New answer NOW please - very time senstive!!

**Amber** · 10-02-2010 10:40 AM

I go on the first date with this guy in two hours, so that is why I need an answer now please.

The guy has a new sports car. Personally, I don't really care about sports cars but this is besides the point, But I have a feeling he is going to suggest for me to take a ride in his car to show it off to me. If I get into that car, what message am I sending to him? Are we just checking out his car or am I sort of giving him permission to make a move on me?

Sorry but this is a first date. I barely know him and have no real idea what I think of this guy. I'm not going to make it that easy for him to make a move on me. If getting into that car is saying try to make a move on me, what excuse could I give him for not going for a ride with him?

**Amber** · 10-02-2010 10:43 AM

Actually meant Need answer now but that is what I get for typing quickly.

**WildChild** · 10-02-2010 10:56 AM

I think you are over thinking this.
It's transportation.
If it's special you can admire it, he is probably very proud of it. If you aren't really into cars don't pretend to be and start asking about the engine size but can comment on how nice he keeps it.
How do you expect to go out on a date without driving someplace with him?

**Amber** · 10-02-2010 10:58 AM

WC, I'm meeting him there in my own car. There is necessarily no reason for me to get in that car.

As for not caring for cars, I can fake that.

**WildChild** · 10-02-2010 11:01 AM

If you are uncomfortable getting into a vehicle with him don't - what kind it is in immaterial. If he asks if you want to go for a spin you can graciously suggest another time as you were looking forward to what you have already planned for the date.
Getting in a man's car is not analogous to agreeing to sex.

**Amber** · 10-02-2010 11:08 AM

ok, thanks wC. Just want to make sure. Because I learned the hard way that going to a guy's apartment to play cards will not lead to paper card playing. That was my first, the fwb guy. He didn't force me or anything like that. I wanted it but I stupidly didn't realize it was going to happen then. Until right before it happened.

So I was asking to make sure if getting in his car didn't mean that I was giving him reason, maybe not necessarily sex, but making out with me.

**WildChild** · 10-02-2010 11:17 AM

Making out can be fun and doesn't obligate you to sex but you have to set boundries you are comfortable with. Making out is an exploratory to seeing how sexually compatible you may be. It's go guarantee but can give you a pretty good clue. Those of us who regard sex as an important part of a relationship, tend to like to figure that out fairly early on.

**Amber** · 10-02-2010 11:42 AM

I do understand that but for me, it won't be happening on the first date. He will have to figure out if he likes the rest of me first before I let him find out if he is sexual compatible. Not nearly as long as I waited with my ex but at least a few dates. He may get a kiss out of me tonight if I decide that I like him and he likes me, but not more than that.

Thanks for you advise WC.

**jns** · 10-02-2010 11:47 AM

If you feel you will be obligated if you get in his car, demonstrate you are in control. Tell him the only way you will get in it is if you drive it. Then later maintain the control you have established. When you are not in a relationship with someone, there is no need to cede control, if you don't want to.