How not to care what other people think?

**Wiki_Panda** · 11-30-2010 08:07 AM

So...I was having a night in with 5 of my closest girl friends (wine, girly films, gossip) and it came up in conversation that they all think I care too much what other people think, especially when it comes to how I look and what I do.

My question is, how on earth do you stop caring about what other people think of you?

**ItsASecret** · 11-30-2010 08:22 AM

Keep your head held high and pretend you are impervious to damaging words. It is not easy, and the world will not stop just because a person ask for comments (example) to stop. The thing you do not want to do is rebel, if they make a comment about how you dress do not go on the "well well you think I look like a (insert word like frump, grandma, s***, hooker or any other word) then I will totally do that to make you keep thinking that"-while feeling so hurt because the words do hurt. Another thing not to necessarily do is do the total opposite, if they make a comment about you looking frumpy for deciding to be comfy in a baggy sweater and sweats for example, and you go ahead and put on 5 inch stilettos and a skimpy dress 2 sizes too small (when you normally are not comfortable doing so) they are going to know that you are just putting up an image to try and "prove them wrong". It is a tough situation to try and ignore people. I mean honestly it is what everyone should do but if the comments continually happen or you continually keep thinking that someone would think badly of a decision you made those things eat away at you and only make things worse.

**Texinator** · 11-30-2010 09:01 AM

Everybody has a different opinion on things, and no matter how you act or how you look, there'll be those who like you and those who don't. Trying to please everyone is an impossible task and therefore a waste of time and energy. You might as well use that time and energy for yourself.

That doesn't mean you should run around being a jerk to everyone or looking like a complete slob. There is a difference between someone who doesn't try to please everyone around them and someone who goes out of their way to be coarse and objectionable.

Me, I've got a very dirty sense of humor, for example. Some people think it makes me childish and perverted and others think it's funny. I could drop it and be more 'respectable' for the former group, but the latter would then consider me boring. More importantly, 'behaving' myself like that would go against my nature. So I'll keep the humor. On the other hand, I also know there is a time and a place for it. I don't crack dirty jokes in the middle of a business meeting or when there are little kids around, for instance.

**caterpillar79** · 11-30-2010 11:53 AM

Be confident, believe in yourself and mind your own business.

That's what I do. I guess, it's not that difficult for me because I'm already anti-social, I keep to myself much and I just have a limited time - span for interaction with people, excluding my spouse, who calls me a sociable introvert.

I believe it has a lot to do with your personality. How you get to feel more satisfaction relating with other people. How would you describe yourself? Are you more of an extrovert, or an introvert?

**Wiki_Panda** · 11-30-2010 01:29 PM

I'm in two minds about whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert. I'm very extrovert when I get to know people, and I love the interaction I get with the people I work with (I'm a student nurse). But my b/f often says I have trouble getting to know new people. This is somewhat true, like most people I come out of my shell when I get to know people. Even with some of the people I have come out of my shell with, I still find that I care alot about what they think of me...is this necessarily a bad thing?

I must admit I do have trouble with the whole being confident thing...I'm proud of things I have accomplished, but still find I stir at the floor when I walk, instead of looking people in the eye.