Thread: friendship problems i need advice

ok well two of my friend and i had the same "milestone birthdays" this year, now one was in september so i can kinda let her off the hook but the one was only a week before mine.

now it all started on my friends bithday whose was the week before mine. the plan was to go for a meal then go out clubbing, however, being short of money i told her i could only come for the meal, and i bought her a present (bought the one in september a present too). anyway.. during the meal she begged me to come out saying she would pay, now before this i have NEVER let anyone pay for me, but after a bottle of wine i though why not, when i had money i paid for my friends to come out on numerous occasions, and even paid for this particular one at lease 5 times, probably more. so we all went home got changed and meet in town centre, where she asked me how much money id need and i told he twenty would be pleanty.

night went well, and then came my birthday, my plan was to go out to town in the night of the acctual day (thursday) and then have a house party on the sat. thursday comes and only 4 out of 8 people show up now the friends whose birthday it was a week before did come but ended up going home before tweleve as "she had work" i personally think she didnt like the bar we where in, because she goes out all the time when shes got work. anyway i was pissed off but thought ive got sat so i cant really complain. Then sat comes, NONE of my friends turn up they all cancel with lame accuses throughout the day, i ended up drunkly telling my family all night what **** friend i have. but then thats life isnt it!

so because my friend whose birthay it was the week before didnt go to the house party we arranged to meet up a few weeks latrer for dinner. i have to say i was more then a little dissapointed when i didnt recieve a present or even i card off her, she didnt even mention it. now i no what your thinking you dont give to recieve but come on, it was the week before, and ive known her for ten years! or maybe your thinking she was short on money and felt embarrased to say. NOT THE CASE! the year before she told me she only had money to either come out with me or buy me a present, and i choose come out, so surly she woulda done the same this year.

anyway went home and sulked a little but then i remembered the twenty pound, and relised she must of gave me that as a birthday present, bit disapointed that she didnt return the favour of paying for me now she had money and i was skint, but thought "aww well never mind"

THEN wedenesday just gone, i get a drunken text message from her saying she needs the twenety pound she lent me back! what part of ill pay for you is lend please????? well i felt awfull i txt back saying i dont have any money at the moment but ill borrow off family and get it back to u asap, which she said ok to.

now i no all my friends will have been talking about me and how ive been avoiding given her the money back,(alought i didnt realise it was meantto be getting paid back) becoz ive heard them ***** about other people, but i truly had no idea she wanted it back. but i also feel like ive had the **** taken out of me badly! i bought them presents and the other friends i at least made the effort to go out for there birthdays, ive gave them money, ive drove them home, ive done loads stuff i knowthey wouldnt do for me, and i get nothing in return. feel like ive been **** on. the only get in touch when they want something) i mean if i wouldnt of bought the friend a present i would of had the money to go out, but it was a big brthday and thought it would be nice to have a present, and expected the same in return.

so heres my problem, whta do i do, do i say something to my friend of ten years, about not getting a present or card, not in a nasty way tho or do i just forget it. my nan says give her the money back and forget her, my boyfriend says just keep putting off giving her the money back because at least that way shes not gettin one over on me. but me with my big mouth want to have it out with her, because it keeps going round n round in my head! but really i dont think its such a good idea. or give her the money all in small change!

please help me a need a girls advice and ive got noone else to ask, for the record tho they are **** friends would drop you in a second for a lad but would ***** about you if you did it to them! but theve all ive got, so what do i do?

ive decided to just give her the money back and leave it at that, i dont think theres anyway to say "wheres my birthday present" without it sounding funny, theres no point causing trouble, specially seeing as there the only group of friends ive got and there all likly to side with her, and like you side there good if i need drinking buddys ect. just not going go give anymore,ill go out when i want to go out and not when they need me. thanx for the advice