AND MEN SAY WOMEN ARE COMPLICATED!!! ya right!

**GlitterAndStuds** · 02-04-2010 05:08 AM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

See when you are a single woman... its the man that generally does all the woo'ing you into bed.... but once you are a couple / married... and they know that the fridge is stocked with sex they can toss in microwave when ever they choose... they aren't as needy for it as we were lead to believe.
.....

Before if a day went by when my boyfriend didn't want sex I would be thinking that he must not find me attractive enough - or he'd want it every chance he could get it... as I am growing in my relationship I am learning that men don't NEED it every day... just as we may not need it every day.

This is pretty much the perfect wording for what I was going to say. I have the exact same feelings lately. Before my boyfriend and I moved in together, he would jump on every chance he had to have sex with me, and it was all fine and dandy. For the most part, he's still like that and still loves it, but the urgency isn't there as much as it used to be. But that was because we were only seeing each other a couple of nights a week and had to take whatever chance we had.

He's even said himself that that's the change, that now that we live together and can do it whenever/wherever we feel like it, it's not NEEDED every single day. But on average, when we think about it, we still have the same amount every week. I'm still getting used to it though, trust me. It's weird not being pounced on at every second like it used to be, but our sex life is still awesome. Just at a different level, I guess.

Back to Lizzy's question, I can understand that sometimes the lingierie/skimpy outfit thing doesn't always do it for guys.... but I don't get the part about him straight up ignoring you every time. I'm failing to see that. Granted, it probably IS because he's used to it and he doesn't get as big of a surprise out of it. Maybe look online for some new ideas, or take some of HD's suggestions. I LOVE the white shirt in the shower idea though, I'll be trying that this weekend!

**sperosi** · 02-04-2010 05:42 AM

although what HD and GaS said does seem to be kinda normal with a lot of guys from what I read here and elsewhere, i know it's not the case with all of them. maybe i've just been exposed to the extreme, or a raging sex addict, or someone with more testosterone than common sense, but ever-ready was the norm in my house. didnt matter what was being worn, how bad a day it was, kids fighting, etc, it was always "on". might have been very complicated about other things, but sex was never one of them.

**pretzel** · 02-04-2010 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by Tex

Some guys are more talk than action.

Not I.

I'd love the chance to be part of something like this.

But, again, this is just another fantasy. It's not like my wife would do something like this.

She did it a couple of times early on in our relationship. Very early on.

**WildChild** · 02-04-2010 07:22 AM

Over the years I've tried the sexy lingere thing several times. Never flew. My first husband (married when I was 19) would "design" things that he wanted me to make. They weren't possible to put on a body with out glue and it wasn't me he wanted to wear them. I wasn't very cooperative with that plan.

With more recent ex spouse, I had on some filmy nitie-ish thing and he asked, "Have you decided to start wearing clothes to bed?" (I usually sleep nude) I told him, it's supposed to be sexy and he replied, " I don't care about that kind of stuff, go to sleep."

My once-lover-now-just-freind used to tell me how hot I was and how good I looked and all that. After a few months he didn't bother. Sexy whatever got no notice, although going braless always got his attention. You reach a point where you do little things just for yourself, to feel special, but no longer expect any response. I look at my parents (my dad and stepmom) in their 70s, approaching 30 years of marriage and they are still very affectionate and he tells her and other people, how good she looks, how much he loves her. They've had their ups and downs but there is no doubt that they love and are attracted to each other.

**pretzel** · 02-04-2010 07:40 AM

(Rant)

Ladies, copy this and give it to the men in your lives.

Guys, are you nuts. You have someone very beautiful in your lives. Someone who is doing something that they are doing just for you because they love you, because they want you to feel good, because they enjoy being with you and you them. Attractiveness and sexuality are qualities that are solely unique to us. We have a special ability to desire and to be desired, why would anyone want to put those feelings aside.

Guys, the women in your lives are doing something very special. Appreciate it.

(rant over)

Geez I wish.

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 02-04-2010 04:58 PM

If you're not happy, have a discussion, if that doesn't float, then consider what's important to you and make a decision accordingly.

Though HopelessDork is completely right about the media portrays men as brainless horny dogs, which is true a lot of the time, but sometimes us men just aren't in the mood, or it's a bit too much of an effort (we do most of the work you know

).

Personally though, lingerie and sexy outfits and things usually result in a near-raping with me....

**Fallen1** · 02-04-2010 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

...... (we do most of the work you know

)

OHHHHHH I beg to differ there Anon. Maybe SOME men do all the work.

Depending on what you're referring to -

Most work as in work, no I work outside the home just like he does.

Most work as in sex, nope to that also. I LOVE being in charge and doing all the "work". Top is my favorite position. He would never do any of the work if I had a choice.

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

If you're not happy, have a discussion, if that doesn't float, then consider what's important to you and make a decision accordingly.

I totally agree with you here.

**newhere808** · 02-04-2010 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by stressed

Men aren't complicated... you get what you see. If they're meant to be apathetic they will be, if they want to do something they will do it. I'd go as far as to say they're predictable...

Then I would go as far as to say that you've been very unlucky in your selection in men

Something that few realize (both men and women) or care to admit is that men are about as diversified as women are. I've knowng women that are as passive and docile as an invalid when it comes to intimacy, and i've known women that are complete amazons in that department, what they want, when they want, and if your not on board you don't make the cut. Shoot my ex was both depending on her mood at the time. Men can absolutely be the same, it all depends on the guy.

With that out of the way. . .

I've never understood a guy that could do that, if my SO put that kind of effort forward for me, I would (and have in times past) drop what I was doing and appreciate it in full, but again, i'm not every guy, just as every women wouldn't model hot underwear to get their guys attention in the first place.

**Texinator** · 02-04-2010 07:07 PM

Originally Posted by pretzel

Not I.

I think it's safe to say that sentences starting with 'Some guys' don't include Sir Pretzel.

**Lizzy girl** · 02-04-2010 08:04 PM

OKay Okay Okay so finally i got "it" woooo hooo lol ya for lizzy geeeeez i had to sleep naked. wtH.??? no seducing no "hey baby" nadda. im so confused my head was spinning when he was ready to go. And i have tried the baggy shirt and panties. BUt as i said in one of my other posts. he said its not very attractive when i wear sweats. he lieks me in dresses and things like that. so any way I dk . Ladies you name anything under teh sun i have done it for this manI MEAN ANY AND EVERYTHING so i dot knwo what else there is. dress up name something ive been it. hair styles beyond what any girl has done every color, do, short, long up down pig tails braids girl for real ive done it all im very open ive told you so no limits on pleasing my guy. he just is a mutant i think. and he blames it sometimes on his past experiences. he said he got all of his "wild side out " when he was young Chicks please hes only 25. gimme a break. so any way im just aaaaaahhhh yep im ok now confused as a patient in the psycho ward but at least partially satisfied....haha where is my sexual stud??? i need him back

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