Why dont women want to be feminists anymore

**Cassius** · 05-08-2010 12:40 AM

There was this big movement back in the 90s called feminism, about women going out earning money being the breadwinner taking charge etc. .
However it seems that most women of my generation (except for my gf maybe but she does not call herself a feminist) dont want to be feminists.
They want a husband who brings home money, not a househusband, they want a pretty traditional distribution of roles in bed, in short with a few exceptions to the rules they want to be the girl and want a real man.

What happened with feminism, why are women turning away from it ? I am sure some men are disappointed they dont get to be a stay at home dad

.

**LanaBear** · 05-08-2010 12:57 AM

I think it is still there, just not as pronounced as when it started, I think now it is more of equality.

I personally don't know anyone who wants the husband to be the sole breadwinner, everyone I know pretty much want to be equals in the relationship. I work with a few women who have husbands that stay at home and one of them doesn't even have any kids.

I make more money than my hubby. My profession is more lucrative than his. Did I start out with the assumption that I would be making more money? No. But I did want to be an equal contributor to the finances and household.

**GlassDaemon** · 05-08-2010 12:59 AM

Well, personally I see a pretty wide variety of family/couples a guy I knew growing up is now a stay at home dad and he loves it, my best friend moved in with her boyfriend and they're pretty half and half on bills and life style, dunno about their sex life. I personally want to be independent, I want, that if my relationship with my boyfriend goes sour(say we're living together) that I could go fend for myself without having to be dependent on him, but at the same time I want him to be the man and have a backbone.

I don't think feminism disappeared, just that it's not that big of a deal anymore. They pushed quite a bit, women still get passed up for men for jobs, women still make less at the same job as any given man, ultimately it's still not even, but it'll take time. Wait for your first - intelligent - female president and we'll see if things change, because it is coming.

Not to mention I think we've lost out men along the way, I think males are turning into panzies against these powerful women that are rising up and we gatta kinda pick them up and say "It's okay to have balls." lol that was an odd way to put that, but my mother makes comments all the time about the kids she works with and how they're nothing like the "men" of her generation.

And personally, and I might get flamed for this, but I think it's sorta ingrained into our psych, like women are the ones that nurture the family and men are the ones that build the foundation, I might have said the male part wrong. Women are softer, men are harder, to be basic. I think it'll take quite a bit of time to rewire the mentality, but it is changing.

**Cassius** · 05-08-2010 01:06 AM

Well I live in Europe I dont know what it is like on other continents. Yes no girl wants the husband to give her the whole, I am the man of the house routine either and being rude and what not, but I do see that most women want traditional roles and if you are a guy with little or no earning potential you dont need to even bother looking for a wife.
There are very few exceptions of course, but an educated woman wants an educated man and once children are involved the lawyer wife is the primary caretaker, while the surgeon husband is working full time.
There might be some educated women who financially support a stay at home dad, but they are like 1 out of 20, maybe even 1 out of 50, the other 49 are stay at home mothers supported by husbands.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-08-2010 01:46 AM

My take on that is that, it was more to the point we wanted equality, in jobs, politics, decisions..

You talk about, her earning an income, he staying at home. I think we still want equality, there as well. We "both" earn an income, work around the picking up and minding of our children, not become the "breadwinner".. Chances are if we were, and he stayed at home, we would still come home and have to "play", "attend" to the children, whilst he states " I've done my bit for the day, your turn" and we'd still follow through on chores not completed, which doesn't make it equal, there underlies resentment.

I can't think of a woman being totally domineering in bed, we will always want to feel like we have a "man", it's what brings out the inner child as well as the "real woman".. if we are the dominate one in bed, there won't be a lot of loving going on, but if we allow our men to be men, they take the lead, control, we feel more like a woman and therefore, our emotions, therefore, our love and therefore keeps us in that respect mode as well.

CW

**BasketCase** · 05-08-2010 04:46 AM

I'm going to catch heck for this I know. It only slightly pertains to your question but you may find it interesting.

They were great and all but the feminist screwed us in the states. (can't speak for the rest of the world)

They did a lot of goods things but not all the things that changed were for the better.
Here's an example.

Back in the ols days. Man+Women=children. Man goes to work, women stays home and raises children and cooks and such. Worked out ok for a while. Wasn't ideal for everyone but that's just the way it was.....

Then war came. And America tried to stay out of it. Well of course all we wanted to do was attend out churches and find our place in the world. But alas Japan attacked!!! Pearl harbor forcing America to face this problems in the world..Boom..Draft..we storm the beaches of Normandy. D-day so on and so on. Meanwhile back at home women decide to enter the work force. Being as there are so few men around these days. All the young sexy ones are off at war in Japan, Germany, Europe and the like. And were finally doing some good at stopping Old Hitler. Well the women work in the factories..yay were winning the bread. And oh how empowering it was.

Well eventually we out smart the "bad guys" and our young boys return home. Thank the lord we can go back to our lives. But the East of us is in ruins. Japan, and Europe are fighting to stay afloat. Their industry is down and there people are homeless and starving. Which America takes full advantage of. Buisness Booms. Industrie is popping up everywhere. We got lucky with the exception of pearl harbor. Our great nation was still in tack. Wow it was a great time for America. But with every sucess there is a down side.

Women decided they loved to work so much that they stayed in the work place. And when our boys came home they now had to compete with women (who were paid less) for jobs. Thus driving down wages for men and women.
Moral: that's the reason one income can no longer suppord a family and women and men must work there butts off to support a family. Boo big corporations for taking a great thing like feminism and women power. And turning it into an ugly thing like that. Gotta love capitalism. The min we decided to work and support our family, the corporations destroyed it.

Then we had no choice but to fight for our rights to make as much as men did and for a little respect. And because of this America is no longer on top. Were one of the few established countries that doesn't provide our sick with health care unless they have lots of money. We don't support our Allies. We would much rather start wars and hope we get lucky again. Poo We need a lot more than a feminist movement we need a people movement.

I love my country though.

**BasketCase** · 05-08-2010 04:52 AM

Some how I missed the part where you lived in Europe. Guess this means nothing to you then. Not really sure how things played out there. But it would be an interesting thing to research.

**Texinator** · 05-08-2010 05:19 AM

I've found there are two types of feminism. There is the one that strives for equal opportunity and equal treatment and then there is the one that demonizes men and wants them to pay for their 'sins'.

Equality has by no means been achieved but much progress has been made, and the concept of feminism in general has been much more accepted. Maybe there is less of a sense of urgency now because of that progress.

There does seem to be much less of the latter kind of feminism. Even though I was criticized a few months ago when I held open the door for a woman going into a bookstore, and she told me condescendingly 'Believe or not, these days women can actually open their own doors!' I have seen far less of that attitude in general. Perhaps those feminists have realized that antagonizing the people from which they expect better treatment is counterproductive.

**WildChild** · 05-08-2010 05:50 AM

Basketcase, you repeat so oft reported erroneous information. Women in the work place aren't the cause of men's employment problems. I don't have time to go into it all right now but may later.

**Cassius** · 05-08-2010 05:55 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

Basketcase, you repeat so oft reported erroneous information. Women in the work place aren't the cause of men's employment problems. I don't have time to go into it all right now but may later.

See thats the thing. A feminist would say, hey if he cant get a job he will be a stay at home dad then. But I see women who want a traditional man. They do not want the traditional man of the 1800s who buys the house pays the bills takes charge in bed and talks down on women, they want the traditional of the 1800s who buys the house pays the bills takes charge in bed is not mean and has something nice to say sometimes, especially the closer having a baby gets on the menue.