Career orientated Women

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-30-2010 02:06 PM

I think it's fair to state that there are women who love to tend to the household, have children and be a stay at home mum, that's their calling..

AND, there are women who choose career over babies, having children later in life, experiencing the business world (now that you men have let us in

) or not having children at all, or having them but due to double income, hire assistance or daycare...

I'm curious if this changes how a woman acts, her attitudes in life, confidence, maybe...

If your a stay at home Mum, do you live your life mostly at home? No hobbies, not a lot of interaction with people, less confidence because you don't go out as much, dress up? Or do you...

And, if your career orientated, do you love nothing more than to come home and do nothing, chuck the tracky dacks on, or do you still attend to all the household and does interacting all day with people, give you more confidence within yourself...

I'd like to add my bits in but I would like to hear how you view your life and also if you would change it...

Obviously most know I'm career orientated

**ItsASecret** · 12-30-2010 02:50 PM

I may not be done school but to me my personal self confidence does come in the form of what I accomplish career wise. I am one of the women who will not be a stay at home mom. Spending $40,000-$50,000 to have three letters, BSc, behind my name is not going to be used wiping ketchup from my baby's face or using a swiffer sweeper on the kitchen floor at home all day. I will use swiffer in my laboratory maybe lol but I value what I accomplish and I do not want to be spending so much money and time only to stay at home with the kid. That is not to say I would not love spending time with my baby but I would need that work life, that sense of career accomplishment in order to keep me happy. Coming home to my baby and my husband would just be the cherry on top because I know that I would be happy with my job and coming home to relax is just another area to be happy in. Though I would probably have to remind hubby that the trash needs to be taken out before I come home I would still end up doing the household chores. Not because he wouldn't help but because I like to do things like keep things tidy and cook supper. I know my husband would split the chores with me so I would not be coming home to the burden of stress with more work to do. My career would shape my confidence and how I act. I am not a social person though so I would likely not be a busy bee organizing diner parties or going out whenever I have free time. I like the quiet life.

**LanaBear** · 12-30-2010 03:03 PM

How about the best of both worlds?

I got married young and had my first baby when I was 24 and my second at 29. However, I've always worked. I'm a professional in a very very male dominated field but I'm highly respected and requested, I make good money and although we have dual incomes, I'm the "bread winner" so to speak.

I do now and always have done a bit of juggling. Has it been easy? Nope. Rewarding? Yes. But my kids have never suffered. I was lucky enough to be able to have flexible hours and work from home when necessary when they were younger. They did go to day care, but I honestly think that it has contributed a great deal to how outgoing they both are. Do things suffer because I work? Sure, my house is clean, but it is not spotless. I've had to learn to let things go and learn that house work can be put off during the week to spend more quality time with my children who are now 10 and 5. The nature of my job, though, I do sometimes have to work odd hours, for example, I will be pretty much working all weekend long because of some issues (bye bye 3 day weekend), however, I work from home so I'm still able to do things. Though, still, some evenings, it's all I can do not to pass out. After working all day, homework, soccer, football, reading, baths/showers, dinner, etc. It's just craziness.

Working from home is different though because as much as I talk on the phone, e-mail or IM with people all day long, I don't have that face to face interaction. In that sense, I'm kind of like a stay at home mom. But both my kids are now in school, so I walk them to the bus stop every morning and I'm there when they get home, so in that sense it is the best of both world's. I satisfy my thirst for being successful and satisfy my thirst for being an awesome mom.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 12-30-2010 03:20 PM

My girlfriend and I were just discussing this yesterday. Thanks to facebook we're able to keep up with a lot of the people we went to school with. We're both amazed at how many of the girls we graduated with are stay at home moms with 2 or 3 kids, no education after high school, no out of the home work experience. I know that kind of life cannot be a walk in the park and though those women are ALWAYS posting every move their children make, I often wonder if they could change things, even for a while, would they? Most of them never do anything with friends, never get to dress up and go to a party, or spend an evening out enjoying a few drinks. There ARE most certainly exceptions to that. At a work conference recently, a girl that came along who is my age (late 20's) has been married for 8 years and has twin girls that are almost 2. She was so thrilled to be at this conference, to be able to shower as long as she wanted, take naps, have peace and quiet. Granted, she works full time, but I've found her reaction to this work trip was very typical of women my age who are married and have a few little ones running around. I know moms love their children to no end........but I often wonder, is being a stay at home mom all it's cracked up to be?

If I ever marry and have children, I can see myself wanting to possibly stay at home for a bit while my kids were babies. And even if I chose to give up my career to be a stay at home mom, it would be after a bachelors, after an MBA, and after 6-10 years of work experience. This time in my life to be me, to build who I am, to LEARN who I am, to enjoy peace and quiet, to come and go as I please has been so very important and I think will make me a better mother and a better wife if that time comes.

**BasketCase** · 12-30-2010 03:43 PM

I don't really feel like I fit into either one of these catagorys, but what the heck I will put my two cents in anyway

I have no intention of having children. I was talking to my husband today and I grabed his belt and said "Let's make babies" as a joke. He said "Is that a threat?". That kinda got the conversation of children started up. We both feel really weird about children, and I have always had the sixth sense that I can't have them anyway. It's strange and I can't really explain it (we still use BC, I take no risks) . But I think being a housewife without children could be very fulfilling. But only if you had hobbies and a constant string of projects. And a really active social life. As for a career I can't really wrap my head around the idea of devoting most of my time and energy into one project. I think I no matter how happy I am with my job I will always be the one that clocks out the second I can and runs home.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-30-2010 04:17 PM

What's interesting is all that have replied, are career orientated to a degree or want quality time...

I also had that sixth sense that children weren't going to be on my agenda, from a very young age, not because I didn't love them, I made an awesome Aunty, or that I didn't have a couple if "phantom pregnancies" that made me feel that feeling of being pregnant, nor that my ex, changed his mind once we married, whereby I thought, I would have 1 child, then torn between how un-fair that can be, with no siblings, and me still being career minded, but I did know that I would one day have a step child....again, from an early age....and that I'd be married twice

I think it can be overwhelming if we as women, work, then come home and work and I think men can be lazy

If you take over and forget that there has to be a little bit of shared responsibilities..... Which I'm guilty of...

I also work from home Lana, and I have to say, it's rewarding, you can put washing on, and work at the same time, etc....

We share the cooking, or often CD takes over, he'll iron his Chef's tops and do washing, predominately I do the rest unless I ask for help..

There's a balance I guess.

I definately agree and think, that being out there socialising makes you more social and therefore, your dress sense is not always tracky's and your confidence is higher due to ineraction...

It seems that maybe it's true, that a stay at home mum gets excited at any prospect of interacting, dressing up and lives through their children, forgetting themselves, whereby career orientated people, have maybe more goals? More understanding of equality? And, more opportunities to feel like a woman so therefore, more confident...

I would love some stay at home mums (that don't work from home haha) to reply, to see if they do indeed spend their life at home, more so and live through their children and don't get out much, dress up much, interact much and feel less confident as a result...

CW