Thread: New answer NOW please - very time senstive!!

Hope the date went well Amber! Hopefully this thread won't turn into a year-long one like the other... LOL

Originally Posted by kristalyn04

Hope the date went well Amber! Hopefully this thread won't turn into a year-long one like the other... LOL

seriouly Amber....just use common sense. A book that I recommend for everybody "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. It's not to scare anyone, but to make you more aware of what's going on around you. If it doesn't feel right to you don't do it. That goes for anything, use your intuition and listen to it.

Originally Posted by Amber

WC, I'm meeting him there in my own car. There is necessarily no reason for me to get in that car.

As for not caring for cars, I can fake that.

Why would you want to do that? People don't want to date themselves, sure its cool to share some common interests but not every single thing...its best to be YOURSELF, if you love cars great, if not, dont pretend to. You can be enthusiastic for his enthusiasm with whatever he's into without faking that you are equally passionate about the same thing. If he liked a music you didn't care for would you pretend to like it? Or what about food , what if he LOVES a food that makes you sick? Would you fake liking it to endure a stomach ache later?

I think its really starting things off on the wrong foot to fake anything when getting to know someone, then later if you guys start getting serious and you can no longer keep up with an interest in something you genuinly don't have... it will come across as decietful and make a person wonder if they fell in love with you or someone you were pretending to be.

I know we are just talking cars here, but I really think its important for you to be open minded and appreciative of what he's into and possibly willing to learn about something he cares about, but faking knowledge of something, faking passion about something... doesn't score any brownie points in the first place, he would much rather get to know amber as she is, even if she knows nothing about cars!!

Also, no... getting into his car doesn't mean you want sex with him, unless of course you want sex with him. Its transportation.

It's ok Hopeless. Maybe being enthusiastic about it is what I meant. I meant I could talk cars if I had to. That was not my problem. I just pulled the word fake out of the air to make it known I wasn't worried about that part.

And don't worry, I didn't say anything last night to make the guy think I liked it, just because he liked it. I couldn't find one thing we had in common. And I was finding him to be sort of peculiar. I'm trying to find a word that is not mean but fits what I sensed. I guess that word works best.

He was a half of an hour late, getting there because it took him longer than he expected to pick up the new car. And I honesty didn't hold that against him. He called to let me know and we hadn't bought tickets in advance. We caught the movie that started a half of an hour later.

So here we are at the movies. We are going to see The Social Network. He is already acting a little too much peculiar for my taste. And then coming attractions are playing and he is still talking off and on. I'm thinking that it would have been nice if he had shut up by now. But he hadn't. So when he started to talk out loud when the movies was starting, I wanted to throw something at him. That is so rude to the other people in the movie theater. i just nodded my head to whatever he was saying but would not talk myself. I think after a bit he got the hint.

To make only matters worse, I'm not having a good time so far, and the movie starts. The movie is filmed near Boston and they are showing sights that I had gone with my ex on dates. Some really wonderful dates and I couldn't help but wish he was sitting there right next to me. But I did my best to put that out of my mind and watch the movie, which I did enjoy. I never knew how Facebook was started. Dinner was after wards and that is where I discovered we had nothing in common.

And before I start to get some kind of lecture about thinking about my ex while being with this guy or comparing him to this other guy, let me explain. First off I went in there willing to give this guy a chance. Because I know my ex is the past and I'm trying to find the next guy. But this guy was a little too different for my taste. And he didn't have the kind of sense of humor that I liked. And he sort of board me some. But there are different qualities I look for in a guy and my ex had most of those qualities. Unfortunately he ended it because everything wasn't right but I still remember all of those good qualities in him. So when I look for a guy, I look for those same qualities. Maybe you can say I'm comparing this guy to my ex, but what I'm really doing is compare those qualities that I love to this guy. And my ex had them.

I could have tried for a second date but to be honest, I don't want to make the effort to do so. I have no desire to see what a second date would be like with this guy. I have no interest in him. It just makes me want to scream. I want to find the next guy so much! But my ex spoiled me when showing there are really guys out there with qualities I'm looking for. So I would be a fool to settle for a guy like I was with last night. Because other than nice, he had none of the qualities I'm looking for. He would probably make some other woman happy, just not me. And I'm not looking for a guy with everything on my list but he has to have some of the qualities that I'm looking for.

As for the car situation, he showed me his car, as I predicted. But it was actually good because he offered to show it while we were waiting for our table to be ready. We knew we had about 20 minutes to wait. I figured he couldn't really try something in that short of time. When he opened the door, I wouldn't get in the car. I just looked in and walked around the car to admire that.

And at the end of the date, when I knew I couldn't stomach another one, he walked me to my car. No way did I want a kiss from him. And to make matters a little worse, I had just had a glass of wine. He asks me if he could kiss me, and the wine was talking a little, I answer, no, I'll pass. Thank you. The way I said it was so nonchalant that maybe I could have been a little more sorry or kind about it but oh well. I told him that I'll probably see him at the singles event that is happening this week. And left it at that. I have no idea if I'm really going or not to that event.

I didn't come out and say that I would see him again so I'm hoping he got the hint. I'm not going back on my decision so I may need to come right out and say no, if it comes to that. But he didn't email me later last night or today, so i'm guessing he got the hint.

Oh, when I refused the kiss, he asked for a hug. I gave into that. He was taller than me and he probably should have bent down more. He didn't and it was plain awkward. I made some comment that that did not go right because I'm short. I probably should have said nothing but the wine was talking again. LOL Sorry, but trust me, it was not a good night.