Is it ok that I can't get rid of my Old Engagment Ring?

**BasketCase** · 07-17-2010 07:27 PM

I still have my old engagement ring from another man and planned on pawning it seeing as I will be getting married soon. And I thought it was odd to still have it around. But when I pulled it out to go pawn it i just couldn't do it. But obviously I can't keep hanging on to it. It's just sitting in a drawer collecting dust... I don't think it means anything I just really want to keep it. Is this weird?

**WildChild** · 07-17-2010 07:44 PM

You need to let go of it. It should have been returned to the man who gave it too you whne you broke up. Why not donate it to a good cause?

**BabyGirl** · 07-17-2010 08:24 PM

There are a couple of things you can do with the Old Ring.. Depending on the size of the Stone (Diamond or other stone's)

You can always have the Stone reset into a Necklace/ Pendant/Ring for yourself or if you have a daughter by him, a necklace, Etc for her. If you have a son by him, you can save it for him to give to his fiance when he's old enough as an Heirloom.. Or even a class ring for him .

Even though you are no longer together, you once Loved him and accepted this ring. So even though the " Love" is gone, it still will have Sentimental Value, including why you are not together, a memory of what you did have and have Learned and have found a Better man to share life with.

Pawning it will get you very little Money compared to what it cost Originally. You can also Sell it on Ebay or a Craigs List and get money for it and spend it on something for your new life.

You can have the Stone(s) removed and use it in a Mothers ring for yourself ( if you have Kids and the Stone will match a Birthstone of a Child or Loved one .

You can Ebay or Amazon or Craigs List it in an Auction..

And Last but not least... There are Many people that cannot afford a ring, especially ones in the Miltary. So you can Always Donate it to some Guy that is so excited to marry his Lady Love. By having a Contest online or in your area of why they Love the woman they are willing to ask to marry them ?

**Kallygirlie** · 07-17-2010 08:24 PM

I totally understand and its not that uncommon. I was engaged when I was 18, I'm 26 now and in an amazing relationship that is heading for marriage yet when I look at that ring, I can't bring myself to get rid of it. I offered it back to my ex hoping he would say he didn't want it back. I keep it in a box with the break up letters he gave me. i couldn't tell you were the things at anymore but I know its in my closet somewhere. It doesn't change how I feel for my BF or what I want with him. It doesn't change the fact that when my ex calls me now, that I'm completely over him. I wish I could explain what the attachment is but just know you aren't alone.

**jns** · 07-17-2010 08:24 PM

The ring is for the promise to marry. If he broke it off or caused a situation that broke the engagement, there are arguments on who should get it. If you broke it off or caused a situation that broke the engagement, you should return it unless he said to keep it. If he cannot be found and it should be returned, possibly return it to a responsible person in his family and get a receipt, if possible.

If you want to get rid of it, you can get more by selling it to a pawnbroker than by pawning it. If you want to give to charity, many times jewelry is mishandled by charities and is sold for well less than it is worth. I have a friend who went to classes at GIA and made good money by buying jewelry (gold, silver and all kinds of precious stones) from second hand stores (who got their inventory from charitable giving that was sold to them in lots) and selling at swap meets. It's best to sell it and give the money to charity instead. You could use auction sites, or probably better, local dealers or large internet dealers to sell it, as well as the pawnbrokers.

**ocularone** · 07-17-2010 09:33 PM

i agree with wildchild on this. it is a token of what once was. you shouldn't have that hard of a time if you really are over the relationship you had with this man. You now are marrying another, who i am assuming and hoping is the one you know is truly for you. Sometimes we hold on to things to remember what once was or even what could have been. Don't get me wrong i know thee is high value in keeping sentimental objects but i think these circumstances are quite different. Let me pose this question: Say the scenario were reversed and your fiance had an engagement ring he had once given another girl to marry him. Life happened and the marriage never was but he still hangs on to it because it means too much to him to part with it..how would that make you feel?

**stressed** · 07-18-2010 11:34 PM

My fiance's mother wears the engagement ring my fiance wore when he was engaged to his ex. She also wears her daughter's previous engagement ring, even if she's been married for 10+ years with somebody else. She wears them every day, as if they're practically her own wedding rings, as they all look alike.

Some people just can't let go.

**BasketCase** · 07-19-2010 10:55 PM

The thing is we broke up on really good terms. He was a good guy. The split up was mainly due to the fact that (at the time) I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. As I was only 18. We dated for nearly 3 years. Then split. I supposed a part of me needed to get out and experience life a little. After the split he tried to pawn the ring himself. After finding out he was only going to get 10% what he paid for it he decided not to and asked me if I wanted it back. I said yes and have had it since. I do have a soft spot in my heart for him. He was my first love, he was the man I lost my virginity to. We really had some great times and good memories. I know that that's not the life I want but yes a part of me still cares for him. Just beacause of all the things we went through together. That doesn't mean I see any future with us or still love him in that way. We have both moved on and are better for it. I really like the idea of turning it into a necklace. But the thought of letting it go kinda breaks my heart. We talk every few months or so and catch up but the ring has never come up since then.

**sallyskellington** · 07-20-2010 07:32 AM

I agree with wild, it should be donated to a good cause.

**Hopeless Dork** · 07-20-2010 10:35 AM

I think turning it into a necklace, or anything that makes it even more part of your day to day life than it is now would be a mistake. Take a moment and think about how it would feel if the love of your life now had a trinket from an ex that not only they refused to part with but decided to have bronzed so it could be placed on the mantle of the fireplace you two share together... or to have it adorn the watch he wears ever day.

Its fine if you don't want to let go of it... but for the sake of the health of your future relationship/s, you have to keep it in its proper perspective, which is... the past.

We all have memories, and have lived a thousand lives of loves and there are things about people that have been close to us that we don't want to / don't have to let go of. But they need to have a firm position in the backseat, not front. Moving forward is about letting go and how can you full move forward with one foot planted firmly in the past...you can't.

While it may not have the significance to you that you still want to be with this person, how it would appear to a third party, particularly a signficant other... should be considered.

Keep it in your treasure chest of treasures from childhood etc, if you can't part with it... but keep it in its box, in its place, in the past... only to be thought about in moments of nostalgia but not daily.