to check the box, or to not check the box

**ginger22** · 05-17-2010 03:39 PM

Ok well, I'm 18 and I've been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. We started first having sex a little over 6 months ago. I've gone that long without ever having any problems with anyone like my parents or friends finding out. See, I have the kind of parents and friends that would pratically disown me if they ever found out I was having sex. I mean I'm not EVER going to give them a reason to find out by making any mistakes because I'm on the depo shot, and me and my boyfriend consistenly use condoms and (though it may seem pointless) he still pulls out just to be EXTRA safe. That's how serious I am about not getting pregnant or anything like that. However, now I'm facing a little issue and I'm nto sure how to handle it.

I just got into college and sent in my deposit and everything (whoo!) and am now faced with stacks of paperwork. One of which is the health care/physical form. Ok so lucky for me, there's a whole section on the form where I have to answer whether or not I'm sexually active and blah blah blah. My mom was like "I guess I'll let you fill that part out and won't look at it" ... but will it be like totally obvious if I fill it out sneakily and then keep it hidden from her until we mail it in? I'm jsut not ready to tell my mom that I'm sexually active. Not while I'm still in high school at least I mean I just don't feel comfortable with that situation.

I don't know what I should do?!? I've debated checking the "never had sex" box and then just telling my doctor when I go for my physical that I am "sexualy active" and maybe she can change the box and I can somehow mail it in!?! I've also thought about just checking the "sexualy active" box and just saying heck with it and trusting that my mom wont look at it but that seems so RISKY. Like I already feel like I'm lieing to my family enough as it is just by having sex in the first place. But like, it's sort of important that the haelth care people know what going on with me so they can help me in case of some kind of emergency.

So I'm really REALLY confused and scared and just don't know what to do. Any suggestions? =/

**WildChild** · 05-17-2010 05:23 PM

Is this a religious school? My daughter did all her college paper work without any such questions and she goes to top university. But then everything was online too.
Can you leave it blank?

I'm not a fan of lying but at 18 you are of the age of consent and legally able to make the choice for yourself, you've shown yourself to be responsible by taking appropriate precautions for conception control and STI control. If you really fear this would be a highly devisive issue, then check the "not" box. At your age your medical records should be confidential. You do know that if you are on your parents insurance they will get an accounting from the insuarnce company of any charges for doctors or prescriptions?

**sourpuss** · 05-17-2010 05:30 PM

I'm judging by her actions that she's not as uptight about it as you may think. Sounds to me like she'd rather you weren't sexually active, but she knows deep down that she's got to be realistic and that you're 18, in a relationship and that there is the possibility that you are...she'd just rather not know about it just yet.

**WildChild** · 05-17-2010 05:31 PM

I think so too.

**ginger22** · 05-19-2010 02:19 PM

No it's not a religious school. Its like a paper that has some questions and then says "doctor's comments:" on it so like i guess i'm suppose to take it for my physical or whatever.

I'm about to have to go to the gynecologist for my yearly check up thing so if I have any medical issues she will find out. I figure there's really no need for my mom to know right now because it will only cause trouble for us.

Thanks for replying I think I know what I'm going to do now. I'm going to leave it blank unless someone tells me I absolutely have to fill it in, not tell my mom, and tell my doctor during my physical if the subject comes up. lol. If only things werent so complicated =P

Thanks again!

**WildChild** · 05-19-2010 10:09 PM

The doctor may ask from the standpoint of are you using BC and STI protection. But the sex itself really isn't their business.

**saintsgirl** · 05-19-2010 10:32 PM

I have an 18 year old daughter. I don't know if she's sexually active or not. I hope not of course ,because she is my "little girl". But in all honesty she probably is. Would I disown her for it? Never!
You're starting a new phase of your life. Going off to school and being somewhat responsible for yourself. You're basically an adult. And there are things as an adult that I think you have a right to keep private. If you wish to answer the question,be honest. But you have every right to keep it private until you send it off.

**LanaBear** · 05-19-2010 11:30 PM

I agree with sp... My guess, knowing you have a steady boyfriend, have been in the relationship for 2 years, is that she probably has some type of feeling that you may be sexually active and may have already mentally prepared herself for the news.

All in all, it is entirely up to you. My opinion, no harm, no foul, if you don't check the box, as long as when you have the physical, you are completely honest with the Doc.

**Hopeless Dork** · 05-19-2010 11:41 PM

It won't matter if you check not sexually active now, then later inform the physican during your physical that you are in fact sexually active.

A lot can change in a summer before college, I am sure they know that

Saying you are not sexually active now, doesn't mean you won't be 2 weeks from now. I doubt its a real big deal until you are actually in front of the doctor, then be totally honest... that way they can check you for all the necessary things they do for sexually active people.

**sperosi** · 05-20-2010 10:17 AM

I disagree. You need to check what is accurate for your own safety. there may be an instance where you need medical attention and are incapacitated and the only thing they have to go by is your paperwork.

it may be "uncomfortable", but the truth is what it is.