Maid of Honor Dilemma

**ccraig42** · 06-12-2011 12:25 AM

I made my best friend maid of honor because, well, she's my best friend. However, one of my bridesmaids are being way more helpful and supportive. I'm thinking of making her my maid of honor but don't know how to do so without hurting my best friend's feelings. Suggestions?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-12-2011 02:43 AM

There is nothing wrong with a "bridesmaid" in my opinion acting like a maid of honor, she's excited for you, wants to be a part of it, different personalities

In my opinion, thank her, spoil her but don't change what you've already promised because you may very well lose your friend, and as she is your "best friend" accept her for who she is, she may be nervous, busy or doesn't know exactly what to do, have you told her? Because otherwise this other girl wouldn't be there doing it with you if you already delegated

**Little.Chuck** · 06-12-2011 05:55 AM

Maybe she is not excited about it yet because it's early days? When are you getting married? I think she will be very excited nearer to the time.

As CW said, its not a good idea to change your mind right now. Give her a chance to get excited and get involved. Maybe if things don't change you can have a word with her and tell her you may have to make somebody else maid of honour unless she pulls her weight.

**ccraig42** · 06-12-2011 09:09 AM

Thank you all! CW you make a good point about her not knowing what to do. I'll give her some time and see how things go.

**ccraig42** · 06-12-2011 10:00 AM

Ok someone else broke it down to me. I'm not trying to be a psycho bride I promise

But I shouldn't be making this an hierarchy. I love my best friend and wouldn't trade her for the world!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-12-2011 02:26 PM

Google what's expected from a maid of honour well you probably know but do that anyway and what's expected from a bridesmaid and then write those things down and delegate and include both in something as well

It's all about being a bossy bride honest it is

JKng

**Little.Chuck** · 06-12-2011 02:36 PM

I like CW's suggestion. Maybe you could print the information out and discuss it with both over coffee/lunch, then they can take the information with them if they want to?

**Seeker_Advice** · 06-13-2011 11:46 AM

A male's perspective...

What does being your best friend, being your maid of honor and how much "stuff" she does or doesn't do have to do with anything?

Your best friend is your best friend. Choosing her as your maid of honor recognizes her or "honors" her as such. The fact that one of the other girls in your wedding party is "doing more work" or whatever, to me, is irrelavent.

Continue to "honor" your BFF and allow the other girl(s) in your wedding party to do whatever she doesn't do.

Do you really care who does what as long as it gets done?

Just my opinion.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 06-13-2011 12:20 PM

My cousin made her sister maid of honor, but I did most the planning, the running here and there to grab this and that, and even gave the toast at the reception. I didn't mind. Neither did my cousin, the maid of honor.

Don't make it about rules, or about a heirarchy (like you already mentioned). The only rules, are the ones you make....and I see little need for any.

On that note, you've GOT to go see Bridesmaids if you want to laugh your absolute hiney off. Take your bridesmaids and go see!!