Stupid Suffering or Wise Suffering - What's the Difference?
Stupid Suffering or Wise Suffering - What's the Difference?
Doing some research.
What do you think?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Stupid Suffering has no thought, purpose, intention or end. Ex: being in the Pitty Pot
Wise Suffering is the exact opposite...it takes thought, has purpose, an intention and end. Ex: mourning the loss of a loved one.
For the record....WildChild you absolutely ROCK!
Stupid Suffering
* Makes it his/her choice to suffer, regret, beat himself/herself up and stays in that depressive state.
* Does not do anything about it. Decides it is what it is, it's the way things are.
* No initiative to make a change even little things about himself/herself.
Wise Suffering
* Accepts/acknowledges the reality of his/her current predicament.
* Evaluates the whole picture and does not get stuck in it.
* Stumbles, but always gets up and moves on no matter how difficult it could be.
* Recognizes his/her limitations, and works around them....uses his/her strengths to overcome
* Understands that his/her actions could determine his/her emotions and therefore does not loathe herself/himself
if he/she fails at any attempt to improve his/her life
and I could go on and on with my list....
WC.... don't choose to keep suffering for too long - you don't want to get old too soon.
Last edited by caterpillar79; 11-15-2010 at 02:27 PM.
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen
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WC - You wouldn't happen to be reading Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia, would you?
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wise suffering is usually involves some sort of sacrifice for a great situation in the future. Forethought and sacrifice.
Stupid suffering is usually just ignorance and/or martyrdom with no forward thinking.
Yes, again.Originally Posted by KMonte85
I got down in the dumps and decided I needed another dose.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Awee WC....
A wise woman,with a heart who is wild, and still a child at heart, suffers because whilst wise, her heart is bigger
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Wise suffering is suffering that is unavoidable in order to achieve some greater good or benefit to yourself or others. Stupid suffering is any other suffering.
There is some suffering that is unavoidable but still stupid - grief. Does no one any good, but difficult to avoid.
My thoughts....
Stupid suffering has no means other than to cause pain. To me, in many instances, stupid suffering is self inflicted by putting ourselves in situations that we know is negative for our wellbeing - not following your intuition, going against what you know is your path. It can also mean rehashing old suffering, or beating ourselves up, for things that happened in the past, things that we didn't have control over, constantly putting ourselves back in that place, not to work through the situation, but just to keep punishing ourselves.
Wise suffering is a learning experience. There will be times, that even following our intuition, we find ourselves in sad situations, ones that will try our minds. These are out of our control, and we suffer through them, but along the way we process it, we take in the suffering, we learn, and we emerge as a better, wiser version of ourselves. Sort of a spiritual metamorphasis.
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What is suffering? Well...we often think of it as pain, torture, distress, agony. But it ALSO can mean to "tolerate or allow". In the case of stupid suffering I think we have made a choice to tolerate or allow the source of the suffering to remain. We not only allow it to remain, we become dependant upon it as our source of self worth. Contradictory, the source causes us pain and gradually makes us LOSE self worth.. When we allow the source to remain, we find ourselves saying things like, "I know I deserve better than this". But really, at the end of the day, we say it in hopes we'll eventually believe it and when we close our eyes at night we do not truly believe we "deserve better than this". For if we believed it, we'd have enough faith to leave the source behind.
In addition to this, stupid suffering can be a result of the things I described above, in combination with stubborness and denial. Some of us can't stand to "lose"....and we view giving up on this suffering as "losing". So we push and push and push thinking we can FIX this, we can change it......but gradually, the source of the suffering causing our self worth to diminish and we find ourselves compromising things we said we never would, sacrificing things in our own lives we promised ourselves we wouldn't....just in order to keep this source in our lives so we don't have to "LOSE". Funny part is, those of us hard-headed stubborn as ox people are beyond smart enough to realize that we are in fact, losing every day we allow the source to remain. But we are hamsters on wheels....and tell ourselves we can't just stop.
Wise suffering......is quite the opposite.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
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