when is it ok to lie ?

**Seeker_Advice** · 12-12-2010 06:12 AM

I'd rather die knowing that my daughter is gone, then die wondering if I was lied to or not...

**WildChild** · 12-12-2010 07:19 AM

I believe in being honest but that has different faces. I don't believe in being brutally honest in most cases. You can be diplomatic with things like the unfortunate fashion choice and say, "That's different". or "Is that what you wanted?"

If you can't be honest with someone, why are you close to them? If you have to tiptoe around them, if they are so touchy that you can't be truthful or prone to anger, then you need to rethink how you interact. Or if you should be interacting. I've caught myself in this situation. When I realise that a freind or SO requires constant kid gloves or that I am manipulating conversation to avoid some sort of backlash from them, it is time to re-evaluate that relationship.

As for the life in the balance, telling them the truth about the death of a child, I think you would have to base that on the person. If the concern is that telling them might literally kill them at that time, it might be best to divert the question and get them sedated. For myself, I don't fear death and would want the truth.

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-12-2010 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by sidneyalive

Well it might be ok to lie if it works to your advantage, cheating is never right...

I think the opposite... I think all lies can work the liars advantage and most are said for that purpose, personal gain... but its the ones that benefit the person being lied to that can sometimes be acceptable in my book...as long as its not something the other party has every right to hear the truth about.

For example your s.o has on something that they feel beautiful wearing and ask you what do you think?? Its not your favorite but you say, its lovely on you... thats totally acceptable in my book. If she comes out with toilet paper stuck to her shoe and says ... what do you think?? I think lying to her that she's fabulous while she has toilet paper dragging behind her is not exactly to her benefit lol.

The merky part is some people cheat and think telling their partner will 'harm' them more than keeping it hush, and I think although that may be true.. its something they have every right to know, whether its hurtful or not, like the toilet paper stuck to the shoe, hearing it up front would be far less painful and humiliating that finding it out from others down the road.

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