Thread: finding something meaningful to do

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

If you started in a scientific field and plan on grad-school, at some point you must have been motivated by science. What changed? Did it not live up to your expectations of did your interests change. Is your lab job interesting, or is it just drudgery? Is it the sort of place where they will let you do more interesting work if you show the interest and ability? Can you say what type of lab it is and / or why it feels useless?

What feels important to you - what excites you?

To answer your question - I enjoy my job, so I often work at it after a normal work day is over. Otherwise I like to talk with friends. I also like to hike in the mountains and travel around the world.

How I got to my current emotional state and unhappiness at work is a very long story... lots of factors. But basically:
(1) I do not enjoy the project I am working on - I personally do not find it interesting or important
(2) I do not like my mentor in the lab, I've gone through many many problems with him and he treats me very condescendingly (and this has come at an unfortunately tough time for me, where I started in the lab with an already lowered self-esteem...)
(3) I am far away from all my friends and family, and I feel like I'm just stuck in this new place all by myself... and it's significantly harder for me to meet people now that I am out of school and most people in lab (who are the only people I really interact with) aren't really the kind of people I can hang out with after work... (most of them are already in the next phase of their lives; already married with a kid or two)

About (1) and (2), I've consulted some people, and I've come to the conclusion that given my position, I can't do much about changing the project or the mentor at this point... unless I just quit the job altogether.

It's also kinda hard for me because my work, by nature, doesn't really allow me to have a 40-hour work week. It's rare that I finish in 8 hours on a given day. Often, I come home, cook and eat dinner, and it's almost 9pm. At that point, I am mentally and physically tired, and it makes me sad that I didn't get to do anything besides my work... I also don't have the energy or the motivation to do much else, even if I don't go to bed right away at 9pm... so I end up wasting time online, not getting anything done, which then makes me feel even more useless...

I'm having a really difficult time coming up with what feels important to me... something that I feel strongly towards enough that I can muster up the energy to work towards it... (and that fact alone kinda scares me because I feel aimless)

Originally Posted by WildChild

Many towns and cities have local orchestras or concert bands that you could join.
Habitat for Humanity
Volunteer at a local school to tutor, they need help not only for learning challenged kids but for the really bright ones too.
Volunteer at an adult education program
Take a dance class
Try Yoga
Tantra
Join the local Keep Your City Beautiful group

Thanks for the ideas. I missed the opportunity this season, but I might try out for orchestras in the fall indeed. I might also look into contacting some local high schools and seeing if they need a tutor... or even looking at online websites that offer tutoring (for pay or not). I liked tutoring and working as a teaching assistant during college...

I'm really sorry you are stuck in this sort of situation. I also wish Private Messages worked here for people with fewer posts. I may have some suggestions on your lab work situation if I had more information, but you probably don't want more details in an open google-searchable post and I can't say much more other than that I think I am in a related line of work.

It is really unfortunate to have a bad mentor - there are some very good ones out there, but some aren't. Can you tell if he is intentionally condescending, or just not very good at it? Many places do not provide good training for mentors and it takes a while for them to figure out how the system works. A new student / trainee / assistant usually arrives with a lot of enthusiasm and a lot of ability, but not much experience. It is easy to mistake lack of experience for lack of innate ability, or to not be able to figure out how to help the student gain experience without being condescending.

It is easy for lab work to seem unimportant. Some really is not important. Other work is actually valuable, but it may not be obvious why unless it is explained how it fits into the larger picture of what is going on.

Long work days are often part of many jobs - and they are fine if you feel excited about the project, but just misery if you do not.

I'm sending you a (non private) message to your account - I think you can respond to it, if not let me know here if you want more contact.

I don't know if you are Male or Female, not that that matters, except for the gender of my Reply here.

Since you like Tutoring and have some experience in it, I'm taking it that you like Kids or young people ? Maybe you can Join the Big Brothers/ Big Sisters group, or even volunteer at the local Boys and Girls Club. Either of those are very satisfying as you are helping to mold young people.