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Think I'd be moving on. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't love you? Why would you live them, other than as roommates?
What does it all mean he said he DOESN'T "love me" NOR is he "in love" with me..?
I am 43 and my boyfriend is 43, we have two mariages under our belts. We have been dating for 6 months. He has mentioned a couple of times about me moving in, and has even asked when my lease was up. This is all very cool, especiall since I spend most of my time at his house anyways. This past weekend we had a lil spat and he told me that "he doesn't love me" nor is he in love with me. This has left me scratching my head. Now I'm really confused. I am new to this dating stuff and didn't have to deal with anything like this with any of my other relationships.
Maybe I need some education as to what this all means. I can honestly say I love him and would consider moving in. Is there a new definition to love, am I missing something? I'm not sure what I should do, do I hang in there and give him time or do I move on.
Think I'd be moving on. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't love you? Why would you live them, other than as roommates?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
If he told you he doesn't love you, isn't in love with you... ask yourself if he acts like it. Does he tell you he doesn't love you often? Or was it said in the heat of the moment in an argument? When the latter happens it can be truth coming out, or something said in haste to put sting to their words.
But either way. You mention being same age , check, dating 6 months , check ready to move in , check. But make no mention of how he treats you other than saying he doesn't love you.
So its hard to understand what you mean by the fact you are confused by his words or wondering if there is a different definition of love. I am pretty sure there isn't, I am pretty sure theres just those 2 typical definitions. Love/ in Love. The love you love a family member/friend/pets with and the love you love your lover with (which is usually both kinds of love)
But yet and still while there is those 2 kinds of love what they mean to individuals, how it makes them feel and how they express it varies greatly person to person.
What are some of the things he does that make you FEEL loved, beyond the words. And what happened preceeding him telling you he didn't love you?
Understanding that would be a great help in offering advice
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
So he's capable of saying harsh things when he's angry.
Most people are.
It's how he acts that will let you know your answer.....
How does he treat you, how does he treat others, especially his friends and family? Is he honest? Is he lazy? Does he have a generally positive attitude?
Ask yourself those questions.
If you can answer any of those questions with the negative, I'd think hard about moving in with him, and even harder about leaving him.
You're a 43 year old adult. You should be able to spot people of good character. The trick is actually summoning the strength to act on what you already know.
If he isn't a good man, you shouldn't be wasting the second half of your young life with him.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
I agree with OTYA. Additionally, if you are having problems within six months of meeting him, not a good sign.
i dont see what the issue is. sounds like he wants a live in sex object/housekeeper. tell him to put an add in the help wanted section of the paper. meanwhile dont waste your time on this man, move on NOT in!
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