Was fired up over this topic this morning

**Kallygirlie** · 09-03-2010 06:57 AM

Ok so this morning on my way to work, I was doing my normal Radio listening and a topic came up that had me so fired up. This Women wrote the Radio show for help. She got Married in Feb 2010. Her Father paid for her $30,000 wedding. The couple seperated 6 months later and her father is demanding she pay him back for the wedding. I can see how she would be frustrated because what 22 yr old has $30,000 in the bank but she took it to a level that just got under my skin and really is what I think is wrong with the youth today. She proceeded to say how she didn't even like the dress, flowers, venue or anything else about the wedding that they picked out. Her dad even bought her a car and its ugly and not the one she wanted. She then defended herself by saying how its his fault for having such a pretty daughter. To add insult to injury, she states that she knows she won't be single for long and since her dad is acting like this, she's going to raise the cost of her next wedding just for revenge. Ok so now I think she's just living off of fairytales cause she added to all this by telling the world that she quit her job when she got married because her husband has a job and it's he's supposed to support her and provide for her. She didn't like it to much when most of the listens who called in told her that she's a spoiled brat. her argument, dont be jealous of her because she's had money. She kept repeating "I'm daddy's little girl, he's supposed to do this, its just how it is". By the end of it all, I wanted to find her and smack some sense into her.

I irritates me so bad when I drive by a high school and see students driving brand new cars. More expensive than what I or most people I know can afford. It's not jealousy, its just stupid. I teen just learned to drive, so lets give them a $30,000 car? I had a Plymouth Neon that my dad bought for $200 because it had been wrapped around a telephone pole, he fixed it up and it lasted me 120,000 miles of my own traveling before it crapped out, I paid for my own insurance, taxes and gas. I thought I was one lucky person to even have the car. Even today, my dad has offered to pay for my wedding and send us on a cruise and I'm so grateful. I'll plan my wedding the way I would if I were paying for it and I told him he didn't need to send us on a cruise, he trumped me by saying he knows its what my mom would have wanted so that shut me up.

So what do you all think? Are alot of the kids growing up now days being over spoiled?

**Beautiful Disaster** · 09-03-2010 07:10 AM

Shoot yeah they're spoiled.

We are living in times where youngins feel entitled to everything they have, everything they get. They're ENTITLED.... and that's the difference. When our parents were growing up, they weren't entitled to anything other than a food over their heads, food, clothes on their back and maybe a new pair of shoes once a year. Everything they wanted in life, they had to work for. If they didn't, they did without. Now, even my generation, doesn't really know what it's like to do without. If they have to do without, it's someone elses fault. Most kids aren't going to go bust their butts working, when someone is going to hand them the same thing without them ever lifting a finger.

The wedding stuff baffles me. I've posted about that before. $30k on a wedding? What an awesome down payment that would be for a house. OR, you could put that 30k back and plan a trip abroad together every year to experience a new part of the world. I can think of a many awesome things you could do with that 30k that would be so much more beneficial and meaningful than a wedding day. But that girl on the radio sounds like she needs to be left, high and dry, to fend for herself. She's spoiled and obviously VERY immature.

Let Dad send you on a cruise or plan somewhere you and your guy really want to go and won't otherwise have the chance. Unless you're just heart set on a big shindig wedding, plan something super modest, simple that does not generate stress and tension. Start your marriage happy and relaxed, not stressed up to your eyeballs.

**Mes T** · 09-03-2010 07:15 AM

I don't think that girl on the radio represents the majority of young people today. There have been young, rich, spoiled rotten kids since the beginning of time.

Just be thankful you're you and not her, and I wouldn't give her a second thought.

**sourpuss** · 09-03-2010 07:18 AM

gross

**KMonte85** · 09-03-2010 07:19 AM

As much as I would like to find that woman and smack her too - I think "daddy" needs a bigger slap upside the head than she does! Obviously, she didn't wake up one morning feeling like the world owed her something - her parents taught her those horrible habits... and because of their bad parenting, there is another spoiled rotten bratty person running around this world causing havoc and not contributing to society in any positive way. Great, just what we all needed! lol

I don't think there's much wrong with parents given their children gifts when they can afford it, but those children need to be taught that the gifts are from years of working hard, they didn't just fall out of the money tree, and they need to be appreciated...

I, for example, was one of those highschool seniors with a nice new(ish) car that was better than what most other students were driving. But not once did I EVER forget what that car cost, and how much my parents had to work to afford to give me such a generous gift for my 18th birthday. I still drive that car today - since the day I got it I've taken spectacular care of it, never miss or am late for any maintenance, I always paid the insurance, put in gas, and paid for all expenses related to the car from the money I made at my highschool job.

But was I a spoilted brat, or did I turn into one, because I was given a generous gift from my parents? No - because they were good parents, who taught me that only hard work and smart budgeting will allow you to have nice things. That you can't just EXPECT to be given anything, and if you are, you need to be eternally grateful. That is where the difference is between someone like me and someone like that radio person you heard this morning... being taught to be grateful for the gifts you receive, to not expect to be handed everything, and to work for the things you want. Too bad she wasn't given that lesson - she may find life to be a lot harder than she thinks it's going to be!

**WildChild** · 09-03-2010 08:10 AM

Certainly not all young people are like the girl you describe. My kids aren't. When I was married and my husband was unemployed for over 2 years continuously (and as long intermittently, we struggled constantly), my son came to me one day telling me his feet hurt. His shoes were a size and a half too small but he hadn't said anything because he said he knew we needed our money for food. I still tear up when I think of this. And yet the man I was married to considered my kids spoiled because if I had to chose between something for them or something for me I always got what they needed first.

I am as generous with them as I can afford to be and they rarely ask for something they don't really need. We used to live in one of the weathiest counties in the US so they certainly saw the contrast between what we had and what others had. My daughter got an academic scholarship and loans and attends a private college where money abounds, she tells me there are students who literally fly home or elsewhere every weekend. At the end of the school year the huge roll offs by student housing are filled with perfectly good items; computers, furnishings, clothing, skis - you name it. I've known kids from very wealthy families who were unfailingly polite and caring, taught that money brings responsibility and kids from poor families who were careless brats. Its a matter of upbringing and family attitudes. An exaggerated sense of entitlement can come at any income level.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 09-03-2010 08:15 AM

Certainly not all young people are like the girl you describe

And thankfully so. Many of us youngins have worked hard to get where we are for sure.

**Mes T** · 09-03-2010 08:17 AM

I agree it's probably more the parents' fault, but even the parents aren't necessarily bad people. I saw some special on TV a while ao (on 60 Minutes I think) where they tried to analyze the reason for this growing trend of young people being kind of spoiled - especially in the work place, demanding certain things, quitting the second something goes wrong because they think they're ENTITLED to something way better...

... And their theory was that because the PARENTS of these kids had such a hard time growing up back in the day, that they raised kids with the mentality of "I will never deny my kids things the way that they were denied to ME when I was a child."

So while the parents mean well, sometimes the result is quite nasty, like the girl on the radio.

**Texinator** · 09-03-2010 08:22 AM

If someone spends a lot of money on you... be grateful.

If someone spends a lot of money on you for something you aren't thrilled about, like a car that's different from the one you wanted... be grateful and shut up.

**Kallygirlie** · 09-03-2010 09:03 AM

I think each generation has more and more spoiled kids because of a parents need to raise their child better than they were raised. Truth is, I know with me, that stops with me. I love the fact that I had to work for what I have. The day I turned 18, My parents made me pay $50.00 a week rent. If I went to college I did not have to pay. Yeah I paid, and many times missed paying. My parents never evicted me but they were teaching me a small part of what the real world is gonna be like. I moved out on my own at 18 and I thank God they did what they did. Of course not all of the younger generation are spoiled but it seems alot of them are. Schools don't help honestly. My fiance's sister is on her high school basket ball team and they are all REQUIRED to buy a $150.00 pair of sneakers just so they all match. Couldn't the school find a little cheaper pair that everyone could buy.

As far as my wedding, I thought the idea of 3-4 thousand was to much. $30,000? are you serious. Her dress alone was $4000. She prop didn't like it cause it wasnt her original $10,000 one she picked out.

Heck my wedding is going to be in my church...cost is free, Im making my own flower arrangments and bouquets....cost about a $1500 savings, my dress, well i dont know. The one I love is $800 but I am not paying nor is my dad paying that much for a dress. The point is, marrying that man thats waiting for you at the end of the aisle. I'd go naked if it was allowed