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This sounds more than reasonable.
A quick question about financial responsibility....
Ok Ladies you helped me a lot on my first post this time I am in desperate need of another woman's point of view.
My girlfriend of over 5 months and I live together. She moved into my house approximately 3 months ago (I know so quick, but she was here so often I couldn't see why not) Ok judgments aside I ask this.....
Over the past several months I have not asked my girlfriend to pay for anything around the house. She does buy groceries every once and a while and is willing to pay when we go out but I need more help. I was going through the foreclosure process in my residence because the banks would not assist me in lowering my payment. Finally on April 1st I have to pay my lowered mortgage payment and times are tough.
Currently my breakdown for living expenses are as follows.
1371- Mortgage
234 - Association Dues
125 - Power Bill
150 - Cable Bill
70 - Water Bill
200 - Cellphone bill (which she is on the plan)
----------
2150 - Total
I am wondering if asking her to pay $700 a month is too much??? I got this figure because when she moved in she was paying $650 a month for rent including utilities and $175 a month for her cellphone.
With this total of $2150 and asking for her to pay $700 it would be 1/3 of the responsibilities...giving her over $1500 a month to pay and play with....
Wondering if I am being a jerk or if this is reasonable....
Thank you again in advance for your thoughts
This sounds more than reasonable.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
In my opinion she should pay half, unless she's earning significantly less than you.
If she's employed then she most certainly should be holding up her end of the responsibilities.
I think your proposal is good, if not TOO lenient.
IMO we (women and men) tend to value financially-dependent things only if we pay for them. If I'm not paying part of the rent, I don't appreciate having a place to live as much as if I were paying my share. Same for cars, utilities, food etc. Further, paying my own way helps me be self-relient, self-confident and sure of my own abilities.
Yep, she should pay her own share.... plan looks ok.
P
Currently my breakdown for living expenses are as follows.
1371- Mortgage $685.00
234 - Association Dues
125 - Power Bill $60.00
150 - Cable Bill
70 - Water Bill $35.00
200 - Cellphone bill (which she is on the plan)$100.00
----------
That's $880.00.
Previously she was paying $825.00.. So $825.00 sounds fair, it's what she obviously could afford, assuming that she could afford that? $210 a week?
I don't think anyone expects to live for free.. There is still food though and going out, which you both will have to share.
I wouldn't suggest that you do the facts and figures with her, rather, tell her the truth, your struggling, you need to get someone in to rent with you or you'll lose your house. Gently suggest to her, that you would like to take your relationship to the next level, after all you asked her to move in with you and in that, you've enjoyed her living with you. You want to share the house with her, not with anyone else and therefore, would she be okay with going 50/50 with all bills/mortgage repayments as rent...
I think you have to be careful in how you approach it. Unfortunately, you didn't set boundries when she first moved in, you probably saw it as that way, but it didn't eventuate and now your stuck in trying to tell her.
You can then show the $2150 figure but ask for what she paid for before, $825 instead of 50%, and tell her you love her
It's importance to be honest sweet.... that's your situation... that's what you have to do... to survive. I sell houses for a living, and un-fortunately, in-cluding for-closures...
Good for you to find solutions, but as I said, ensure she feels it's a plus not a negative... if she does see it as a negative then in my opinion she's using you and you will have to try for a house/mate and make a decision where your relationship is really at.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
I agree with Mes_T. half or thereabouts is reasonable.
i agree with CW and you should probably do it sooner rather than later. i am sure she will be understanding as someone said, no one expects to live for free.
You need to talk and agree on how to handle money. This can be very complicated, and there are lots of possible answers. Depending on your relative incomes, splitting might make sense. (wouldn't work if you were Larry Ellison though).
seems like a reasonable split of financial responsibilities...
however, one thing you might want to think about is instead of asking her to fork over money to you every month, why not make her responsible for a portion of the bills? So that way instead of feeling like her landlord, you are sharing household responsibilities...
ie, you pay the mort and the cable, and she pays the cell, electric and groceries... or something like that.
It's what I did with my boyfriend when he moved in with me, he wasn't paying either, and then I felt like a jerk asking him to pay up at the end of every month. It turned into a fight and I was about ready to throw him out. So I just put some of the bills in his name so we're both contributing to the household, but nobody feels like a tenant in the home!
just food for thought...
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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