Guy in need of some advice

**dh05** · 11-07-2011 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by Claret

I also need to warn you that some of the medical options of restoring hair does nothing for your libido. The medications have that as a side effect. You could have something done surgically (implant plugs, grafting etc) but that is very pricey and time intensive. It is no guarantee that further hair loss will not happen.
For one night, put your insecurities aside, go out with the intent of meeting an interesting person, (no hook up) and just focus on being yourself and focus on the other person. See where having fun gets you.

yes, i know...I've looked into the side effects of the medication. It is a risk. I naturally have a high libido (probably what makes this all so much harder) and while I'm not keen on losing that, I'm sick of worrying about my hair falling out - it's just something that I can't put out of my mind because I don't feel like either option is better than the other...keep it longer/keep it short...same thing it still doesn't look good. Plugs/transplant wouldn't work for me - I've checked and my hair isn't the right 'type' for it.

Just out of interest, why do you say 'no hook up'?

**BabyGirl** · 11-07-2011 09:09 AM

Ok Trying to give a little " Visual and Possibly in Perspective" here

He is a pic ( First one ) of my oldest Son.
His..
Metallica/ Guns and Roses Head Banging Hard Rock/ ACDC and whatever other Band Days. And Yes He Crossed his eyes on Purpose lol

What was Your First Visual Impression on that pic ?

Stoner, Band Member, goofy for Crossing Eyes, Evil, Helter Skelter type look and for not Smiling ???

Be Honest , FIRST IMPRESSION ??

Did you notice it was Christmas time, that he had new Jeans on,that he had a TV Remote in his hand and was watching TV , but got up so the Pic could be taken ?
That the Picture in frame above and Right of the Tree, is the Lords Prayer ?

Now.. Think Short Hair or even Shaven.

Can you see the Receding Temple Hairline ? Or are you looking at the Scars that are from putting in a Titanium Plate from his Second Brain Surgery , see the Scars & Stitches, it looks like a Flap door for a Cat or Dog to get out .

Now Be Honset.. What did you see there ?

Was it someone who was hurt and had Surgery, was It Scary to see Scars and Stitches, was it your First Impression, That " Poor Guy ". Or Ewww ?

Well, he wakes up every morning, with those scars, he looks in the Mirror, Brushes his hair ( if he has it at the Time )

Now Know that Both Pic's have been taken after his original Brain Surgery.

So the Long Haired Head banging one or the Check up Dr'. Photo to make sure everything heals one, are both the same Man.

Just in Different Modes or Appearances
He is almost 37, has no Teeth, No Dentures that Fit, and he smiles just like you and I. Smiles when Happy, very Helpful, ready to help Anyone that needs it. ( to his own Risk ).

And You dh05.
Showed Pic's and I could not Judge you by any Photo you shared. Probably because I have one that I do not Judge by Looks, Only his Actions.

You looked like you were having fun on a Vacation, on a Boat or Tour Boat .
So there it is . look at how much " Worse " you can " Imagine" you look to yourself and Others .
Or just get up, shower, shave,dress and Get Ready for the World to Accept you ! Balding, Bald, Scarred, Tattoo's, amputated arm.,leg, fingers.

And most likely, if it runs in your family, you may Lose hair at a younger than Normal age. Just learn to GQ it ..

**Claret** · 11-07-2011 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by dh05

yes, i know...I've looked into the side effects of the medication. It is a risk. I naturally have a high libido (probably what makes this all so much harder) and while I'm not keen on losing that, I'm sick of worrying about my hair falling out - it's just something that I can't put out of my mind because I don't feel like either option is better than the other...keep it longer/keep it short...same thing it still doesn't look good. Plugs/transplant wouldn't work for me - I've checked and my hair isn't the right 'type' for it.

Just out of interest, why do you say 'no hook up'?

I say no hook up because that will probably take some tension out of your evening. The will she, will she not, does she, doesn't she like me enough. Just keep it casual with no expectations.

**dh05** · 11-07-2011 11:50 AM

BabyGirl - Yeah I know...your son looks fine to me. His scars don't look bad - but I hope he's ok.

Claret - ok thanks for clarifying.

I think I'll just shave it again and deal with the bad comments/less positive reactions from women - it's inevitable that I'll lose it all soon anyway and I'm sick of wasting my time looking in the mirror and watching it fall out. I'll try it for a month and if If I really hate it then maybe I'll try the medication. Not ideal, but such is life aye

!!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-07-2011 01:22 PM

Funny thing is Babygirl, I think you son looks handsome without all that hair, I looked at his eyes

And, OP that's the thing, for Babygirl to post that, she was trying to make you see, reallly see however I think you've become obsessed with this to the extent that you only want a fix it, and the only fix it, honestly is always and only going to be your mentality.

Yay, I don't have to brush it everyday anymore.
Yay, I look cute but maybe number 1 is not cool, too dudelike
Yay, so what women, you are superficial if you don't like my hair
Yay, so you love to run your hands across my spikes huh
Yay, it is actually kind of cool I like who I am and that's all that matters, geez it's only hair

**BabyGirl** · 11-08-2011 06:02 AM

Thanks, he has had this " head " since he was 19.. now 37.

He's tried Different hair styles to cover scars or receding hair ,
Trying to Cover up where Hair cannot ever Grow again . After awhile , he just realized this is his Head, his hair and that his personality is what counts.

One year he donated 7 inches of pure untreated hair to the "Locks for Love" to the kids and adults that need ( or want) Wigs to cover up the bald head from Chemo & such. So even though his Looks aren't that good looking Gentleman's Quarterly/ Movie Star type, He has a Heart of Gold and that is what attracts people to him, He has tons of friends and has even had girlfriends.

And dh05, CW is right, if a Girl judges you for only your looks, she isn't delving deep enough to see your soul.

Also, you probably will go bald in later years. So What ? Most men do bald or thin Drastically as they age. Maybe you could go visit a Senior Citizen home,and talk to some men that have been through what you are going through. Get some insight as to how they handled it ?

And CW, I also prefer his shorter hair look, He has Nice eyes when he's not goofing off and just lets the smile show in his eyes.

**dh05** · 11-08-2011 10:31 AM

Ok, thanks for your advice.

Really, I'm at a stage in life where I don't even care if a woman is only judging me superficially - I don't want to feel like I have to settle down right now after my previous relationship. I just want to look my best really and feel relaxed without having to worry about things like this (unfortunately most 3/4 of guys dont even have any hair loss before they're 30).

So yeah, if anyone else wants to comment on what style would suit me best in their opinion then feel free (either shave it, or keep it lober and have obvious bald spot and receded hairline)...otherwise, I'm out of here.

Thanks again for your help.