Was fired up over this topic this morning

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-03-2010 09:14 AM

If that upset you try watching episode of sweet 16 on MTV without throwing up in your mouth a little... not because of how much rediculous money is spent on these kids for a birthday... but of the entitled attitudes displayed the entire time, most yell at their parents, talk down to them with no reprimand. I think sometimes its just parents that have a lot of money and not a lot of time substitute money and gifts for love so even if the kid is ungrateful, they still give in because outside of buying them things they don't want to invest any further in the raising of these humans they brought into the world.

Then society sits back and wonders why these beautiful girls, paris, nicole etc... have the world handed to them and they shove it right up their nose. Their emotions are void for the most part, they've been given everything, have earned nothing have nothing that brings them genuine joy so they seek it out with drugs and excess.

Part of the joy of having something is wanting it in the first place and if every want wish or whim is filled the second its dreamt up, the pleasure from recieving it ... is far less than it would be if a decent amount of time, work or patience was involved in getting it.

I use to be in a good financial situation and everything my son wanted he pretty much got, and he was turning into a brat. Circumstances beyond my control changed my financial situation to where I can barely afford the basics much less anything extra and he had an adjustment period but since i can't give him *things* that make him happy, i've ended up spending more time with him to try to make him happy and guess what? He's a lot more appreciative and respectful and all around much more happy despite the fact he doesn't get new gadgets at all.

When I was working a lot and didn't have time, but had money I was quick to say yes to almost anything he wanted, mommy guilt , i guess you could call it... not realizing that i was probably trying to buy his love and happiness with ipods and video games... its subconcious -- until you evaluate it later. So I can't really blame him for getting a little bit demanding and spoiled when I was the one creating that monster.

I think the parents that have a poor me my childs a spoiled brat have to look in the mirror because they are the only reason for it. Kids are little sponges and are looking down their noses at their parents once they know they are running the show.

That daughter on the radio, the way she carried on, obviously took her dad for a chump, was used to taking her dad for a chump... doesn't respect him OR his hard work to pay for things for her and his little lawsuit is probably a case of way too little way too late.. the monster he created is now a problem for whatever poor sap that falls for her.

**Texinator** · 09-03-2010 10:18 AM

I don't think it is purely generational. I know plenty of people in their 30s and 40s who think the world owes them a comfortable lifestyle. A great example is some acquaintances I have, a husband and wife in their late 30s, who are always complaining about how tight money is for them and how they are working too hard for too little. Sometimes they really do have problems paying their bills. But the catch is that she collects designer purses that cost several hundred dollars a piece, he will only drive Benzes or BMWs, she cannot go two weeks without spending something like $50 on her nails, and he has a gym membership he only keeps to be able to say he belongs to a gym. Among many other things. They are always worried about keeping from buying or doing things that are 'beneath' them, and somehow it's societies fault that they don't have the income to match their expensive expectations.

**SaharaJim** · 09-03-2010 10:51 AM

Sorry IMHO there is nothing "new" about this. Yes children can be "self-centered" and spoiled. Every once in a while something comes out of my 27 yr. old step-daughter's mouth that i just stand in shock over and wonder if she really believes she is "entitled to' the things i do for her and her 'boyfriend". Like this weekend..she was talking to some friends who are going to ride with us to a motorcycle raly this weekend. She was saying that we had "better go' because she took off work and no one "better" get in an accident because she wasn't spending this weekend at a hospital. Las time she went with us to a Rally She and "boyfriend" were riding bikes that i had bought them, using gas that i had paid for, and I got hit in the back by a pick-up truck at 70 mph. She and boyfriend were 'inconvienanced' by my hospitalization?
She probably had no idea what she was saying...she was mostly frightened by the accident; but yeah kids say the darndest things- they just don't realize how self-centered they are until the grow up enough.

**KMonte85** · 09-03-2010 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by Tex

They are always worried about keeping from buying or doing things that are 'beneath' them, and somehow it's societies fault that they don't have the income to match their expensive expectations.

I like to call that Champagne tastes on a beer budget - and you're right, its not just generational, my brother is the same as the people you mentioned, always buying buying buying and then getting upset when he can't pay the utilities and no one will bail him out. The man is nearing 50, and his kids are just like him....

**Texinator** · 09-03-2010 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by KMonte85

his kids are just like him....

Ah, they do have kids, and that's probably the only part of their life where they are making an effort and not complaining. But they're actually doing too much for their kids, and I'm afraid the kids will probably be even worse off with their attitude than the parents. Their children have absolutely no sense of responsibility and are completely incompetent, because Mommy and Daddy do everything for them. The oldest just became a teenager, but you'd think he's only five or six with the way he acts.

**WildChild** · 09-03-2010 11:54 AM

The job of parents is to lovingly bring infants through childhood and into the world of adulthood as rational, competent, caring people, where they will spend most of their lives.
That is a balancing act, don't grow them too fast or too hard, don't hold them back or make them too soft to deal with what life hands out.
Unfortunately the rules keep changing and there are no fully valid instructions because each is different.

**BabyGirl** · 09-03-2010 06:44 PM

What is compelling about these posts is we have various opinions or experiences from different ages and backgrounds.

Most touch a little on both sides of the fence, Bratty Kids , Parents fault or Generational ? I believe it is some of both. especially with the generational or "Times" we live in.

Back in the early 60's, I remember wanting a Real Barbie Doll, instead of the Mc Calls Magazine paper dolls that we could cut out and then wait for the next month for more clothes to cut out for her. I was told that my paper doll would have to do and be happy that I could get new clothes for her every month. If I did my chores and wasn't Sassy mouthed.

Boy when Christmas came around I was surprised that I got a Real Barbie. But she only had one outfit.. She was awesome, for awhile, I asked about more outfits and the same was said, You must do your chores, (asked of and no Mouth about it ) and we will see what we can afford. Months went buy, me doing my chores and being Basically " Good", my birthday being in late August, I was hoping for another Outfit for Barbie..

When the big day came, after the cake & candles ( 1962) There were 2 boxes that were too big for barbie clothes. I open them anyway, all the while thinking Christmas is not that far off.

One package had some scrap materials. T~sirts, dresses, pants.
(Now part of my chores for that year were to try and get stains or rips and tears outta the clothes, If I couldn't find a way to repair or save the clothes , they went in a "box " for Gram to sort later and see if she could fix them ).

Confused , I sill thanked Gram & Grampa , then they said to open the 2nd bigger box...

In it was a Singer Slant~0~Matic sewing machine made especially my size and age.
I didn't wish for or ask for anything Special for Christmas that year. But I Did get a Chatty Cathy doll that Christmas.. It was used hair cut badly, But she was Dressed Very well after I sewed her new clothes.

Was I Spoiled ? Yes !!!!. Spoiled with Love, Spoiled that I learned I have to earn to achieve something more that can be given for just a want or handed to me.

Do I have Chatty Cathy or Barbie or that Singer now ? NO.. Barbie got run over by a logging truck, Chatty was lost in the river , by me teaching her to swim in too strong a current... But the Singer Machine, I gave to my Cousin , Well used and she was only 6 when I passed it on to her, 40 odd years ago. I must email her about where She Lost it or is it ?? Lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway....

Like a few here, I raised my kids on New and Used things. They have learned to Save, Earn and Pass on things they are not using or just bored with. They Expect NOTHING they cannot Earn themselves ( or wish for)..

And Yes They are Spoiled. .

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