Planning a wedding on short notice and low budget.

**BasketCase** · 07-14-2010 12:29 AM

Warning this will be long. Backstory:
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half. I am certian that this is the man I want to marry. We have discussed marriage several times and have both agreed we wanted to wait a year to start planning everything out. So I wasn't expecting it when my boyfriend sat me down and said "baby we need to talk about getting married." For military purposes we need to be married for me to be able to go with him when he is stationed. Otherwise we could be apart for up to a year or longer. He will begins basic in January and stationed soon after. I know that I want to marry him and I am excited about it but at the same time I have suddenly found myself planning a wedding on next to no time and even less budget. And the Coast Guard is his dream and something he really is commited to doing. And i am willing to go anywhere with him. And can't stand the thought of being away from him for so long. And it truly is the best way for us finacialy because we will finally be able to afford school. And it will offer us oportunities that will be good for us in the future. (we both come from low class familys and this is a great option for people like us to really build a better life for ourselves)

Of course I could run off to the court house or something like that but it would break our family's heart and to be honest it would break mine a little too. I have always dreamed of my perfect wedding. I know it seems selfish of me but it's really sad to think I may not get a wedding. Not to mention how difficult it has been for me explaining to my friends that I am getting married most people's reaction is "Wow I didn't even know you were engaged." I don't even have a ring yet. What should I do. My head is completely buzzing right now. I'm not seeing many options for us. Of course it would be nice to have a quick ceremony on the lake or something but in december it wouldn't be plausable. And on that note how can I even plan a wedding if I am not officially engaged yet. What do I tell people.

So this is where I stand, very little money, no ring (for me he has his grandfathers wedding band), no proper engagement, no idea what I am going to do. Or who I am going to invite. I haven't even told my family yet!! I am completly at a loss as to how to go about this. I have been googleing wedding things non stop for days and I think that's just stressing me out more (everything is so expensive). Is it even possible for me to pull this thing off in four months. What can I do to save money. I know it's tradition for brides family to pay for the wedding but it seems selfish to ask and considering my mothers financial situations she's unlikely to offer and I am even less likely to accept even if she did. She's not broke or anything but she's not exactly rich either. So we are pretty much on our own here and I really need a cheap quick option but still something that our family and friends can attend. This is even more important considering this will probably be the last time we will see all of them before we move away. Should I just suck it up and have a quick court house wedding or atempt to make this work.

P.S- Please don't think I am awful and selfish for wanting a nice wedding. I know that I will be happy even If I don't get one. But I admit that a part of me really wants a ceremony of some kind.

**BasketCase** · 07-14-2010 12:40 AM

When I said we come from low class familys. I ment by government income standards. By no means is either one of our family's low class. I read that after I typed it and was afraid that people might take that in a negative way. The government considers any family making less than 40,000 a year "working or Lower class". Lol sorry I felt the need to explain myself. And to add to the post I have always demanded only one thing of my wedding. No matter how big or how small my brother must be the one to give me away. No matter what. And the thought of that not happening breaks my heart the most.

**Mes T** · 07-14-2010 12:43 AM

You're not selfish at all, humans need ceremonies of ALL kinds, not just weddings... to bring closure, to mark an important transition, to just have a chance to share their joy with others... Whatever it may be for, ceremonies are important!

I think first thing's first: You've gotta get engaged. If not with a ring, at least with just words. Because right now it sounds like you're completely jumping the gun, and I'm guessing friends or family you tell would be thinking the same thing.

Next, in my opinion expensive and/or STRESSFUL weddings are a bad idea. I know that you don't have a lot of time and a lot of things to think about, but how anti-climactic would it be to be the typical bride-to-be, running around yelling "HAVE YOU MAILED THE INVITATIONS YET OR NOT???!!!"

If you get my point...

My boyfriend's sister got married on a golf course and it was the best wedding he's ever been to. People just chilled, barbecued, drank, danced...

What are some things that define you as a couple? What are some things you can bring to the ceremony to make it special without making it expensive?

4 months is not that long, but also not that short. You can do a lot in just one DAY. I think the most pressing matter would be to figure out who you want there, as you might want to give people plenty of warning so they could clear up their schedules. Personally, I would only invite my closest friends and family to my wedding, people I'm completely comfortable with. If that just amounts to 10 people, so be it.

And finally, if you do run out of time, do you think it'd be possible to go to a court house but then have the actual ceremony AFTER?

**BasketCase** · 07-14-2010 12:52 AM

And finally, if you do run out of time, do you think it'd be possible to go to a court house but then have the actual ceremony AFTER?

Acually I think that's a wonderful idea. And we really have to do that anyway because I want to have a close family friend read the vows so I have to get a courthouse wedding anyway, then have the friend say the words at the ceremony (at which time we will be legally married already). Me and Jeremy both are not relgious people and do not wish to have some random justice of the peace stand and say a few cliche words. I know that's a bit unusual but it's always been what I wanted to do.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-14-2010 12:53 AM

Aweee

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What? It's true

Okay, think suprise... What is wrong with inviting people to your "Engagement" party, which turns out to be your "Wedding"? It spells romance does it not? It stops rumers as it kills two birds with one stone and it was special.. A suprise. All your family can be involved, as they are thinking it's an engagement party, but I would probably tell Mum and Dad so they can be involved and keep it quiet.

You can ask for a dress code.

You can have flowers etc.

I got married on a beach, not sure if the weather is good or freezing where you are, when you intend to get married, but if it's warm, that's a great idea with cocktail food and hired chairs.

If it's cold.. Google away and find something that's interesting, different and will suit...

It's not about where, it's about it being special...

You can re-marry again with vows in 5 years time, in a Church... I would have... I may this time...

CW

**BasketCase** · 07-14-2010 01:07 AM

CW. It will be December!!!! (lol I forgot to mention the cold) AHHH I am in the Deep South lol. It will be freezing. Not as bad as new york or anything but down here we are so used to the 105 degree summers that most of us can't handle the two months of winter we get every year. No to mention were so close to the ocean that it's not only cold, it's like the wet cold that seeps through your clothes. It gets about 30 degrees in december so I think beach wedding (or anything outside for that matter) is a no go. lol Can you picture all of my freezing guests huddled together over a large can with a fire built inside it. Thanks CW I slumped over with giggles at the thought of that...I think I really needed to laugh because it's not really that funny. lol And on the bright side I think that's the first time I typed lol after acually having laughed out loud. I'm silly. And the surprise wedding it the funniest idea. How wonderful would it be for my family to show up to an engagment party and see me in a wedding dress. And by doing that I won't have to return 20 blenders to the store.

**BasketCase** · 07-14-2010 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by Mes_T

Next, in my opinion expensive and/or STRESSFUL weddings are a bad idea. I know that you don't have a lot of time and a lot of things to think about, but how anti-climactic would it be to be the typical bride-to-be, running around yelling "HAVE YOU MAILED THE INVITATIONS YET OR NOT???!!!"

If you get my point...

I promise not to become bridzilla

But we have only just decided this and I am already freaking out. I must do this simple or my head is bound to explode. lol Even if I had endless money to spend I don't think I would. Could you imagine keeping up with some huge wedding. With all the trimmings. 250 guests and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off wondering why the 8th diffrent wedding favor was left off of table 35. lol Whooo not for me.

**BasketCase** · 07-14-2010 01:16 AM

That ment to say "Whooo not for me" and "Keeping" but somehow a smilly crept in there. He must have known I needed him.

**p3375** · 07-14-2010 03:30 AM

BC - some great ideas from CW and MsT - I just wanted to pass on CONGRATS! to both you and your bf. I'm sure you will figure it all out and it will be wonderful!
Pat

**Darling** · 07-14-2010 05:49 AM

Congrates, good luck with the military and the wedding!
My husband and i had a low budget wedding and it was beautiful! Try having the wedding in a public place, like a picnic area, walking park, somewhere out in the open that is normal free of charge, and as long as you pick a some what secluded park you wont have to deal with people interrupting you. Also for indoor low budget weddings try community centers like the community woman's club or men's club, or community civic centers. They usually run cheep. Flowers - If out doors the greenery around you is a big help with expenses, if indoors you can cheat expenses by buying silk flowers and creating arrangements, along with a walk in your yard and brides maids yards for pretty in season flowers. Cake- My mom and i made my wedding cake. two tier white fondant and rolled flowers. They sell the kit for fondant, and all you need is food color of your choosing. MUCH CHEAPER AND LOOKS GREAT! Ring- YOUR GETTING MARRIED you have plenty of time for a ring, get a cute little engagement ring, pawn shops, 00.50$ machines whatever hes getting into the millitary let him feel proud to buy you your perfect ring with his hard working pay check. hopefully you can uses some of these ideas and cut a budget!
good luck!