Can you Love 2 people?

**BasketCase** · 05-03-2010 04:35 AM

Do you think it is possible to be in love with two different people? I want to know what you think.

**jns** · 05-03-2010 06:16 AM

Absolutely, but it will be somewhat different between the two. In other times or in other countries multiple marriage was or is still practiced. I don't think all those marriages are loveless, even if most are sanctioned by religion. Chinese emperors had many wives to tie their empires together and many concubines on the side. Rama V of Thailand supposedly had 100 wives and concubines and sired 400 children.

The question is: what does being "in love" mean. Does the "in love" mean that the person has a bunch of chemicals running around causing bonding and that person would suffer withdrawal symptoms if their object of desire was to be distant or to go away? Are you saying that such chemicals have intelligence to know who to bond to if two SOs are present and both are strongly desired? I'm not saying it would be easy to have two equal "in love" relationships, rather it would almost impossible to rule out such a situation.

And what does "the same time" mean? Exactly the same time? Or could it be tightly alternating times?

**caterpillar79** · 05-03-2010 06:38 AM

One can love two people, and even more than that, but none of them would be equal as the other/s. Timing could also be very tricky to look at as jns said.

Could it be that you are torn between two suitors right now?

**Texasred** · 05-03-2010 06:53 AM

Yes, you can.

**BasketCase** · 05-03-2010 07:03 AM

It seems logical to me that you can be in love with two people at once. If you can love one then you can love two.
Caterpiller-Maybe It's complicated. Strangs feelings about my ex.

**caterpillar79** · 05-03-2010 07:09 AM

You're not over your ex yet, and you are feeling something towards a new guy, am I reading it right, dear?

**rcoreyus** · 05-03-2010 09:01 AM

Yes, I think you can. Neither is exactly what you want, and each is missing something important to you that the other provides.

**BasketCase** · 05-04-2010 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by caterpillar79

You're not over your ex yet, and you are feeling something towards a new guy, am I reading it right, dear?

Well sort of. I don't think I ever really stopped loving my ex but I am in a year and a half (commited) relationship. Which I am happy in. it has been almost 2 1/2 years since me and said ex split. On good terms so we still talk. Nothing inappropriate. But he told me he missed me and to be perfectly honest I miss him too. Ugh I don't want to go down that road again (I think) but I don't know how to let him go.

**Maximus** · 05-04-2010 06:23 AM

Yes, you can.

Only one needs to be mindful, and pay attention to the fact that 'other' or 'additional' exists not because we lack something from our previous/current love. Else we are looking for fulfill some kind of need, or void.
Doing so what we call 'Love' is only a trade.

Ideally we should Love absolutely all people with the same Love, without limiting ourselves to our family and surroundings.
But that's a different story

**stressed** · 05-04-2010 04:22 PM

It seems like I'm the only one here believing that you cannot love two people at the same time

I think people tend to misuse the word "love" and use it instead of saying "I'm so used to having this person in my life that I cannot leave him/her even if I love somebody else too", but they could feel like that about a dog a friend, a plant, their computer. This is not love, it's habit, comfort and security.

Some times people are in love with an idea, or a memory, or a situation, so they think they still love someone, when what they actually love is the memory of pleasant past feelings.

You cannot split yourself into equally loving more than one person. You either do or you don't. You can feel love for one and passion for another. Maybe one gives you something the other does not, so you feel you need them both and therefore explain that as "love".

Why men are allowed to marry more than one women in certain cultures and countries is purely a religious issue. Their religion allows them to, so they do it. Some do it, or used to do it, because they want as many sons as possible. Because their sons will take their name and continue a dynasty. Not because they are in love with all the 5 women they are married to at the same time.

You can't sleep in the same bed with someone, think of someone else, and then claim you love them both equally. If you do that then you lie to both of them and, above all, to yourself.

Love means doing whatever it takes for someone. Putting their needs above yours. Fighting emotional pain, tolerating mistakes, forgiving, being there for the person 24/7, wanting to be with them every day, having eyes for no one else. You cannot do that with more than one person, it's just not possible.

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