You should have said "butt" in the irony of it, that has a twist to itself, if you think about it.

Must have been lots, and lots of currents, to get the currants so strong... good one.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? - Cliff

Condom says to Stayfree: When you work, I lose seven days of business.
Stayfree replies: If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months


A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: Why do you have your on your back?
The camel responded: What a silly question from someone who has d*** a on his face!



Wife: I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!
Husband: I wish you're a newspaper too, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!


A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, and skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby "SUM TING RONG"


A lady visited her doctor one morning. Doctor said: You look so weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals\3 times a day as I advised?
Lady: Doc, I thought you said "3 MALES a day!"


Phone rings and the Chinese maid pick up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what is he doing, the maid replied: MASTUR BATING!

Well, I might as well geek the place up a bit: random chat logs... let's see how little of it you can get



<samsim> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
<samsim> and got mauled
<samsim> and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage
<samsim> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
<samsim> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in

<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fcking soda
<TorMuck> you god dam geekass bstards

<Alanna> Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders

(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bstard.

<Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<cky> dipsh*t

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes

<maddox> F*CK!
<maddox> my mom just found my website
<+DMTec> isn't she proud?
<+khoveraki> ha
<naken> you've been on tv 2 times, in the newspapers several times, been banned from a country, has 40 million pageviews
<naken> and you didn't tell your mother?
<maddox> "what is this? Did you draw this? It looks like a penis." "No mom, I didn't draw a penis"
<+DMTec> ROFL
<+DMTec> "no mom, i didn't draw a penis" thats good
<maddox> now she's crying
<RichK> haha, your mom doesn't know about your website?
<maddox> (on the phone)
<+DMTec> maddox: did she see the "suprise - I have a penis"-greeting card?
<maddox> dmtec: oh f*ck, I forgot about that.. yeah I guess I did draw a penis.
<RichK> bahahahaha
<maddox> hahahahahaha she just said "I wish I would have died and not raised you"
<+khoveraki> rofl
<maddox> she hung up
<RichK> You are dispwned maddox

dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89.

<Casey8> Diana Ross' husband died
<Tarrier> how
<Casey8> fell while climbing in South Africa or something
<JennAway> that's sad
<Bubbaprog> i guess there is a mountain high enough

<Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.

<Toller> hey jaimer
<jaimer> hey
<Toller> i loves you sweet , baby
<jaimer> excuse me?
<Toller> we gonna get together an tonight
<Toller> right?
<jaimer> You
<Toller> ?
<Toller> What?
<jaimer> This is toby johnson, right
<Toller> you know it is, duh.
<jaimer> I'm doing tech support on Jamie's computer
<jaimer> I'm her father, you little
<Toller> hah!
<Toller> what's
<Toller> your joking right/
<jaimer> I am. I know where you live. I'm coming over to your house now. Don't try to run, I'll find you.
<Toller> Jamie, it's not funny
<Toller> Jaime?
<psmylie> You're screwed, dude. Her dad's psycho
<Toller> f*ck
<Toller> F*ck!
<psmylie> best run, boy
*** Toller has quit IRC (Quit: )
<psmylie> You're an evil , Jamie.
<jaimer> lol
<psmylie> brilliant... but evil
<jaimer> he's an anyways

Not sure what to make of that lol! Did sound pretty geeky haha

WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS

Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

I Love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila



Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum tubes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter

That was good someguy.

What did the French swim team say to their president before the germans invaded?
"We smash them!"<