Jokes

06-14-2006, 01:25 PM

got a joke to tell? here's one that i taught was funny...

THE BURGULARS

George Phillips of Grand Falls, Newfoundland, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the garden shed which she could see from their bedroom window.

George proceeded to the back door to go outside to turn the light off but immediately saw that there were people in the shed and they were stealing things. He immediately telephoned the police and told them that there were burglars in his shed. The officer asked, "Is there a burglar in your house?" George replied, "No." The officer then said that all the patrols were busy and that he George) should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said ok and hung up the phone. He counted to 30 and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were burglars in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all." And he hung up. Within five minutes, three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence.

Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George replied, "I thought you said there was no one available!"

06-14-2006, 06:43 PM

That joke was really funny! I let my boyfriend read it but he didn't understand. Finally, I explained it to him and he started laughing...hahaha...MEN

06-14-2006, 07:29 PM

hahahahha---that was too funny---do you have anymore? Maybe we should have a forum set up just for jokes, lol.

06-14-2006, 07:31 PM

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

06-14-2006, 07:41 PM

Wow!! These jokes are soo funny. Maybe there should be a forum to post jokes even though I don't have any funny ones, but I love reading them

06-14-2006, 07:56 PM

a forum for jokes sounds great!! i love a good laugh now and then. most of the jokes i know comes from my hubby or my friends usually email them to me. glad to know u all enjoy them!!!

06-14-2006, 08:08 PM

LOL! Too Funny...

I have one too....not as long though....

What are the 5 worse things you can hear from your doctor's mouth?
-Yes, that was one wild party last night
-Yea, good thing I was able to meet bail money
-Woops
-Sorry, didn't think that was supposed to happen
-I think I'm still hungover

06-14-2006, 08:11 PM

haha!! good one dolphins

06-14-2006, 08:14 PM

eh, it was ok---Yours were definitely hilarious though!!!! I've got to come up with some good ones for us!

06-14-2006, 08:20 PM

Well, we're going to have to get your hubby in here to tell us all these jokes. You're two were absolutely hilarious, especially the second joke!!!!!

06-14-2006, 01:25 PM	#1
imported_patricias213 Guest Posts: n/a	Jokes got a joke to tell? here's one that i taught was funny... THE BURGULARS George Phillips of Grand Falls, Newfoundland, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the garden shed which she could see from their bedroom window. George proceeded to the back door to go outside to turn the light off but immediately saw that there were people in the shed and they were stealing things. He immediately telephoned the police and told them that there were burglars in his shed. The officer asked, "Is there a burglar in your house?" George replied, "No." The officer then said that all the patrols were busy and that he George) should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said ok and hung up the phone. He counted to 30 and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were burglars in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all." And he hung up. Within five minutes, three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George replied, "I thought you said there was no one available!"

06-14-2006, 07:29 PM	#3
imported_womens-health Guest Posts: n/a	Pat's Joke hahahahha---that was too funny---do you have anymore? Maybe we should have a forum set up just for jokes, lol.

06-14-2006, 07:31 PM	#4
imported_patricias213 Guest Posts: n/a	wrong email address Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address: A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My loving wife Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

06-14-2006, 08:08 PM	#7
imported_Dolphins Guest Posts: n/a	Funny Jokes LOL! Too Funny... I have one too....not as long though.... What are the 5 worse things you can hear from your doctor's mouth? -Yes, that was one wild party last night -Yea, good thing I was able to meet bail money -Woops -Sorry, didn't think that was supposed to happen -I think I'm still hungover

06-14-2006, 08:14 PM	#9
imported_Dolphins Guest Posts: n/a	Jokes eh, it was ok---Yours were definitely hilarious though!!!! I've got to come up with some good ones for us!

06-14-2006, 06:43 PM	#2
imported_princess Guest Posts: n/a	That joke was really funny! I let my boyfriend read it but he didn't understand. Finally, I explained it to him and he started laughing...hahaha...MEN

06-14-2006, 07:41 PM	#5
imported_princess Guest Posts: n/a	Wow!! These jokes are soo funny. Maybe there should be a forum to post jokes even though I don't have any funny ones, but I love reading them

06-14-2006, 07:56 PM	#6
imported_patricias213 Guest Posts: n/a	a forum for jokes sounds great!! i love a good laugh now and then. most of the jokes i know comes from my hubby or my friends usually email them to me. glad to know u all enjoy them!!!

06-14-2006, 08:11 PM	#8
imported_patricias213 Guest Posts: n/a	haha!! good one dolphins

06-14-2006, 08:20 PM	#10
imported_Dolphins Guest Posts: n/a	Jokes Well, we're going to have to get your hubby in here to tell us all these jokes. You're two were absolutely hilarious, especially the second joke!!!!!

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