Let's Go Dutch or I Knew It!!

**WildChild** · 09-13-2010 09:02 AM

Just read an article entitled, "Smart Dutch Take On Teen Sex".
It seems that Dutch parents have a tendency to treat sex in teens and others, as normal and healthy. They allows sleep overs and actually expect their kids to act in a sexually responsible way. They don't treat sex and 'dirty' or 'nasty'. To quote the article:

"More generally, the country's "moral rules cast sexuality as a part of life that should be governed by self-determination, mutual respect, frank conversation, and the prevention of unintended consequence." It's no coincidence that the country has also secured easy access (for both teens and adults) to contraceptives and other sexual healthcare."

What do you suppose is the result?

Well, quoting the article again:

""In 2007, births to American teens (ages fifteen to nineteen) were eight times as high as in the Netherlands," reports Schalet, and the Netherlands generally whoops on the states in terms of STD rates, too. What's more, "it also appears that having sex outside of the context of monogamous romantic relationships isn't as common among Dutch adolescents, especially older ones, as among their American counterparts."

Hmmm, well, how about that?

**Texinator** · 09-13-2010 09:14 AM

In comparison, when I was a teenager and wanted to visit a female friend - notice I said female friend and not necessarily girlfriend - we weren't allowed to be in the same room together unless someone else was there with us or all the doors were wide open. When I was 13, one of my neighbors was grounded for a week because her parents came home to find us in the house... in the kitchen, having a drink of water, after my friend and I had spent some time outside in the heat and she invited me in for a few minutes. In hindsight, it's a wonder that I even got to see a girl naked at that time without the Gestapo kicking down the door to save our moral fiber.

**ItsASecret** · 09-13-2010 09:17 AM

No surprise there. Countries in Europe seem to beat out American statistics by quite a bit regardless of what is being studied.

**KMonte85** · 09-13-2010 09:18 AM

eh, i don't know about this study... I'm sure it has some merit, but I think it really overgeneralizes the Dutch liberal culture. I would say that the Dutch are more open to discuss sexuality in an open forum as opposed to hiding it and making it something dirty as Americans have a tendancy to do. They absolutely understand the natural aspect of sexuality and try to teach their children what those urges are and how to be responsible about it, without laying on the guilt.

But the sleepovers, expecting teens to act sexually under the roofs of the parents and the polyamorous nature of teen sex for the Dutch? From all my experiences with the Dutch I think this is more far-fetched.

Granted, I haven't done any great studies... but my father is a Dutch immigrant, and so half my family is from Holland, I've been there many times, my Dutch relatives have come to my country - we talk, the cousins and their friends around my age and I discuss these things while we were going through the teen years... I can say with 100% certainty that they are absolutely NOT allowed to have boyfriend/girlfriend sleep overs (religious beliefs play a large part of this too) and most were in monogomous relationship when they did participate in sexual activity... but the are most definitely taught more openly about sex... and I think this open communication, and refusal to make sex "dirty" is what makes the difference.

But who knows - maybe I'm just interacting with only conservative teens in the country? haha

**WildChild** · 09-13-2010 09:20 AM

We had that rule too. No boys in the bedroom, lights had to be on, our floor plan was very open ,there were no doors to close other than bathrooms and bedrooms, but the general idea was there.
Of course being me, I broke all the rules.

**Texinator** · 09-13-2010 10:06 AM

I could have been better about breaking those rules, but I don't know if my efforts would have been worth anything, since so many others my age were "trained" quite well. The ones that tried to break free usually ended up going overboard with the sexual exploration and took it to unhealthy levels... we had more than a few pregnant girls in my high school, for example.

**WildChild** · 09-13-2010 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by Tex

I could have been better about breaking those rules, but I don't know if my efforts would have been worth anything, since so many others my age were "trained" quite well. The ones that tried to break free usually ended up going overboard with the sexual exploration and took it to unhealthy levels... we had more than a few pregnant girls in my high school, for example.

Funny that. In my day sex ed consisted of the Kotex film in 6th grade. No details, no contraception talk, no abstinance and I only knew of a couple girls who got pregnant. We just went to county health and got on BC, no fuss.

**kristalyn_04** · 09-13-2010 09:39 PM

If anyone recalls this national news headline from a few years ago, I'm from the town that had that high school "pregnancy pact" among some teenage girls at Gloucester High. Does anyone remember that story? I did not attend that school though... I went to a regional technical school, and this happened a few years after I had graduated high school anyways, but it was still quite a shock.

**WildChild** · 09-13-2010 09:45 PM

I saw that. That was insane.

**Mes T** · 09-14-2010 07:54 AM

Thanks for that article, no surprise at all... I considered myself to have received a pretty good education in all areas EXCEPT sex. The only way I learned about it was through trial and error (which luckily didn't result in an unwanted baby in my case, others haven't been so lucky)... and in my last year of college I was lucky enough to take a full semester course on everything ranging from BC to how to pleasure your partner to STDS to porn vs erotica... Yeah it was great.

Someone pointed out once that in America it's totally acceptable for kids to watch gory, bloody, violent films... but as soon as anything sexual comes on it's "close your eyes honey."

I wonder why sex, such a natural and healthy thing, turned out to be more of a taboo to young people than terrible violence??

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