should not be followed). I avoid the negatives by simply telling myself that at some point I know that I will feel something when we kiss on another day. I cannot predict when but to me, just saying that at least I know it will happen again is reassurance enough to keep me optimistic. May not be the best approach but it works for me.
There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.
ItsASecret, has your boyfriend ever told you his feelings on you not being able to always feel his kiss? What does he think about all the chemistry bit?
He is just like your boyfriend, fireworks at any time. I have told him that just because I do not feel sparks during any random kiss does not mean I do not love him. I have told him that it takes me longer to get aroused or feel tinglies than he would think. That is what seems to make him understand. He says that he knows people will react in different ways and will not get angry if things are not automatic. He also says that as long as I still feel in love with him, and still get aroused in other ways that he feels a lot better. I completely reassure him that I do get aroused, even if it does take longer than usual...but he says he is alright with that as long as it is still happening and not completely obsolete. He is just a very patient man, which I am truly thankful for.
There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.
ItsASecret, you are very luck to have him. I wish my boyfriend was as understanding as he is.
Well he just emailed me asking if I can meet him at the Dunkin Donuts up from the street from me at 5pm. Since we didn't think it was a good idea to go into any restaurant, I'm finding this a strange location. There is only a parking lot there. But it also give me the idea that he is probably going to just hand me a few things that I left at his place and then say good bye with very little or not talk at all. He makes me sick. He obviously had no feeling for me. He just disgust me!!
Hold your horses, now, miss Amber....he was honest with you. That is a start.Originally Posted by Amber
I too, would have a hard time dealing with a female in your position as well.
Guiding an anorgasmic woman can be tough.
I think it's pretty normal that an individual would want a sexually compatible partner. One glance at the plethora of sex problems posted on this site will show you that differences in sex put tremendous strain on a relationship.I can't believe it because we have plenty of the same interest, and we can keep each other laughing all day long. We get along great, and he is kind, smart, sweet, and usually very patient. But this is the breaking point for him.
Yes kissing and chemistry go hand in hand- I don't kiss just anyone. But most anyone is allowed to give me a BJ. Hope that isn't too blunt.
Don't put the cart in front of the horses. All you know at this point is that he wants to meet. Granted Dunkin Donuts might not be the best place to tell you he wants to stay with you and help you, but there also ain't no reason to get upset until you know for certain -- not think you know but actually hear it from him -- that he's breaking it off.
oh, it isn't too blunt. You are just telling me from a guys point of view what you think. Personally, I still think it is insane but there says nothing that we have to agree.
But all I know is he is gone and by 5pm, it will be complete. But since he is always late, lets say 515pm. His being late use to be a joke we had but not anymore. There are so many little things that we shared that are going to hurt for a while when I think about them. But I'll truely get over him one of these days. The only hard thing is it is quite possible that we will still run into each other.
Tex I hope you are right but I'm so afraid that you are not. But I do promise that I won't say anything until he says it first. I'll let him make the first move.
Well you sure have a good attitude going into things.
I'm sure you know that that goes a LONG way in life.
Good luck with your sexual exploration. Some things we have to experience ourselves firsthand, before we enjoy it and share it with others.
Just a little advice....when you get your toys, don't become too reliant. Use them as a teaching tool, not as a crutch.
Best of luck to you.
Thanks OhThereYouAre!
My very first toy just came.
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