New experience, now curious HELP!

**Shinester** · 01-10-2012 11:40 AM

Ok, I want to get this out all in one shot. I know to most of you ladies the penis size subject makes you want to bang your head against the wall and seems like beating a dead horse but maybe this can clarify not only for me but other curious men out there.

I will start off by saying PLEASE do not sugar coat your opinions and hit me (men) right between the eyes with the truthful way you feel according to what I will express.

I have been with my gf for five years now, relationship awesome. Both 31 yrs old , she 4'11" petite 95lbs, me 6', athletic 180lbs, (don't mean to be graphic); 5"/5.5" x 1.5" thick mood depending, had to get that out there.
In the beginning sex was frequent 3-4 times a week and she could not get enough, now obviously real life sets in, kids, jobs and tiredness became a factor so it's more like an average twice a month. Although still great sex twice a month six months ago I decided to add toys to our lovemaking. I purchased three different sizes not knowing how she would react to either one ( 3",5" and 6"). The following time we started to fool around in bed I brought them out, she was surprised but had an open mind. Not rushing into anything I started off slow so during oral (which i love) I used the skinny 3", she wasn't interested, then I used the 5" almost identical to my penis she got very aroused and reached orgasm quickly ! Later we talked about the new toy and she told me it was great but didn't need it and would rather have the real thing. Understandable, and somewhat expected. The next time around I used the 6" (1" thicker than me) and took her a bit to get relaxed enough to take it in, after she warmed up to it for about 5 minutes she got really aroused the most I've seen and shortly after she had her biggest orgasm ever. Again we talked about it and her answer was the the same "she liked it but preferred the real thing". So after that I didn't bring them out for a while and still have had great sex without them. Now the reason this is all interesting to me is because two weekends ago I brought out the 5" again during oral, she loved it for about 5five minutes or so then I switched to the thicker one directly after and she had an explosive orgasm, better than she ever had with just me. Once again we talked about it and still same answer "she preferred mine". Interesting part is I tried once again last weekend and she wanted no part of them and asked me to throw them away! So I did. Is she telling me the truth "likes the real me" or is there more to it she's not telling me? Seems to me she had the most enjoyment over the larger one but yet "prefers me"? Curious andI don't understand this?? Can someone explain or relate?? I am not insecure and i am confident, not owning a porn star penis but according to "statistics" I'm in the "average" penis size area. I have never really been concerned anymore than the next guy about his size but this brought up an interesting curiosity for me because honestly I found that this was surprisingly a turn on for me and have found myself disappointed this may no longer happen. Her reasoning is my curiosity !

This started bringing up memories of things I have heard women say in the past. Several women in a group girl talking. A question was raised that if you were to cheat or have a one night stand would they seek a bigger penis or someone similar to their current guy? 9 out of 10 said "they would upgrade to a bigger penis". What is the reasoning for wanting a bigger penis in a one night stand situation vs. having just casual sex with someone different? This leaves me to think that in some way a woman believes bigger is better. Help me understand this or shed some light on this as this is a bit confusing??

I started looking in to opinions and read on some of the posts here of women responding that "it's just like some of guys preferring big boobs, small boobs, big butts, small butts, tall, short etc.." But speaking as a male I do believe it's different for these guys because they cannot change their penis size as a woman can change their figure or shape via plastic surgery fairly easily, a man is basically stuck with what he has for life.

Again PLEASE don't sugar cost this and hit us right between the eyes with your opinions and / or personal experiences with the above. Cold hearted truth or not . This may help more of us guys than you may think!

**lizzardb63** · 01-10-2012 12:36 PM

The plain truth: Every woman is different. We all prefer different things. I had an ex who was 7" which was fine my fiance is large with 9" It took some getting used to, but either way, we made it work. If you love someone, it isn't the size. Sure, there are women out there who have a "standard" when they seek a sexual partner, but the same goes for men and womens boobs, butts, etc. There is no ONE SIZE that's perfect. It also depends on what you do with it. A guy who has a 8" penis can be super boring and not know what he is doing (i.e. not care if he's ACTUALLY pleasing the woman but only pleasing himself) when a guy with a 4" penis can put in the effort to make it feel good and be great.

Perhaps your girlfriend likes the intimacy and honestly felt the toys weren't necessary. Do you think maybe her orgasms were bigger because of something DIFFERENT you were doing with the toy than what you do with your own penis?

**lizzardb63** · 01-10-2012 12:38 PM

To the comment of women thinking "bigger is better" might just be curiousity to see "what the big deal is"...since big penises are spoke highly of, many women are curious what its like to be with someone with a large penis. I honestly don't think its a true preferrence for most women.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-10-2012 12:57 PM

Logically. If you think about it, she is already used to your size, something smaller won't cut it (now). If she wasn't with you however and ended up with someone smaller, she would still orgasm if he was good enough in bed and through the lust and love as her body part down their adjusts.

Simularily, you have introducted toys, she has told you over and over she really prefers you. But, you add in something "different" in size and she mentally is going to visualise this and try to "feel it" which is all she did.

We are such in-secure creatures... The moment someone reacts to something, all of a sudden we get in-secure. Same for if she walked past a guy and you were with him and she did a double take, or if you snooped and found her talking to a "male" friend... There really isn't any diffence... In retrospect you maybe deliberately bought a 3 inch and a 6 inch to test her, from your own insecurities... Why would a man buy something bigger otherwise? Sub-conciously or not... It's like snooping, you always get the wrong end of the stick and end up in-secure.

Throw them away, is my suggestion. And, get rid of those thoughts.

**jns** · 01-10-2012 01:51 PM

It is hard to have a good emotional connection with a toy. She had large orgasms with the largest toy because of the physical stimulation, but she missed the emotional connection. That is very common.

When the girls were talking about abstract larger boyfriends, they are saying that out of curiosity, not actual fact. Just like guys talking about having a barbie doll shaped girlfriend. Actual fact is most people want and end up with more ordinary mates.

Become more innovative in your lovemaking and see if you can bring her to stronger orgasms if she likes them. You may find out that she may want ones that aren't as strong and draining most of the time.

**Shinester** · 01-10-2012 05:41 PM

Lizzard, I like what you said, makes a lot of since! Now you brought up a good point, not emotionally speaking, physical only, comparing your experiences of your previous to your current does he feel better now than your ex and would you ever not enjoy (in the same way) someone the same size as your ex? Or do u belive you would seek the same or larger ? Pysically speaking! Not trying to go around and around just you mentioned a good point.

CW, you are correct on the bit of insecurness as she mentioned her ex being pretty large down there! I have to admit I do still think about that from time to time. I'm a male ha!

I apreciate the honesty, I'm obviously new here and was not going to expect much from this but y'all have proved me different!

**collegechick** · 01-21-2012 11:37 PM

hey i just want you to know i relate to you.
me and my boyfriend of almost 10 months

do it everyday. we try to get in differnt postitions and stuff and a couple months ago he got mad because i just got so wet from him fingering me that he was easily able to get like 3 or 4 fingers in there and i had a orgasum. when we talked about it he got all bent outta shape tthinking i like it bigger. althou my xes were bigger i have that emtional connection and physical connection with him that i do get off during sex i dont Need a toy. .somtimes its nice to use it on me or i like when he fingers me every once in a while for fun or change of pace but really dont think to much into it. If she didnt want u or didnt want sex with you she wouldnt be doing it with u at all.. just try new things.. try getting a vibrating ring or special lubes that heat up .. ect ect. just try new things keep a open mind dont get bent outta shape. seriously things wil be okay

if u have and questions assk meee