Thread: Forgiveness - Is it Real?

Originally Posted by chaya

As a Buddhist I believe that anyone that harms another living being is immature.
We also believe that it is natural for the immature to harm others. Getting angry with them is like resenting a fire for burning. So, there is nothing to forgive.

I couldn't have said it better.

This is the part that confuses me. We'll keep the fire metaphore. If you get burned, you put the fire out and have a new understanding of what fire can do. How do you live harmoniously with the person who started the fire after that? I know trust is tied in there too.

How do you live harmoniously with the person who started the fire after that?

Not only live harmoniously with the person, but live peacefully within yourself? This is where I struggle. If the hurt is deep enough, I can say I forgive, but really deep down in me I never truly feel that I've actually forgiven. Moved on, yes....but forgiven, no.

I brought this up with my friend today. We went back and forth over it for a bit, but it's so tied into emotions and you can't really control that. You can work on them and try, but in the end, you feel how you feel.

She said, you can't just say 'I forgive you', and it's done, but you can pray for the willingness to forgive. She says it helps open your heart to it instead of keeping closed off from the possibility.

If fire burns you, then you either extinguish the fire or at least move away from it. Staying close to the fire while it continues to burn means you'll continue to get burned.

Not a great idea to continue getting burned, unless you're Homer Simpson. Doh!