I'm a little miffed at hubby

**chaya** · 06-25-2011 06:44 PM

When I first moved in with him, before we were married, I asked him to fix up the hot tub in the backyard. He hadn't used it since he bought the house 2 years before. Several times I reminded him that i would like to get it cleaned up and working and he always said he would get to it soon.

My sister is here for a 2 month visit. Last night she asked him if the hot tub worked, he said it needed cleaning and some work. Today, he is outside working on the hot tub. I tried to get him to do that for 9 months and my sister mentions it once and he gets to work. Could it be that he wants to see her in the hot tub? I know I shouldn't be, but I'm mad.

**kristalyn_04** · 06-25-2011 06:49 PM

I don't think it has anything to do with wanting to see your sister in the hot tub. It has to do with being courteous and accommodating to a house guest. Does this mean he shouldn't pay attention to your needs and wishes? Of course not, so you do have reason to be upset. Cool off a bit, then you should have a talk with him.

**Mes T** · 06-25-2011 07:44 PM

I agree with the above, it's probably just a case of wanting to appear a certain way to guests/friends/OTHER PEOPLE.

Quite a few times I've heard girlfriends complain about their boyfriends being so nice and sociable and accommodating towards friends/co-workers/people they meet on a night out. And then they come home and completely shut down, don't pay any attention to their girlfriends, because they figure they "don't need to."

I think it's like that.

**Texinator** · 06-25-2011 08:07 PM

Yeah, I don't think it has anything to do with wanting to see her in a bikini. But for some people, pleasing others is more important than pleasing their significant other, simply because they think they've already "sold" themselves to their SO but they still need to make an effort to win the approval of those other people.

**chaya** · 06-25-2011 08:51 PM

For a very short time I think I was jealous of my sister because she had got hubby to do something I couldn't. Then I realized that was completely ridiculous. He didn't finish the hot tub. I have to go out and get some filters tomorrow so he can finish. I think me and sissy can do that between our walks down the boardwalk and lunch at the Marine Room at La Jolla cove.

**Texinator** · 06-25-2011 09:32 PM

He probably would've done the same if it had been someone other than your sister. But at least you finally have your hot tub; better late than never.

**JadedQueen** · 06-26-2011 04:09 AM

I think it's a guy thing... and wanting to accomodate a guest/friend etc... I think the female equilivant (sp?) would be wearing sweats, no make up around the house but when she goes out shopping she wears nicer clothing, make up, fixes her hair etc...
I don't think it has any relation to your sister.... he would have probably reacted the same way if it were your Mother that asked him to fix the hot tub.... even though I don't think he meant any harm by it.... he still should have fixed it for you when you asked on more than one occasion.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 06-26-2011 09:30 AM

More of a "Shoot, I was supposed to do that for chaya forever ago. Nows a good time to get on it so her and her sister can enjoy it."

**WildChild** · 06-26-2011 10:09 AM

Well, look at what he did for the guest room so his mother would be comfortable there. Your guest bed is better than your bed. Are we seeing the beginning of a pattern here? He wants others to be happy and comfortable and that is a good thing. You can work with this, When he's dragging his heels on getting something done I'll bet that mentioning that a guest will notice it or appreciate it will get him moving.