Why do overweight women wear tight clothes?

**stressed** · 02-17-2010 05:35 AM

First of all, to be clear: this is not to offend overweight ladies here and I have nothing against overweight people whatsoever. I have overweight friends and family members. The reason I ask is:

Last weekend we went out with a couple, where the man (a friend of ours) wanted to introduce us to his new girlfriend he met on the Internet. She was wearing these tights, which she wanted to enhance by wearing a jacket that ended right above her butt. She stretched the jacket often to make her butt visible. I couldn't avoid but look at her behind and legs (she always walked ahead of us). When we got home my fiance asked what I thought of her. I said "she's a nice girl" (didn't want to mention the butt, incase he thought I was being jealous). Then he said "sure...she's nice, but her butt is huge" to which I said "I'm glad you mentioned it, because I also thought the same". Then we had a discussion about her and he said how he wondered how these two had sex when she's on top (the man is half her size). For the next two days he was full of compliments towards me and happy that I don't have such a behind (maybe we should meet more friends' girlfriends).

My point is, I've heard many men 'complaining' about big butts. I am not saying that women should not wear what they want, on the contrary, we must all wear what makes us feel comfortable. However, I don't understand those who wear certain clothes to cause attraction when they can guess that it only works against them. Why not enhance your strong aspects instead? Just because men look at butts doesn't mean that we should show them off anyway. Same with breasts. Showing off our behind doesn't necessarily equal automatic sexiness.

**WildChild** · 02-17-2010 05:56 AM

Some men really like a substantual bumper. It's good that these ladies have the self confidence to be who they are but I think anything overly revealing is inappropriate in public. If I can't go happily naked why should anyone else be close to it?

**GlitterAndStuds** · 02-17-2010 06:00 AM

I've always wondered that myself. Like you said, not in an offensive way by any means. I've never noticed with the jeans, but I see a lot who insist on wearing tube tops, when those are rarely flattering.

It's probably a number of different things for different people. Maybe some are aware of their weight and feel insecure, so they make something like their butt or boobs a main focus in hopes that it won't be noticed. Maybe some just don't have a sense of what styles are flattering and what aren't. Some people just simply LIKE having attention on those areas, whether it's a good thing or not

Personally, I don't like to show off those things too much. I'm not overweight, but I have C cup boobs that are a huge pain to cover. I don't mind showing a little cleavage when I'm out, but at work it's a different thing. I don't like knowing that people are staring at that on me, but to each their own...others love that kind of attention.

**Disco** · 02-17-2010 06:04 AM

I'd say it's cause they don't feel as overweight when they fit into something small.

**kygirl** · 02-17-2010 06:41 AM

Honestly I think a lot of women are just confident and feel sexy and want to wear the styles that smaller, modelesque women wear. And if they do, well then go right ahead in my opinion.. to each their own.

I personally think it's about balance, no matter what size you are... wearing something that's too too baggy because that makes you look bigger, but also not wearing something that looks like you had to quit breathing to get into it.

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-17-2010 08:25 AM

Well... what your husband might find a disgusting big butt, some guys LOVE it large... I'm not talking jlo large... I'm talking LARGE LARGE... one mans meat is another man's poison.

You wonder why she is wearing something that shows off something you and your husband don't find attractive... but to other people she's showing off something they love to see.

When I was overweight I wore tents and didn't show anything off. Now that I am a size 3 I wear very tight , very revealing clothes... OFTEN. I still get women that roll their eyes at me like - wtf are you wearing that for?

For your man's friends girlfriend... she's obviously been complimented for rear or feels good about it to some degree to even want to show it off. Who is anyone to judge what makes her feel sexy?

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-17-2010 08:40 AM

I just wanted to add that I did not mean that last statement directed at any of the posters here.. I meant in general.

I think if a woman dyes her hair bright orange and I find it silly looking... its my problem , not their problem. If they are happy that way, if they look at the mirror on the way out the door and wink at themselves and feel good ... why should I look at them with dissaproval and ruin their day. Too many people do that. Thats why were all in here with self -esteem issues. When you do feel good about yourself its always not good enough for someone for some reason.

Whether its they don't like your outfit or your size or your size in an outfit... we see a person in something we wouldn't wear, our lives aren't affected by that. Why should we in turn effect their lives with our feelings about it? Is what I meant.

**stressed** · 02-17-2010 01:29 PM

I see your point and it's very valid. Perhaps they feel confident enough and believe that they are attractive and, certainly, they are seen as attractive by many men.

I guess, to make it more specific, I'm more bothered about women who "force" their sexuality with clothes and style, ragardless of weight. For example, this girl was constantly trying to show off her rear and her choice of clothes was not accidental. I sensed a lack of confidence somehow that she was trying to gain with rear-points to impress her new boyfriend. And to turn it around, I'm cup size A to B, I'd never wear anything too revealing breast-wise because I don't think doing so would make me look any sexier; if I'd do so it would only be because I liked that certain kind of clothes and not to intentionally receive more looks from men. To wear something breast-revealing an expect to receive looks just because of that would only be naive. If you get what I'm saying.

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-17-2010 02:40 PM

I do and understand what you mean. For me I'm a sexy dresser, I love fashion. I dress WEIRD. I follow no style. I am an artist and it shows in my clothes :P My style is not definable and follows no fashion trend. The only constant is that I do like things that show off my body. I'm in my early 30's . I've loved clothes since I was a child. In my 20's I went through a depression and gained a rediculous amount of weight.

My self esteem was at an all time low to the point I wouldnt even leave my house unless completely necessary as I was afraid of people judging me. I lived in the same 2 pairs of xxxL stretchpants for a couple years.

I worked my butt off and I lost that weight. I'm now the proud owner of a 26 inch waistline and I'll be danged if I am going to shove it in a pair of baggy sweatpants EVER again.

When I see a large person out in public, being confident, dressing sexy... it makes me smile inside. I could have never been that person when I was overweight. In fact many thin, beautiful girls (some on this very forum) don't have the confidence to go out and feel that sexy and good about themselves.

I would never want to rain on someone that managed to spits in the face of social judgements parade and tell them... hey... 'just because they make it in your size doesn't mean wearing it is wise'.

**PJhavinfunagain** · 02-17-2010 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by stressed

Perhaps they feel confident enough and believe that they are attractive

Ok yes I am overweight and this statement bothers me alot!

They believe they are attractive???? why should they not?

I dress conservatively but have a few outfits that do make the girls (small C cup) look rather nice and my DH likes it. Is it still tasteful? I think so but some may not. For everyone who dresses in a way we find unattractive there is someone who will find it attractive and obviously that person was happy with their choice.