Turning 30... ouch!

**LeanaBrook** · 09-16-2010 02:01 PM

I realize I will get... "try 40!!" or try "60!!".... but seriously hear me out...! Turning 30 SUCKS!! This is when you REALLY sit down (or lay down or cry down) and say, "What did I do with my 20's??!!".
Many of you can say "I finished my degree". Some of you will say, "I sacrificed my degree for having a family... now I have children!". Or "I am happily married"! Others can even say "I built myself a career and now I am financially independent". I cant say ANY OF THAT!! I played all through my 20's. I taught snowboarding. I was a bartender. I served tables to work the bare minimum so I can drink and play on my days off. I was in and out of 5 or 6 relationships. I lived at the beach... i lived in the mountains... now what!? Now it's time for me to be an adult and I have nothing to build upon.
Was turning 30 hard for you guys...? Did you evaluate your life at 30 regardless of your choices... or do I REALLY have something to stress about?? I need to make some serious decisions like NOW. I now KNOW how quick 40 will be here...!! I swear I was 20 a few years ago...! 40 needs to be different... I need to either have children, a career, a husband, a degree, own a home or all the above...!

**Mes T** · 09-16-2010 02:06 PM

Well pick one of those goals and get started.

I'm not 30 yet but I too am starting to feel more of a pressure to FIGURE MY LIFE OUT.

If it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend and a bunch of his friends are 30+, and the only difference between them and me is that THEY are slightly more awesome. I used to think I'd be "old" when I was 30, but that was just my conservative upbringing which taught that I should be wed and have children by 21. Now I realize that your age has a lot more to do with your attitude and the life you live.

**Texinator** · 09-16-2010 02:59 PM

I think it's something most people do. You're just starting out in life when you're 20 and don't have much reason to reflect on the past, but I'd say looking back whenever you reach a major milestone is fairly common.

My attitude is to pay attention to whether you have been enjoying your life and learning from the experiences. If not, what could you do differently over the next decade?

Just don't try to compare your life to other people your age. Everybody is different. Some people get married early and start a family, some focus on their careers, some have both, and some want to explore life without the attachment of either a family or a career. Whatever works best for you.

**Amber** · 09-16-2010 04:32 PM

I don't think I panicked when I turned 30. I'm in my mid-30's and I find myself panicking some now. I don't have the house, the guy, or the children. The career is not ideal but then I'm not sure I will ever find that ideal career.

the kids and guy, as much as you would love to, you can't really rush it. But start online dating to see who is out there if you want. But even more important, if you are serious about the career and that you want to do something different than what you are doing now, then there is no time than the present to see what you can do about it. That is if you can afford it. You can get degrees from college with online courses now a days, if you don't have time for evening classes.

**sourpuss** · 09-16-2010 08:52 PM

I turned 30, single, broke, crappy job, no children. It's not that big of a deal. I panic every year on my birthday, feeling like life is slipping by and I'll die alone with nothing to show for my years on the planet. But honestly, if you're happy and you have good people around you, what else is there? Enjoy it.

**WildChild** · 09-16-2010 10:37 PM

LOL Darlings
I started over with less than 0 at 50 and am slowly rebuilding. It will get better and better. You will find that as you mature you are less bothered by a lot of things and over 50 it gets better still. Keep learning, growing, and stay conscious in your choices. Don't settle, I did more than once and it is a big mistake. Don't get too caught up in what you "should" have. Who set those standards anyway?

Work hard, take time for fun. build freindships, stay active and healthy, all the rest is optional.

**Texasred** · 09-16-2010 10:42 PM

Are you kidding?
Sounds like you've lived the life most people just dream about, and now you're complaining that it wasn't enough?
Poor baby!
I get to go to the beach for a week, to the mountains for a week, and work like a dog the other 50 weeks - and I've been doing this for the past 40+ years: you're not getting any sympathy from me!

**WildChild** · 09-19-2010 08:42 AM

Leanna,

You need a different perspective. You have played and worked and explored. In the process I'm sure you have gained many skills and understandings that you may be over looking right now. There are lots of people who wish they had done/could do what you have. I bet if you sat down and made a list of all the things you have done, all the things you have learned, you will see that it is a long list. Do you Really want to have all the trappings of a conventional life? There is no reason you "have" to marry, have 2.3 kids, live in the burbs, drive an SUV, spray poison on your lawn, work 8 to 6 or get stuck in rush hour.

What interests you the most? What are you passionate about? What could you learn or do that would provide the lifestyle you want in adulthood? Because you haven't tied yourself down in conventionality you have tons of options. What do you really want? Where do you see yourself happy in 10 years?

**jns** · 09-19-2010 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by LeanaBrook

I realize I will get... "try 40!!" or try "60!!".... but seriously hear me out...! Turning 30 SUCKS!! This is when you REALLY sit down (or lay down or cry down) and say, "What did I do with my 20's??!!".
Many of you can say "I finished my degree". Some of you will say, "I sacrificed my degree for having a family... now I have children!". Or "I am happily married"! Others can even say "I built myself a career and now I am financially independent". I cant say ANY OF THAT!! I played all through my 20's. I taught snowboarding. I was a bartender. I served tables to work the bare minimum so I can drink and play on my days off. I was in and out of 5 or 6 relationships. I lived at the beach... i lived in the mountains... now what!? Now it's time for me to be an adult and I have nothing to build upon.
Was turning 30 hard for you guys...? Did you evaluate your life at 30 regardless of your choices... or do I REALLY have something to stress about?? I need to make some serious decisions like NOW. I now KNOW how quick 40 will be here...!! I swear I was 20 a few years ago...! 40 needs to be different... I need to either have children, a career, a husband, a degree, own a home or all the above...!

I would start on an education, if you are willing to get it. Start slowly at a community college until you know what you want to study and that you can handle the courses. If you have to work, do it in the evenings and on the weekends. Or during the weekday days if you work evenings or weekends. Become goal oriented as soon as possible.

Start exploring relationships that have longer term potential and are more serious. From what you did, I suspect you are still fairly athletic. Build on that image. Figure out what worked and what didn't work in your relationships. Figure how to smooth off your rough edges and what you don't want in a SO, then package yourself as the best person you can be and project that image. Be choosy.