NO pretzel this isnt what i want he is justa very difficult man and he ALWAYS THINKS HES RIGHT. exp..... 3 years ago we went to pizza hut He was driving and as always hwe and i were talking and he backed into a pole. HE BLAMED IT ON ME AND TOLD ME AND THE BOYS TO SHUT UP WE ARE distracting him. he said it was our fault 2 meeks later he said sorry fro yelling... yelling... the other day our argument .. again i was wrong as always i was dumb stupid i dont thnhk blah blah blah but when he told teh story to his guy at work. he called me up and said sorry i was right....... his friend told him he was wrong and i was doing the right thing and so my hubby felt bad and called me up to say sorry. so hes very guarded and he has to be right. dont get me wrong hes a brilliant man by far extremely smart to smart for his own good but hes not to smart on me or feelings. and it makes me sad. im and easy person to be nice to . i trust easy and love hard. he isnt so the samebut im trying. he use to be ok about it until i found out that was only a cover up fro what he was secretly doing. adn tehn it changed when i confonted the prob. so idk your a man how can i have himn open up. not be so harsh and call names. im not a dumb girl. i just liek to do the right thing and not alot of people do . so thats why im always introuble
Lizzy, I may have missed it in an earlier post, how old are you? And how old are your kids?
Do you work outside the home?
Have you considered doing anything like furthering your education?
I wonder if this would give you more of a voice, more credit, not only with your husband but with yourself?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Your husband seems to put you down whenever. Did he use to be that way? I believe he didn't. What have changed? Does he often here you blaming yourself for small mistakes? Are you often the first one to apologize even if it was not your mistake?
It's about time to claim that respect, dear. I know you love each other, but love also equates respect. And sometimes, if you just let anyone, even your husband, step on your person, they get used to it. Undo the pattern.
Do yourself a favor, maybe do something outside the home - a hobby that you've always wanted to do, read more books, news, or things that are interesting to you and your husband, so when he gets home, you two have some new things to talk about, and maybe have a healthy "argument" about, just because. And, the most important thing: Call him out once he does it again. Maybe not right after the incident as it might invite some heated argument, but do so as soon as you find the opportunity. Don't miss a chance to let him know about how you feel. Be assertive.
Take care.
Last edited by caterpillar79; 02-04-2010 at 09:05 PM.
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen
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yes i use to go to college b4 i left. i will be going again. i want to either become a vet tech or nurse. was going for psych but mmm not so much now. and im 23. my step sons are 7 and 6 my daughter is 3. adn no wild child he didnt. and yes for sake of arguement i do apologize first. i do love to dance and go hiking adn camping. but with his schedule we cant camp. here in texas. no hills for hiking.and he doesnt liek dancing. I am a writer in poetry i have won awards but i dont write any more ive lost my spark for it since being with him. its not because of him not at all just dont do it. i love to draw and paint i have won awards for that as well but i dont any more. its expensive and teh kids make me lose my focus all teh tiem so my work never get done. i have longed t o write a book. I have soem good ideas for one or a few. just havent. when can i between laundry vacuming dishes mowing lawn dinner baths. field trips practices shopping paying bills taking care of my 2 iguanas 3 dogs tank of fish and trying to keep my family happy? i would love to be myself again. but im afraid im sure he wont support me in it,,, ill be claimed of being suspisious again... i would looooove to go dancing with him but no he doesnt dance.
and w.c he didnt use to be this way at all. as i said b4 once i called him out on what he was doing behindf my back everything changed and he said i was judging him controlling him and i irratated him. he is a great man i just idk i dont get him any more. i want to give him space but how much??? texas wouldnt be enough for him i dont think. i nkow he loves me adn i him so how can i fix this. i support him and what he says .. after all he is the man. of the house and i was raised what the man says goes. but now that i have a man im not seeing how this age old rule works
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